A long reply to some comments

I started replying to the comments from At All Times and Fillius about my last post and it got so long winded I thought I would just create a new post and continue the discussion here.

To be honest, my first reaction to AAT was that I did not want, either consciously or unconsciously, to be locked up by my wife.  My first reaction to Fillius was that I was not topping from the bottom, but that wasn’t really his point.

Anyway, after some more thought, I do have curiosity about chastity.  I find the fantasy to be sexy.  I am very afraid to be locked in a device where I couldn’t touch myself at all, however and don’t think I would enjoy it outside of fantasy.  Not only would it be a large mental step to get over not being able to touch yourself or achieve a complete erection, there seems to be a lot of maintenance involved with difficult cleaning procedures and hygiene issues.  That doesn’t seem too sexy.

Now, the locking Gates of Hell has seemed pretty sexy to me from the first time I saw it.  It looks more like jewelry, or an adornment, than just a hunk of plastic or a metal tube.  Plus, you can get an erection with it, you just can’t really do anything with the erection.  So, it’s more about making masturbation difficult, not complete lock-up.  I think I could get into some play with that, but it’s also clearly not something that you could wear for long periods of time.  I wrote to Tom at Edge of Vanilla a while back and asked him about it.  He said it was possible to wear that for several days, but not long periods of time.  Well, maybe I could do several days.  I’d still be able to move it, feel it, get erections, pee standing up and without mess.  I think think moving from that to the complete enclosure and confinement of something like a CB6000 would be a bit too much for me, at least at this point.

Of course, it’s a pretty moot point anyway because it seems pretty clear to me that my wife doesn’t find the idea very appealing.  That was the vibe I got by her reaction to my dream, anyway.  Unless she thought I was telling her because I was, as Fillius said, topping from the bottom.

I wasn’t.  I was telling her about a dream that I thought would be kind of sexy for both of us.  I’ve been trying to talk more before and during sex, but I’m starting to sense that my wife would prefer me not to.  I’ll ask her about it this weekend.  Anyway, she might have thought I was trying to top from the bottom and just put a stop to it by telling me she would have to “think about it”.  Now, I would like to state for Fillius, since I’m not sure how long he’s been following my blog, or how much he’s read, this WLM is not being topped by me.  Not at this time.  We are still starting out and learning and discovering.  I realised about a month ago that some of the things we were doing were still about me and not things that my wife enjoyed.  After talking about it she stopped doing the things she doesn’t enjoy and is very happy that everything is now focused on her.  Sure, there are some things I would love to do, or have done to me, but I know she isn’t into those things.  She’s told me so.

That doesn’t mean that I won’t ask her if she’s interested in something new.  I’ve been wanting to something for a while now that I haven’t done for several months.  I’m not sure how she would feel about it since our arrangement has evolved since then.  I’ve been wanting to talk to her about it, but I’ve been patiently waiting for the right time.  I don’t think it will upset her, but if she isn’t happy with the idea I don’t want to spoil her mood. 

Also, I didn’t push my wife into this lifestyle.  There is no way anyone can “push” their wives into something and hope for it to work.  I introduced it to her.  I stealth subbed for a while.  Then I stopped when I worried I might push her away.  About a month or so later my wife realised she liked all the things I had been doing and missed them.  She realised that she really didn’t have to do anything, and that if she asked me to do something I would.  In her words it was “win win” for her.  So, we really started from there and we are now at a point where she gets what she wants and does what she wants and if she isn’t into it, we don’t do it.

As for not being truly submissive, well, that is something I think about a lot.  I don’t know how to define truly submissive.  I have limits and I think one of them is being locked in such a way that I couldn’t touch my penis or attain an erection for prolonged periods of time.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe I’d love it.  I can see how it could be nice.  I could see how it could help keep you in subspace.  But that’s why it’s an exciting fantasy to me.  The reality seems to be a little too much.  At least for now.

I have relinquished a lot to my wife.  She provides financially for the family, so I’m dependent on her for that.  She informed me yesterday that I would not be allowed to build the computer I had been researching for several weeks.  It was difficult for her to do, but she did not feel that now is the time to spend that much money.  She will let me know when she feels comfortable with the expenditure.  Frankly, I have always deferred to her on these matters.  She was in denial about it at first, but she has come to accept, and now expect, that I defer to her in all decisions.

She controls my orgasms and only lets me masturbate when we have sex.  That was a tough thing to give up, the masturbation.  It was easier to give up orgasms.  Saturday it will be March and I’ve only had 4 orgasms all year.  That’s an average of 24 a year.  Before I gave up control of my orgasms to my wife I probably averaged probably 360 orgasms a year.  That’s quite a change.

The day my wife told me she wanted to pursue this she told me I would no longer receive oral sex from her.  Sure, she sometimes teases me with a few seconds of it, but that just reminds me of what I’m missing.  My most common sexual dream now is receiving a blow job from my wife.  Unfortunately I always wake up before I cum.  Neither of us can remember the last time she had my cum in her mouth.  I’ve had it in mine many times in the last year.

She takes immense pleasure in the fact that I clean the house.  She did some dishes a few weeks ago and was amazed that she couldn’t remember the last time she had done them.  She was so pleased about it she bragged to her friends and co-workers for days.

She takes immense pleasure in the fact that sex is about her, focused on her, and my role is to make sure she is sexually satisfied.  As she put it, “if you don’t get to cum, well, sucks to be you”.

I could go on, but that’s generally what this blog is all about.

I hope that didn’t sound too harsh, Fillius.  I appreciate your post and understand what you are trying to say.  I get your point that it is all about my wife, not me.  Luckily, I don’t think my wife is into the CB6000, so I don’t have to worry about it.  But, I also don’t measure myself against other subs.  My measure is my wife and how she feels about me and my actions.  At the moment, we are doing great!

Something I forgot to mention in a previous post:

In Flexing the Dom muscles a bit I talked about how I asked my wife if she wanted to be “bossy” last weekend as she has mentioned she’d like to try doing more.  Then, Saturday morning she bossed me around in a very dominant tone and it seemed so natural.  Well, Saturday night when I asked her if she had enjoyed her day of being “bossy”.  She wasn’t sure what I was talking about so I reminded her of the conversation we had the previous day about “playing” that weekend.  She had forgotten entirely and was just taking pleasure in being dominant!  What a big step for her!  (She also pointed out that I had failed in my last task… having her jeans ready.  Damn dryer!)

Random:

I’m a bit surprised I didn’t get a bunch of comments on the cuck post.  I’ve actually been getting a lot of hits by random people googling it.  I’m sorry to disappoint, guys, lol.

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What I meant to say was…

Well, that last post went off on a tangent I wasn’t expecting when I started writing it.  So, I guess I’ll finish up today with what I had intended to write about.

Anyway, I’ve been allowed four orgasms so far this year.  The last three took place within a two week time frame.  I have no idea how many orgasms I’ve been privileged enough to give to her, but, just in the on the time frame of those three it was many!  She used me many times on our anniversary weekend at the hotel before allowing me an orgasm shortly before leaving the hotel.

Now she is enjoying denying me again.  I’m glad.  I’m nervous, and horny, but glad.  Last night when we went to bed, I felt that I needed to be a little more dominant than usual.  I think that helped her get warmed up, but within a few minutes she began exerting her control again.  I was still feeling quite the stud and was giving her a better time than I feel I had in a while.  She was moaning and writhing and clearly enjoying.  I was able to hold of orgasm for quite some time, but eventually I started getting close and had to slow down a bit.  I told my wife I needed to slow down for a moment and with her eyes closed she gently shook her head as she pushed mine down.  She then rode my tongue for a while bringing herself off over and over until she was too sensitive.  I was nearly shaking with desire and lust as she rolled over and enjoyed the afterglow of the orgasms.  I kissed my way up her body, from her beautiful bottom, up her back and to her neck.  I then held her and tried to keep my body from shaking (or humping her leg).  I asked  her if I could masturbate a bit and in a very sexy voice she told me I could for a few minutes.

As I edged myself over and over she told me that it may be a while before my next orgasm.  She told me that if I showed her exemplary performance everyday that perhaps I might be allowed to orgasm as soon as this weekend.  But I had to be perfect.  She teased me a bit more and then told me I’d been allowed to pleasure myself enough.  It was time for her to get some sleep and time for me to mop the kitchen floor.  So, off I went with aching balls to wash the pots and pans and mop the floor, while my wonderful wife fell gently to sleep in post orgasmic bliss.

I’m blessed!

Over the few weeks my wife and I have talked about the assignments she used to email me from work.  Work got to be too busy for her and she just didn’t have time to send out personal emails anymore.  We were both a bit disappointed by this, as we both seemed to get pleasure from them.  She enjoyed having a way to express dominance in a way that gave her time to think about how she was saying something, so it let her feel sexy when she said it, or, in this case, emailed it.  I enjoy it, and I’m still figuring this out, actually, partly because it breaks up the routine of chores I do with something new that she wants me to do, partly because I like reading her dominant orders to me, and I just realised last night that it actually makes me feel more submissive, somehow.  It makes doing everything else feel a bit more sexy, like when we were first exploring this. 

Anyway, she figured out a way around this.  Sunday night she drafted some assignments for me and just didn’t mail them out.  Now she has a list to pick and choose from as she desires and we both get enjoyment out of it.  To be honest, I didn’t realise how much I had missed it until yesterday, when I received the second assignment for the week.  Reading her dominant tone and seeing the jobs she wanted me to do just put me in a good sub mindset. 

I’ve had several erotic dreams about my wife lately.  On our anniversary weekend, as we lay in bed together, she asked me to tell her about them.  I told her that one of the dreams I’d had a few times already.  Each time was different, but the set up was the same.  She was going to go off on a business trip and wanted me to make her cum over and over before she had to leave and be without me.  But she had me use vibrators and dildos and rode my face and used every part of me but my cock, which was locked in a chastity device.  I had been hesitant to tell her about that part.  I know the basis for the dream is because she will be leaving town for four nights in a couple of months, and one time while we were looking on-line for cock-rings she saw a locking Gates of Hell chastity device.  I told her I thought it looked sexy and explained what it was for.  Her response was, “Oh, so if I go out of town and I don’t want you playing with yourself I’d put that on you before I left”.

So, I know why I’ve got it on in the dream.  And it’s sexy.  But I was a bit hesitant to tell her.  She seemed a little put off by it as well, which is why I was hesitant.  I only really mentioned it because she kept saying, “and what else happened”, in between kissing and fondling, and I was running out of details.

Now, I’ve had some other sexy dreams about my wife as well, most involving teasing me and edging me.  But I had another chastity dream recently.  I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to tell her about it as we were getting ready to make love.  This time, since I thought we got the awkwardness of the device out of the way, and I’d established that it was just part of the dream, I mentioned it right off the bat.  My wife pulled back from me and said, “Look, I’m not sure about locking you up.  I’ll have to think about it”.

“Whoa!  It was part of a dream!  I don’t know that I want to have it locked up!”  I was a bit panicked, but it was true.  I have thought about being locked up before, and while the idea seems sexy, it kind of freaks me out.  I don’t know that I could do it.  To be honest, my wife has ended up fully embracing most aspects of the wlm that we’ve tried out, and it’s clear she doesn’t want to go back to the “old days”.  The idea that she might really like having me locked up and want to do it all the time really scares me.  Sure, a bit of play might be nice, but what if she really liked it?!?!

Well, that was a bit rambling.  I think I had it all a little straighter in my mind yesterday before being side tracked by cuckold flashback.  I guess what I’ve been trying to say is we are having fun with this and my wife seems to be making progress expressing dominance and I’m finding a new burst of energy in submitting to her, while still being her big, strong husband.

Flexing the Dom muscles a bit

This past weekend was a lot of fun.  I had suggested to my wife that perhaps she might enjoy being “bossy” this weekend, as she has mentioned she would enjoy.  She thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try.  Well, for one reason or another it didn’t seem to happen on Friday night and I figured, well, she’s still trying to figure it out and I’m not going to force it on her.  When she wants to she will.  In the mean time I’m happy either way.

Then, Saturday afternoon she caught me off guard.  She issued a few orders to the kids and as they scampered away she turned her attention to me.  She told me she was off to take a shower and while she did I was to clean up the kitchen from lunch, unload the dishwasher and reload it with the dirty dishes, make sure everything was clean, the list went on for a bit.  She finished by telling me to retrieve her jeans from the dryer when they were done and have them waiting for her on the bed by the time she finished her shower.

Oh, I was in heaven.  The orders just flowed from her so naturally.  She didn’t seem self conscious about it or anything!

I pulled all the still wet clothes from the dryer and grabbed her two pairs of jeans that were in there, brought them to her and asked which pair of jeans she would like to wear.  She told me and I returned that pair to the dryer by itself to dry more quickly.

I completed the rest of my jobs and went to check email while my wife finished her shower and her jeans dried.  Unfortunately she was done before her jeans.  She called out for me asking for her jeans, I ran to the still running dryer and pulled them out.  They were done, but the auto-sensor hadn’t stopped the dryer and alerted me.  Damn that dryer!  I delivered her jeans and we went about our day.

That night I was allowed to pamper her a little more than usual as she chose to relax on the couch and issue me commands occasionally.  When she did get up it was to let me know she was leaving the room for a moment, and when she returned she expected to have her drink refilled.

Oh, heaven!

She decided to retire to the bedroom earlier than usual that night, but not before giving me another order, to be waiting in bed for her.  I didn’t need to be told twice.

She continued to issue instructions for the next hour or so as she used me for her pleasure.  She seemed to be able to sense when I was reaching my limits without my having to tell her, and she would slow me down or have me go down on her.  Finally, she seemed to be sated as she pushed my head from between her legs and pulled the covers over herself, leaving me uncovered next to her.  Without thinking I knelt and began to masturbate.  She watched me for a few moments before pulling the covers aside and telling me to enter her again.  Within seconds I was frantic and telling her I was at the edge.  She told me to cum and I did and I was so happy.

After going 25 days, then 17 days she has allowed me to cum two consecutive Saturdays.  As much as I enjoy the denial, being allowed to orgasm has been wonderful, and made things a bit more difficult.  I mentioned this to my wife and she pointed out that being reminded of how good it feels more often makes it more difficult knowing that it could be a long time before the next one.  Oh, the beauty of the mind games.  She is getting so good at it.

Which brings me to Sunday night.  She was tired and not interested in sex, so she turned in a bit early.  As I tucked her in she asked me to go get her cell phone for her.  I did and she told me it was because she was using it as an alarm.  I knew that and started to tell her so, but she continued, “it’s not like I’m going to call my boyfriend now”.

Now, the boyfriend/girlfriend joke has been in our repertoire for a long time, as well as jokes about strippers.  For example, she would call me when she’s out to let me know she’s on her way home.  I would reply, “thanks for the heads up.  I’ll get rid of the strippers”.  Same goes for boyfriend/girlfriend.  But, I guess I’ve been a bit conscious of it because of reading about Helpmate Hubby’s recent cuckolding. 

I’ve always been a lucid dreamer for the most part, that is, aware that I’m dreaming while dreaming.  There have been some times where I haven’t been, though, and maybe that makes those regular dreams more real to me than it would to a non-lucid dreamer.  I don’t know.  Either way, I have had several dreams over the years where I’m not exactly cuckolded, but my wife is lured away by another man, while in my presence, and despite women trying to lure me away as well, I just want to try to retrieve the attention of my wife.  After everyone of those dreams I have awakened feeling horrible.  It was as if my wife had actually been unfaithful to me.

Now, in each of these dreams there is no actual man, just the idea of some amazing lover who has let it be known that he would allow my wife to be pleasured by him.  There isn’t anyone out there that I’m actually afraid of losing my wife to.  We’ve always been fairly secure with each other that way.  We both know that at the end of the day, we will be together.  So, I’m not sure where this anxiety dream comes from.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

Fairly early on in our relationship, after dating for about a year and a half, my wife moved to another city to take an internship.  So, we began a long distance relationship.  Before she left I told her that I didn’t expect her to remain faithful the entire time we were apart.  I just didn’t want to know about it.  We all get lonely and sometimes just need the love of someone for a night.  I’m sure part of the reason I told her this was to relieve myself of any guilt I might have if I was to stray, but part was also because I really loved her and didn’t want her to go without sex.

Well, after a couple of months my nightly calls weren’t answered, or were answered by her roommate who would tell me she was out.  Occasionally she would answer if I called early and we would talk and things seemed good.  Then she’d tell me she had to go because her friend had arrived and they were going out.  Then instead of just being “friend” she started telling me about a specific guy friend.  Then, once again she just never seemed to be around when I called.  After a while I guess her roommate started to feel bad for me, and perhaps was concerned for her, and told me that she had been seeing somebody regularly and that they were out together, and that the reason she hadn’t been returning my calls is that she hadn’t been home in a while.  This tore me up, but, and I hate to admit this, it also excited me a bit. 

The next time we talked I gently confronted her with this information and she confirmed that she had been seeing somebody.  At this point the sickness in my stomach was again replaced by an odd excitement and I found myself with an erection asking her about his abilities as a lover.  She reluctantly told me.  She said he was good, but not better than me.   Just different.  She wouldn’t tell me his size, which I found odd because I already knew about her past with a guy who had a 10 inches.  She wasn’t reluctant to admit that he was better orally than I was, which hurt because I loved it so much.

Anyway, shortly after that I decided that I couldn’t live without her anymore and told her that I was going to come to the city she was in to spend a few months with her.  She seemed very excited by this and agreed to stop seeing the other guy.  So, I began planning my move, which wasn’t just to see her but to straighten out my life in the process.  It bought my tickets and let her know the date of my arrival, which was about 8 weeks away.

We kept in touch and I started mailing her checks to help with the rent, etc.

When I got there we were both so happy.  Everything seemed great.  I got along well with all her friends right off the bat, too!  I was in heaven.  She, apparently, was in hell.  Her conscience was in turmoil.  So, about a week into my moving in with her, in a new city where the only people I knew were her friends, and knowing that I had burned some bridges in the process of my move, and that I was on the outs with my family, she laid it on me.

She had been sleeping with the guy up until the day I got there.  The spot on the bed I was sleeping was occupied by him until the morning I arrived.  The welcome sex I had received was sloppy seconds to the goodbye sex he had received.

I was devastated.  There was no excitement in that knowledge.  I was heartbroken and angry and I had nowhere to turn.  To top it off it was a guy in her close group of friends that I had met and been hanging out with every night since I had arrived.  Everybody knew I had been cuckolded by this guy who was a good deal bigger than I was, and I’m not a small guy.  I clearly was more more intelligent and funnier, and probably more athletic overall, but he was the bad boy, the tough guy.

Oddly, I wasn’t really mad at him, and got along with him fairly well.  Hell, if nothing else the guy had excellent taste in women.  If I were in his position, I would have done the same thing.  Hell, I’d be insulted if a guy had declined to have sex with my girlfriend without my knowing it.

It was her.  She had cheated on me, not him.  And she didn’t tell me because she thought I should know, as she proclaimed.  She told me because she couldn’t bear the guilt.  She told me because she wanted to feel better, not to make me feel better.  I was angry and hurt.

We, of course, got over it after a few more rough patches.  I had to tell her how upset it made me when she would stop to see him occasionally, as they were still friends and I think he missed her company.  It was then that she agreed to never see him unless I was there.  I didn’t ask her to do that.  I just pointed out that I felt abandoned when she did it.  She regrets ever dating somebody who so clearly was not deserving of her attention.  Her friends were relieved that I showed up and saved the day because they knew he was a no-good loser and saw that I was a keeper.

Before too long I was over it.  We didn’t try to avoid the topic.  We didn’t discuss it much, but once I was over it I never threw it back in her face.  At the end of the day, I was the one she had chosen.  I win.

But, the weird thing is, I still occasionally had cuckold fantasies.  I know, it’s not unusual.  I also would fantasize about my wife and the other guy.  That’s probably not too unusual either.  I even wrote a short erotic story once, for my wife, where a new bride cuckolds her husband on their honeymoon.  She loved the story and when it was done asked if I was the cuckold husband.  I told her that I was both.  I was the seducer and the cuckold.  I was excited and aroused by both sides of the fantasy.

But those dreams.  Just thinking about them makes me sick to my stomach.  That’s how I know I could never stand to be cuckolded.  Reading Helpmate Hubby’s experience does the same thing.  For some reason, reading an erotic story about cuckolding is arousing, but reading someone else’s  true experience makes me anxious and ill.

Just writing this is making me a bit of a wreck.  Not telling the story of the past, but the idea that my wife would ever want to seek the services of another man.  I can’t bear the thought.

So, back to the innocent boyfriend comment.  There seemed to be something else there.  There seemed to be a tone in her voice, a playful tone, but not in the way there has been other times we use it.  It was more of a teasing tone, a tone of her power.  It was erotic, but made me nervous.  I leaned over to kiss her goodnight and whispered in her ear, “that’s not nice”.

She chuckled as I walked off.

All is well

Well, it’s been a bit since my last post.  I think this might be the way it’s going to go for a while.  With everything running smoothly there isn’t a whole lot to blog about.  It’s not that we’re in a rut or anything, it’s just that our WLM has become business as usual for us. 

We had a great anniversary weekend at a nice hotel this past weekend.  We dropped the kids off with some friends and had some “alone” time.  It was very pleasurable for both of us. 

Well, there isn’t much going on.  Just wanted to let everyone know that we are doing great.  While I might wish for something interesting to happen that can spice up the blog, it’s nice that things are going well and smoothly and I wouldn’t want to disturb it just for blog fodder!

Back in the saddle…

Well, my last post was a bit premature as I ended up running a fever through the weekend and feeling like crap most of the time.  By Monday night, however, I was feeling great, and, to be honest, very, very horny!

My wife was as well as it had been quite some time since the last time we got to be intimate.  After quietly holding each other for a while we began to kiss and fool around.  The moment I entered her I knew I was in trouble.  It was clear that I would cum very quickly so I pulled out and she gripped the base of my cock tightly.  I didn’t really need it since I wasn’t that close, but it was nice she was involving herself.  After a minute I tried again, but there was just no way.  I don’t know why, but just being inside my wife was too much for me.  It had never happened before, and I’m not worried about it or anything, but it was strange to basically feel like I would cum in just a few strokes.

My wife had me go down on her and after bringing her to an orgasm she had me try to enter her again.  I knew it was a losing battle, but I tried again.  As soon as I entered her I told her that I couldn’t help it and that I would cum if I stayed inside her.  She, in the midst of orgasm, told me to cum.  So, after two or three strokes I did and it was wonderful!

After laying next to her for a few minutes she told me to get up and get her a towel and some water and that I had “gotten away with a freebie”.

I realised that she hadn’t intended to let me have an orgasm that night and in a moment of weakness told me to go ahead and cum (probably not wanting to interfere with her own orgasms at that point).  I kept my mouth shut and did what she said.  After getting her things for her and wishing her a “good night” I left to watch a DVD.  Every once in a while I would take a break from the movie and get up and do a little job.  One of these was setting up the coffee maker for my wife’s morning coffee.  Now, halfway through this job I went back to watch a little more of the movie figuring I’d go back in 15 minutes and finish the job.  Even as I did this I realised how stupid it was.  It only takes a couple of minutes to do the entire job, yet I broke it into two phases, knowing that if I forgot to finish it I’d hear about it in the morning.

Of course I forgot.

As soon as I woke up in the morning I apologized to my wife for forgetting the coffee.  She immediately jumped on me, in a teasing sort of way, about how forgetful I become after she allows me an orgasm.  I again apologized as I got up to start my day.

Later that night, after running some errands, I went to the office where my wife was playing around on the computer to give her a kiss before mopping the kitchen floor.  She looked up at me and said, “don’t you have some jobs to do”?  “You know, I left some assignments for you and you didn’t do them.  You didn’t have my coffee ready for me this morning.”  She went on for a bit about how poorly I was doing after being allowed to cum.  I confirmed with her that she hadn’t initially intended to allow me an orgasm.  I then pointed out that it had been 17 days since my last one.  She shrugged indifferently at that.  If she had been waiting for this Friday it would have been three weeks.  However, I don’t think she’s even considering my time denied right now.  When we last talked about it she said she would just decide on a case by case basis whether she wanted to let me cum or not.  So, who knows when my next opportunity might have come for an orgasm.  Either way it was nice seeing my wife be a little more “controlling” and enjoying it.

In a less pleasant show of control, my wife has been a bit more dominant with me in relation to the children.  When we first talked about our arrangement my wife wanted me to make sure that I didn’t defer to her on issues relating to the children.  She told me she wanted me to be strong in my convictions because we both want what is best for the kids, and I spend the majority of the time with them.  Well, there have been two incidents in the past two days where I have essentially been over-ruled by my wife.  The first incident, yesterday, was not too big of a deal.  My wife countered a rule I had already set down with the kids.  She wasn’t aware I had already told the children “no” to something, so when she said “yes” she wasn’t going directly against my wishes.  However, when I told her that I had already said “no”, she countered with, “well, I just told him it was OK and he’s being good”.  Alright.  I left it at that, however it was now her responsibility.

This morning was a bit of a different issue, and I’ll probably bring it up with her again.  Our 4 1/2 year old, who knows how to work the cable controls better than us, ordered a movie on pay-per-view.  It was only $5, but my wife caught what he was doing before he did it and told him to stop.  Instead he sped up and ordered it before she could stop him.  He has been quite insubordinate lately and it is becoming a problem.  Now, my wife dealt with this problem in a way I completely disagree with, which I won’t get into.  However, I wanted to deal with his insubordination.  I asked him for the remote control.  He refused.  I asked again.  He again refused.  Then, I lost my cool a bit and yelled for him to give me the remote.  At this point I heard my wife call my name softly from another room.  “Could I talk to you a minute” she called to me.  When I got there she essentially told me that she had already dealt with the situation and that I needed to leave it alone so that I didn’t confuse them.  I understood and left and was admittedly a bit upset about it.  Before she left for work she checked in with me to make sure the two of us were OK and I assured her we were, and we are.

I do find it interesting, though.  This is something new.  Although she’s told the kids in the past that we are both the boss, these past two days she really made it clear to me and the kids that ultimately she is the boss.  I’m OK with it, I guess.  But I still think she took the wrong tack with the kids this morning.

Almost there…

I’m feeling a lot better today.  Yesterday about all I was able to accomplish was getting the kitchen straightened out.  I missed this weeks mopping, but, oh well.

Today I vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen again from yesterday and today’s use.  I also got some laundry done.

Seeing how much the place has fallen apart in the last few days makes me realise that on the days where I’m feeling “lazy” and I only do the basics, well, that’s a lot.  It keeps this place looking good.  I know I don’t do as much as others out there, but even on my “laziest” of days I now know that I’m doing what it takes to keep this house looking great and running smoothly.

I’m sure my wife will be glad to come home to a house that’s been straightened up a bit.  She sounded so relieved when I told her I was feeling better and moving around a bit today.  I know she was relieved for me, but she told me how stressful it has been for her since I’ve gotten sick.  It wasn’t a guilt trip.  It was acknowledgement on her part on how much I do to help out.  It is now clear we could never go back to the “old days” of me sitting on my ass most of the day “too tired” to help around the house.

I told my wife that one of the first clues I had that I was feeling better was a certain feeling in my private region.  There hasn’t been any action down there since Sunday.  Then I realised I was HORNY!  Woohoo!  I may not be 100% yet, but I know I’m past the worst of it if I’m horny!

It’s going to be a busy weekend cleaning, but I’m looking forward to it.  It feels good to clean again and it’s going to be nice once I get all caught up.  Then, in a couple of weeks, when I’m tired on one of my “whiny Thursdays” (as I’ve now come to call them), I can re-read this post and remember that doing the basics can be good enough sometimes.  It keeps the house clean!

Stomach flu…

…is no fun.  The house is a wreck and my poor wife has been run ragged.  She came home from work early on Tuesday but had to work from home and had a deadline to meet.  She was also taking care of me and trying to keep the kids from destroying everything in sight (a losing battle).

I’m definitely feeling better, but I’ve got no energy and little appetite.  I’m supposed to work tonight but I don’t think I’ll be able to.

At least I’m not nauseous any more… well, not much…