A small misunderstanding?

My wife told me that she needed to go shopping for some new clothes.  Now, we’ve had this discussion many times over the years and I’ve always told her that she doesn’t need permission from me to buy new clothes.  I know she is frugal and that she needs “professional” attire.  I don’t.  I will wear t-shirts until they fall apart, although to be fair, I have tried to look my best anymore while out in public with her, even if casual (meaning I’ll wear a nice t-shirt and tuck it in).  Anyway, she brought this up again and I agreed that it was probably time for some new clothes and told her I’d be glad to watch the kids so she could have several hours alone shopping. 

When she was done she thanked me for letting her buy the new clothes.  I told her that she didn’t need to thank me.  She said, “oh, I know”.  I started to feel relieved.  Then she added, “I always think after I say something to you that I should say it a way to make it sexier and more fun for you”.

Sigh.

I haven’t brought it up yet since we’ve just been having such a great weekend, but not only was I surprised that she is second guessing herself to make things “more fun for me”, which is nice, but not needed.  But she also seems to be missing the HUGE point that it’s her money.  Let’s forget about the WLM for a minute.  When I was bringing in the majority of cash into the relationship (although probably only slightly more) I didn’t stop her from buying clothes whenever she wanted.  Now she is bringing in 95% of the family income!  It’s HER money!  She is in charge of the budget and finances!  She knows if it’s there to be spent and how it should be spent.  This has nothing to do with the WLM.  It’s the reality of our relationship.  I’m not very responsible with money.  I never have been.  She is the responsible one, so out of necessity became the person in charge of the money.  So, why thank me?

Now, to make it more complicated she saw my statement that she didn’t need to thank me as part of my “role” in our WLM.  I appreciate that she still thinks being a bit more “demanding” or “bossy” when talking to me is an easy way for her to make things more exciting for me.  It’s the difference between, “would you mind getting me another beer when you have a minute” and “bring me another beer”.  I can appreciate that even though I’ve told her it’s not a big deal.  She has told me in the past that it’s something she wants to work on because it’s fun and makes it better for me.  OK.  That’s her prerogative and I love her for thinking of me.

It’s just unfortunate that she is tying together my trying to tell her that she doesn’t need to thank me for buying clothes with her own money that she works hard for, especially when the clothes she is buying are for her job so that she will look more professional, with some kind of request for her to make me feel more submissive. 

This is definitely something we’ll need to talk about.  If she thinks that I’m trying to get her to be more dominant when I’m trying to make some other point then things can get out of hand and complicated very quickly.  And no, this is not my subconscious trying to top from the bottom.  When she thanked me for watching the kids all Saturday I accepted that thanks.  It was my pleasure to watch the kids while she shopped.  Here I could accept a little bit of D/s if we were to play.  I can get behind a “I’m a good househusband who watches the kids while my wife shops” game.  But I’m being completely serious that my wife doesn’t need to thank me for letting her buy clothes for herself and that if she thought my intentions behind letting her know that she doesn’t need to thank me for it is that I really want her to be more dominant then we could find ourselves in trouble soon.

I hope that made sense.

On a sexier note, we had some amazing sex on Saturday night.  Maybe it was the modelling of the new clothes, or the fact that we hadn’t been intimate for several days, I don’t know.  Either way it was hot!

My wife started by telling me she was giving me a “freebie” and that I could do whatever I wanted.  I expressed some confusion as to what she meant, but didn’t want to discuss it so I did what I wanted, which was to go down on her.  Now, if she had indeed wished for me to do whatever I wanted, it didn’t last too long.  After a couple of minutes she was controlling the sex.

After bringing her to two orgasms she told me she’d had enough and I rolled off her and as she lay on her back I “spooned” her side.  She felt my erection poke her hip and reached down and gently held it in her hand.  I started rocking my hips and soon was humping her hand.  She teased me by tightening her grip and then loosening it to the point there was barely any contact.  She teased me this way for several minutes until she let go and started playing with herself.  She must have gotten very excited teasing me the way she had because it took her only a few seconds to have another orgasm. 

She looked at me and thanked me for the orgasms and told me to get up and get her some water.  In a daze I did as she asked and felt incredible.

She is so good to me.

3 Responses

  1. I usually give the same advice. Communication. Be open and tell Her whats on your mind. But always be conscience to not tell Her what it is that She HAS to do. My Wife and I talk all the time and when she asks what on my mind I say it. But I always ensure that I only suggest things and I try to be vague. I want Her to find Her own way to a WLM.

    It seems that she is trying. Try not to be too critical of Her as that might shut Her down. If she wants to thank you then she thanks you. Its not up to you anyway.

    Good luck and keep pressing ahead.

  2. I hope that this was not a complaint by you. Seems to me, you are getting all that you want, whether or not you deserve it. Some people have all the luck.

    Seriously, the two of you are great. Please continue.

  3. It wasn’t a complaint. I just didn’t want her thinking that I was looking to make it more D/s when to me it is really about the fact she needed new clothes for work and it’s her money, so she shouldn’t need to thank me for it. She thought I meant “don’t thank me, dominate me”, which I didn’t and getting those things confused could cause trouble down the road.
    I think we cleared it up, though.

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