Strange

I find strange, well, interesting at least, that doing things like laundry and grocery shopping is so exciting to me now.  It’s like an aphrodisiac.  The other night when I was folding laundry (in just boxer briefs and a T) my wife noticed that I had an erection almost the entire time.  She didn’t say anything about it, but everytime she passed by she looked.  By the way, that was 3 loads folded and put away.  It took a while.  The fact that I’m doing a load of her work clothes on delicate right now has me all fired up, lol.

As soon as I’m done here it’s off to the kitchen to clean up and start dinner.  I can’t wait!

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cont…

Wow, that was some drunken rambling…

Well, I had to get started somehow, lol.

So, to sum up, I came to terms with something I had actually known for a long time.  Giving her an orgasm gave me as much (or more) pleasure than my own orgasm.  To top it off, I found denying myself an orgasm to be incredibly exciting as well.  It was/is an incredible sensation to be on edge for days, tingling all over and full of energy.  I tried to explain some of this to her, but apparently did a very poor job.  I thought I had explained that even if she was too tired for sex, it would give me great joy to go down on her before bed to please her and help relax her. 

The first night I did that she seemed to love it.  The next night seemed good too.  The next night it quickly became clear that she thought all I wanted was give her oral sex.  That was NOT what she wanted that night.  She wanted more.  I was more than happy to give it to her!  But, I could tell that she had the wrong impression earlier so the next morning is when I started googling to try to figure out what was going on in my head.

That is when I found some great blogs and web sites devoted to wife led marriage and loving female authority.  Now, I thought that was all a bit much, but at least I saw that there are not only others out there, but there is a MOVEMENT out there!  Like I said, I thought it was a bit much, though.  I was pretty sure all I wanted was a bit of kink, not a lifestyle change.  Why did it seem so hard to explain that I wanted to sexually please my wife, even if it meant denying myself?

Amoung the sites I visited was Aroundherfinger.com.  I didn’t really spend much time there or do much reading.  I just remember from my first visit a suggestion to leave the website open on your computer for your wife to find as a way of starting a dialouge about your feelings.  Personally, I thought that was a bit cheesey and informal.  But, something needed to be done, so I decided on a letter.

So, that afternoon while my wife was at work I wrote a letter (which was much clearer and to the point than this blog has been so far).  I hid the letter in a closet and went about my day wondering if I should just “go back” to how I was a few weeks ago, or go through with giving her the letter.

That night after I left for work I sent her a text message telling her where to find the letter.  She called me later and told me how relieved she was and that everything was great.

When we talked about it the next night she told me how relieved she was to understand that I was just putting her pleasure first and that I hadn’t all of a sudden decided that from now on I was only going to give her oral sex.  Then she caught me off guard.

“So, did you want me to find that website?”

I panicked just a bit at this point.  I was pretty sure that I had deleted the history the day I did my searches because in the process of finding sites that interested me I hit some pretty nasty sites, lol.  So, I had to ask her what site she was referring to.

“Aroundherfinger.  I pulled down the browser history and there were only two things listed, Google and Aroundherfinger.”

D’oh!  Now, at this point all I knew about around her finger was that it suggested that I leave the site to be found.  So, I explained that I thought I had erased all the history and that I didn’t intend for her to find it, and that I thought their suggestion of leaving the site to be found was “kinda cheesey”.  She told me she was a relieved to hear that.

So, off to work I went.  And then I got to thinking, hmmm…. what is that site all about?  So, the next morning I paid a visit, and did a little more Googling.

That night the wife and I had a date to a big high dollar party that we snagged free tickets to.  On the way I told her that I went back to Aroundherfinger.com and did some more reading.  I then explained to her that what the site endorsed (a wife led marriage) was the style of marriage we had already been living!

My wife disagreed, so I had to list some things to prove my point.

1.  For many, many years my wife has been in control of the finances.  I work in the service industry so I make most of my money in cash.  Every morning (after a work night) she takes my money and leaves me an allowance (my dole as she calls it).

2.  Although we discuss all major decisions, I always defer to her.  My wife did not agree with this, so once again I had to list some things to make my point.  Her decision was final on the carpet color.  Her decision was final on the wall paper.  When I wanted to purchase our first computer and she changed her mind at the last minute as I was filling out paper work I walked out of the store without a computer.  When we were at the outlet mall and I wanted to buy some shirts that were on sale she said “no” and I walked away without new shirts…  Now, it might seem that these are just a few instances, but these are from over many years and my wife realised that indeed, I always deferred to her decision.  This upset her just a bit.

3.  My friends have always said that I am “whipped”.  Even when we were dating, if I went out for drinks with friends after work, I was calling home every few hours to check in.  My wife would tell me that everything was fine and that I should just have fun, but I always felt obligated to let her know everything I was doing.

4.  Although I mostly get to watch what I want on TV, she dictates certain shows I am not allowed to watch if she is home.  I told her that she can’t watch Oprah if I’m home, but I’ve caught her doing it anyway and I have never said anything about it.

5.  She allows me one night a week to play my online computer games.  None of my “online friends” has this rule, but I defer to my wife.

6.  She encourages me to go out with my friends more often, but I would rather spend my time with her.

 I believe I listed some more things, but she seemed a bit overwhelmed at this point, so I let it drop for a while.  Later on at the party, she went to say something and then stopped herself.  I asked what she was going to say and she told me she was now self conscious of everything because she didn’t want to seem like she was being controlling.

Aaaahhhh!  By pointing out that we already live in a wife led marriage she was trying to change!  Well, it didn’t last long.  Soon she was reclining on a chaise (looking fabulous) and I was bringing her a drink.

So, I decided to go all out.  No more being lazy all day.  For years I have used the excuse that since I work nights I am just too tired during the day to do much more than watch the kids.  Pretty much all I did was clean the kitchen before dinner.  Not that I left all the housework to her.  We shared most of the chores, but we really didn’t keep up with the housework as much as we should.  Well, that’s changed now.  I have been a cleaning machine.  I even folded and put away all the laundry while I told her to go relax until the work was done and we could watch a movie together.

The problem is, I know she appreciates everyting I am doing, but I think she would rather that I continue to “stealth sub”. 

Oh, well.  We’ll see what happens…

Oh, so much to say…

First post.  I hope it is the first of many.

So, my story begins about a month ago, maybe more.  It seems to me to be just another nite of routine, married with children sex, when somthing new happens.  My wife did something just a little different.  Something I really liked.

Now, my wife and I have been married a little over 7 years.  We have been together about 14 years now.  We have been through a lot together.  Good times and bad times, easy and hard.  We know that when times are tough and we are both a little short with each other, well, we know that there is a balance in the world, and eventually we will have our good time again.

 So, with this, I begin the blog.

Look, I don’t know what I’m doing… specifically I mean with this blog.  But more so I mean with writing shit down on the internet that people will see, which is the whole point of my writing it, but is what makes it akward…

So, it’s not so clear to me.  Except, when I think about it sometimes, it is very clear…

Look, this is getting us nowhere.  I need to state some shit now or I know I’m losing everyone I haven’t already lost to boredom.

I believe that I am a male in a Wife Led Marriage.

There.  It’s out.  There it is.

I had no idea until a few weeks ago.  I’m not trying to seem like an unwitting character in a play.  However, until a few weeks ago I didn’t realize that there was a “catagory” for the life I led with my wife.  I had some feelings, and acted on them, and got a response I didn’t expect, so I googled shit.

 What I found was more suprising than normal. 

I found that I was in a wife led marriage, amoungst other things…. (God bless Google).

Look, this is a long story, and I’m not sure I’ll get it all done tonite, so bear with me…

So, here is how the “present” begins…

A few weeks ago my wife and I are making love, nothing unusual at all, however there is nothing special either.  We have two small children and have been together 14 years (7 married).  Anyway, we were making love and I was going down on her because I knew I wouldn’t be able to “last” until she came, so down I went.  Well, apparently, over the years, she has come to know herself better than I do, lol.  She has always complimented me on my oral skills, but this nite was different.  She needed the job done quickly and correctly, so she told me what to do.

“Don’t move and keep your tounge out”!

She held my head in place and moved around until she got off on my tounge!  Hell, I was in heaven!  I didn’t understand entirely at that point, but this was the beginning of something new.

So, the next time we made love I knew I was going to cum before her.  I let her know and went down on her so that she would be able to cum.  Once again she held my head still and came shortly there after.   When she was done she rolled over to go to sleep.  After a minute or so she realized I had not cum yet.  She asked if I wanted to cum and I explained to her that all I cared about was her orgasm.  She smiled and fell asleep.

 A week or more afterword we found ourselves in a fun position again.  I could tell that she was getting tired so I went down to get her off and went to bed without release.  And it was great.  The thing about it was, well, I could tell that the last thing she wanted to be doing at that point was having sex.  I appreciated that she wanted to get me off, and “moaned and groaned”, but it’s not about that.  I’m glad she came from my services, and not the “idea” of what could be done.

OK, there is a lot more to just even get this blog started.  So I’ll leave it here to get picked up tomorrow.  I hope it’s read by somebody who knows what it’s like..