And hello again.
Well, the wife decided, way back when, that the arrangement had lost pace with our life. She was tired of making all the decisions (without denying she enjoyed final call and decisions made) and just needed me to be more of a leader in life and in bed. The timing was right. I also felt we needed a change and frankly a change for the “normal”, if there is such a thing.
This didn’t mean everything changed. Far from it. But we mostly got rid of the kink in and out of the bedroom. I made decisions on things that I knew I could do without having to check with her and made them. I made strong suggestions on other issues I felt needed to be changed but I knew she wouldn’t go along with without her consideration.
All in all we mostly went back to our old lifestyle, save that she still wanted to be catered to often. If we were sitting watching TV I still got the, “I’d like another glass of wine”, etc. If coffee wasn’t made I’d not get scolded, but I’d be reminded that I didn’t make coffee and that it was a rough morning because I didn’t make it.
On the other hand we actually had a far rougher time of it in the long run than what had probably initiated the break. Things went south fast and in hindsight the arrangement was probably destined to be forgotten anyway.
But, as rough as things are now, and they continue to be rough, my wife seems to be leaning more towards our old arrangement. I’m not going to presume anything, but I think she misses some of the kinkiness, as do I.
We’ve been a little kinkier in the bedroom lately and I’ve finally had some more submissive feelings come to the forefront again, and frankly that has been missing for a long time.
Like my wife (presumably) I wouldn’t want to jump back into our old arrangement. It’s dated and I don’t think would work for where we are now.
There are a lot of variables that I haven’t gotten into, but I just wanted to be able to post again. I’ve really missed it.
Anyway, I think if this takes off again it will be with a new mindset. We will be looking at the whole thing from a different point of view. It doesn’t make it better or worse, but it will be new and different, while being comfortably the same. I mean, we will probably do many of the same things, but we will be doing them from a different mental standpoint. The reasons behind doing the things we may do will not be exactly the same as why we did them before. And I think that will be fun and exciting. I look forward to the possibilities.
I think it will be less “kink” oriented, and more “comfort” oriented, and by that I mean comfort for both of us, her looking out for me as much as I look out for her.
Hopefully I’ll be blogging again soon.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Welcome back! I find myself in a similar situation — the kinkiness is back a bit but the day-to-day all-ecompassing femdomminess of it isn’t there… which is okay. The kink is fun and lets us stretch out play over multiple days but all in all it’s a lot less stressful for both of us this way.
Here’s hoping things stay fun and fresh for the both of you!
AFH – welcome back. There is no doubting that you need to find the right balance for both of you, and I hope you both find it.
Good Luck and keep us posted.
I suspect it is very hard for women to take control over the long term. Inwardly they want to be nurtured as well as in charge and that is a contradiction.
Women rarely have fetishes. We do. Matching that up is very hard indeed.
Please keep posting and enjoy the new balance. We all come to comfort eventually.
Glad to see you’re back. I enjoyed your blog long before I had the courage to ask for a wife led marriage.
I hope things settle down for you. But I do hope that you can adjust your dynamic because if you believe that the philosophy of a WLR is true and good for your relationship than it should be part of the solution and not the problem. It’s the kink or our own expectations that are usually the problem. If we reposition ourselves to forget more about us and focus more about our spouse (which is the core of a Long Term Relationship) than we’ll focus on the essential. And great if the kink is fun and ou both miss it: what a fun way to re-connect!!
You have to be happy in first place and maybe kinkiest thing you both have to do is to watch each other heart keep loving each other body.
hotwifeshow – Posting wild desires