Context

I’ve been thinking lately about how our arrangement has changed the context of things in our life.  For example, a few posts ago I talked about how my wife made a joke about calling her boyfriend.  This is an old joke we’ve both used many times in our lives together.  However, now that we are in a wlm it has changed the context and took on a bit of a different meaning.  I’m not sure if my wife is aware of it as well, but she seems to be.  It doesn’t mean that she means it to be anything other than a joke, but given the new dynamics of our relationship the joke takes on another dimension.

Last night my wife was telling me about a meeting she had at work earlier in the day.  In this meeting was a vice-president of the organization she works for and he commented that he was meeting with a vice-president of a certain university later in the day.  The punch line was that the other v.p. arranged to meet him at a Hooters. 

My wife then commented that I went to that university.  The v.p. asked what my degree was in.  My wife replied that I attended for five years before leaving to live with her.  An employee who my wife is the boss of sat next to her and wrote on his notepad a comment about my not having a degree which gave them both a chuckle.

Now, I’m not ashamed that I didn’t get a degree.  I basically got the education I wanted and decided not to go back after moving to be with my wife, as I also described in a recent post.  But it’s this new context where my wife is now the leader and I’m the househusband that gives this story a new dimension.  Hell, I’m not sure my wife would have even told me that story if it wasn’t for the changed dynamics.  I don’t think she ever told me a story about having a joke at my expense while I wasn’t around before.  I’m sure it happens all the time.  I know I make them in the course of a shift at work.  But I’ve never felt the need to fill her in on them.

So, I’m sure the point of the story was about the v.p. of my university thinking Hooters is an appropriate place for a lunch meeting, but it finished with my lack of a degree after attending for five years.  She knows I’m not insecure so it was safe to tell me.  But I don’t believe she would have if it weren’t for our arrangement.

So, I felt a little embarrassed and got into a little bit of subspace, but not because of the joke.  It was because my wife told me about the joke knowing it was at my expense, and that she laughed at a joke made by somebody that she supervises, that was at my expense as well.  She told me because she was being a bit dom, and in turn I felt a bit more sub.

It’s all in the context.