Maybe things aren’t so great after all.
Not that we are having a rough patch with our relationship or anything, just that things have been so hectic and frankly I think I’ve been a bit depressed (although I don’t know why but I guess that just happens) and I think my wife has been stressed and misses being able to take advantage of me. I also have definitely fallen behind on the cleaning and recently forgot to set the coffee machine up recently and this morning had it partly set up, but forgot to set the timer so it was waiting for her when she got up. It hasn’t been all bad, by any means. It’s just that we seem to actually function better when we are around each other more. We’ve always been that way. Early on in our relationship we went on a week long road trip and by the end I think we were both surprised at how much we loved being together constantly. Normally you’d think you would want to get some space from each other afterwards, but not us. Anyway, when we don’t see each other as much is when we both seem to get more cranky and things don’t seem to click.
Either way I’m not feeling very wife led right now, not that it’s my wife’s fault. It’s probably more my fault than anything, but I really think it has to do with us just not being together too much over the last couple of weeks, and when we are my wife is so exhausted that she is pretty much going to bed right after the kids, so it’s not like we’ve had any private time at all.
It may not be a great excuse, but that likely has something to do with my less than stellar behaviour around the house. Again, none of this is her fault or her problem, it’s mine. I realise that. But let me be self centered for a minute.
I’m feeling very submissive right now, but I don’t feel like I’ve got anyone to submit to. I’ve been chaste for 16 days, but there has been absolutely no intimacy in that time. I see what a wreck the house is and it seems like a losing battle all the time and I haven’t really had any energy lately. That last bit is what makes me think I’ve been a bit depressed lately. Normally I go through a “funk” in the winter. I didn’t really have a winter funk this year. Maybe it just hit me later than usual. I don’t know, but it hasn’t really helped the situation any.
What really stinks is that I know I’m going to be a lot busier at night starting next month. It’s good in the sense that it is work related, but it’s just tough knowing that things don’t look to get any easier in the near future. I’d love to say that when I relax with my wife tonight we’ll talk about these things, but I know we’ll probably just watch a show we’ve recorded and then she’ll want to go to bed, and I can’t blame her. I know how tired she has been.
Oh, well. Enough whining for today.
Filed under: female led relationship, housework, wife led marriage
AFH – I can certainly sympathise with your situation, life, children, and a less than committed wife can all make creating a wife led marriage very difficult. I think that unless your wife really wants this, trying to stay motivated and focussed is difficult. Until things become just natural, you are both comfortable with your respective roles within your new relationship, it’s never going to be easy.
I hope that you can work this out together.
I think it’s working out in general, it’s just that there is a lack of time together making it “fun” for either of us. My wife still has her expectations for my duties, etc., but hasn’t really been able to fully enjoy being treated like a queen lately as we just haven’t had much time together.
I did talk to her a little bit about my possible depression and she says she has noticed it that last couple of weeks. It’s not a common thing for me, but I know I’ll go through short bouts a couple of times a year, as does she (and probably most of us). I think she’s been a little more lenient with me on cleaning because of this. She has been making comments about the messiness, but hasn’t been as harsh as she has in the past. I’ve also been dealing with a lot of anxiety relating to my part-time job, which was supposed to be a fun way to make a little extra cash, so now instead of looking forward to going there I dread it, but still need that extra cash.
It’s tough when life gets in the way of fun, huh? LOL.