Feeling complain-y

I talked briefly with my wife about the “shopping thank you”.  I mostly wanted to clear up any confusion over why I told her that she didn’t need to thank me for letting her buy clothes for herself.  I wanted her to know that I wasn’t asking her to be more bossy or more dominant.  I wanted her to understand that I don’t think she needs to request permission or thank me solely because it’s her money that she earned and that she is in charge of the finances and that I know she isn’t frivolous.  She told me she understood and she was glad I cleared it up.  She also reiterated her appreciation of my watching the children while she was out.  That was a legitimate ‘thank you’ and I appreciated it.  She did point out, again, that she wishes being a bit more bossy in her tone and statements came more naturally.  She was just raised to “please and thank you” everything, but gets pleasure out of the more dominant tone when she is able to do it.

Frankly, I’m continuing to find her natural dominance in more subtle ways.  She really doesn’t need to sound bossy when she asks me, “did you actually clean the bathroom” after I requested that she inspect it.  She wasn’t being bitchy or bossy.  She just asked in a matter-of-fact way.  Clearly I had not done a good enough job.  There was no punishment, just her pointing out things that I missed that should have been obvious.

Speaking of cleaning, my cleaning assignments have picked up this week due to houseguests coming this weekend for Easter.  As usual it’s members of my wife’s family, two male cousins.  While scrubbing the toilet a few minutes ago I experienced a new feeling.  Well, maybe not new.  I guess it was just a combination of feelings that I haven’t felt before in this context.  It was a bit humiliation and a bit anxiety, I guess.  Here I was cleaning the toilet for my wife’s two male cousins.  My alpha ego was raising to the surface and I was starting to feel like I needed to get a bit macho.  There is no way I’d want these guys to know about our arrangement.  I started feeling competitive.  It’s really the first time I’ve felt this way since my wife and I started this.

I’ve got a lot more cleaning left to go, but I knew I needed to settle down so I decided to sit down and write about it a bit before getting back to my chores.  It doesn’t make it any easier knowing that we haven’t been intimate since Saturday, and it’s been ten days since my last orgasm and we won’t be able to be intimate again until next Monday at the soonest.  That is assuming my wife will want to be modest while guests are here for Easter.

OK, enough whining.  Time to get back to work!