A Great Week

My wife and I had a great week.  My wife seems to be taking tiny little steps in the WLM department.  I think she sees how it can be fun for both of us.  I’m sure she also knows that it gives me pleasure, and she takes pleasure in that.  This is where we can make strides together instead of my being over-eager and possibly “creepy”, lol.  I’ve let her set the pace and have accepted what she has offered of herself without asking for more or trying to top from the bottom.

As always, I could be reading more into these things than is actually there, but this time it feels a little different.  For one thing, when we are both sitting down she has started using statements like, “would you enjoy getting me a beer”.  She’s not really asking if I would enjoy it, and she isn’t saying, “would you mind getting me a beer”.  She phrased it in a way that was comfortable for her, but also let me serve her. 

She also encouraged me while mopping the kitchen floor by saying things like “you look so sexy when you do that”.  On the other hand, she apparently threw out the mop, so I had to get on my hands and knees to mop the floor with towels.  Now, while this added a bit for me, I know it wasn’t intentional on my wife’s part.  I asked her how she’s been doing it and she told me that’s what she did last time.  So, although it made it a bit kinkier for me, I know that it was just me, not her.

Yesterday I told her that I intended on cleaning the shower as it had been some time since I’d done it and it was getting a bit gross.  Well, by the time we got the kids to bed and settled down ourselves it was getting late and we hadn’t really had any time together.  I told her this and that maybe I should “clean it tomorrow” and she commented, “I don’t think it will take as long as you think it will”.  Now, I’m not sure what to think of this comment, except that when I was in FULL SCALE WLM mode, and I considered putting off cleaning the shower she said things like “you do so much” and “it’s OK, you don’t have to clean it”, etc.  Whatever the reason, I think it worked out nicely.  Once again, I may be reading a bit into this one, but in the context of the whole week, it may just be that my wife is a bit more comfortable in a “leading role”.

I think the change started earlier in the week.  I had bruised my elbow pretty badly last weekend and my wife seemed to use it as an opportunity to get a little kinky.  As we went to bed I offered a back rub as she has been a bit stressed and tense from work.  We both stripped down and I gave her the best back rub I could.   My hands weren’t the only thing rubbing her, however, and I she seemed to get very turned on.  When the back rub was done she rolled over and I went down on her.  She was indeed very excited and soon had pulled me back up.  Moments after entering her she said “ooh, your poor elbow.  Is it alright”.  I assured her it was fine, but she told me to get on my back.  She then did something she hasn’t done in a loooooong time, and I know she never really enjoyed doing it, but would occasionally because she knew that I loved it.  She sat on my face.  HEAVEN!!!  I honestly can not remember the last time she did that.  I think the last time would be when we lived in an apartment, so maybe 6 or 7 years.  After she had her fill of oral pleasure and teasing, as she would pull away a bit and make me strain to reach her, she grabbed my cock, put it inside her and started grinding.  I started to thrust as best I could before she told me “No.  Don’t move.”  She then rode me at her leisure until she brought herself to an enormous orgasm.  She then sat still on top of me and teased me.  “Did you feel that?”  “Wasn’t that huge?”  “Are you gonna cum?”  By this point I was practically begging and I was definitely afraid she would stop so I brought myself to orgasm as quickly as possible.  When I was done she sat on top of me for a few moments as my cum dripped out of her onto my balls.  When she got off she made a point to scooch me over to the edge of the bed so that the “wet spot” would be on my side of the bed.

I was so happy.  I knew it didn’t come naturally for her.  I knew she was making an effort for me, and probably a bit for herself as well.  We hadn’t done anything like that for such a long time.  It was just amazing.

The next night she told me she was tired and to come tuck her in and she’d see what happened.  I came in and she said she was a bit tense, so again I offered a back rub.  She thanked me and rolled onto her stomach.  She was wearing her nightee so I remained clothed and sat to her side instead of atop of her.  I rubbed her shoulders and neck as the nightee made it difficult to do much else.  When she was satisfied she thanked me and started to roll over.  I asked her if there was anything else I could do to help her relax and as she pulled aside the covers she said, “if you want to…”.  I hope I’m not reading too much into that, but it seemed like she didn’t know how to ask, so did her best by offering that way knowing that I’d LOVE to.  Normally I’d strip down to at least my boxers for this, but this time I just took off my shoes.  It was incredibly sexy.  At one point I had a finger inside her and was licking while she used her own finger as well.  OH MY GOD!!!  I nearly came in my pants I was so hot.  When we were done she rolled over, pulled the blanket up and asked me to go get her some water.  I did and she went to bed.  She didn’t ask if I was ok, or if I wanted anything.  She just knew that we were both happy.

Last night she was too tired and just wanted to go to bed.  I snuggled with her for quite some time.  She told me she enjoyed my snuggling, but was rolling over (putting her back to me) to go to sleep.  I spooned with her a bit longer and as she started to doze off, I kissed her and wished her sweet dreams and left.

So, I’ve got to say that overall, it really seems to me that she let herself be a little more “dominant”.  I’m going to take it at her pace.  Whatever she’s comfortable with is great with me.  God I love her!

What a great week.

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submission: nature or nurture?

I’ve been thinking a bit about the nature of submission lately.  Well, for quite a while, actually.  I’ve never been one to let myself get pushed around and have even been spiteful enough to fail a test on purpose when threatened to let somebody cheat off of me.  Yet, at the same time, my earliest erotic thoughts have been submissive. 

My earliest erotic thought that I can remember was of being watched by my female peers as I showered, and how they would laugh at how it made my penis hard.  I would imagine them telling me do do things with it.  This was years before I even understood masturbation.  These fantasies evolved into being held captive by women, of being tied to trees, or forced to sit astride a tree limb with my feet tied together beneathe me.  Often the fantasy would involve a female my age who was caught in the same predicament.

Not only was I having these fantasies before understanding masturbation, I was having them before I knew anything about sex! 

Where did these ideas come from?  Was it because there were few boys my age when I was young and I played with several girls instead?  Not that I played girly things, but whenever we played tag, or a game where somebody had to be “it”, I was always the one.  They always found ways of making me be “it” or the target.  Either way I was always singled out by them, essentially making it me against them.  And they were sure to always win.  Not that I lost fairly.  Often they would change the rules mid game so that I would continue to be “it”.

Did this lead to taking pleasure from being submissive?  I wouldn’t think so, but I have been curious about it.  Perhaps it played a role in constructing a submissive kink.

I was thinking about this while getting my teeth cleaned recently.  As I lay in the chair and the hygenist cleaned my teeth, I thought about how much I like getting my teeth cleaned.  Not because I’m worried about my teeth, but because I enjoy laying there while a female hygenist works in my mouth.  It wasn’t sexual.  I didn’t become aroused.  But I really enjoyed it.  I enjoyed how she would pull my lip back, or tell me to tilt my head.  It made me feel good.  When she was done she told me how great I was and how difficult people can be when getting their teeth cleaned. 

So, as I lay in the chair waiting for the dentist to come in and check my teeth, I thought about teeth cleaning as an act of submission.  While she poked and scraped I was perfectly relaxed and happy.  Is that really submission?  It’s subtle, but I think it is.

Well, I guess that’s it for now.  No real movement in the wlm department, but that’s ok.  I plan on being with her forever, so there is plenty of time. 🙂