Everything is running smoothely… how boring

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted, mostly because everything is so “routine” now.  There hasn’t been anything new to write about for the most part.  Not that that’s a bad thing, just kinda boring.  The second anniversary of our Arrangement is coming up and everything is great, although a tad dull.  I’m sure it’s partly because it is now so “routine” and partly because I crave something new and exciting.  But I think my wife is also slipping back into her “I hardly ever want to have sex” mode that she occasionally enters.  It’s unfortunate that she sometimes feels that way because whenever she gets over it and ends up having sex several times in a week she looks back and regrets not having sex more often (and I’m sure she ends up feeling guilty about it).  Sure, I want to have sex more often as well, but I know it’s tougher on her than me.

Along with the lack of sex comes the lack of denial.  Of course this leads to one of those quirky, kink related paradoxes where although I was only allowed one orgasm in October it was the only time we had sex.  Therefore there was no orgasm denial.  Granted, it’s a technicality, but this is what I end up thinking about.  Hopefully this will change soon.  She went out of town this past weekend and the night before she left we made love.  After she came she told me I was allowed to orgasm as well but I had to do it in another room because she needed to get to sleep.  I asked for permission to wait, not because I was trying to control the situation, but because I can’t imagine having an orgasm that doesn’t in some way involve her.  I can’t remember the last time I sat alone in a room and masturbated myself to an orgasm.  It’s been well over two years, I know that much.  You’d think it would actually be appealing after all that time but it is the opposite.  The thought of it seems like a let down.  She told me it was OK for me to wait, but expressed that I had already waited a long time.  I told her it had only been four weeks and didn’t feel like a long time at all.  Again, just being honest, not trying to control the situation.

Something else of interest happened as well.  She nearly cried after her orgasm that night.  Yes, it was a pretty intense orgasm, but she told me it was so emotional because it was all from me, no toys involved or anything.  She told me she didn’t know I could still make her cum all by myself.

That comment created all sorts of interesting thoughts on my part.  Part of me felt like a stud and was proud.  The counterpoint to this should be that I would feel badly about her thinking I couldn’t do it without the help of her toys.  Of course I don’t.  I feel good about that too.  It’s nice that I can feel good about her thinking I’m a complete stud while also feeling good that she thought she needed her vibe to help her cum because I just didn’t have it in me anymore.

Well, I’ll leave it there for now.  We haven’t really talked about the Arrangement in a while and with our two year anniversary coming up we are probably due for a “State of our Union” talk.  It will probably consist mostly of both of us talking about how we’d like to do more but other life obligations keep getting in the way or just wear us down too much.  That’s alright, though.  It always feels better after we talk about it.