Feeling complain-y

I talked briefly with my wife about the “shopping thank you”.  I mostly wanted to clear up any confusion over why I told her that she didn’t need to thank me for letting her buy clothes for herself.  I wanted her to know that I wasn’t asking her to be more bossy or more dominant.  I wanted her to understand that I don’t think she needs to request permission or thank me solely because it’s her money that she earned and that she is in charge of the finances and that I know she isn’t frivolous.  She told me she understood and she was glad I cleared it up.  She also reiterated her appreciation of my watching the children while she was out.  That was a legitimate ‘thank you’ and I appreciated it.  She did point out, again, that she wishes being a bit more bossy in her tone and statements came more naturally.  She was just raised to “please and thank you” everything, but gets pleasure out of the more dominant tone when she is able to do it.

Frankly, I’m continuing to find her natural dominance in more subtle ways.  She really doesn’t need to sound bossy when she asks me, “did you actually clean the bathroom” after I requested that she inspect it.  She wasn’t being bitchy or bossy.  She just asked in a matter-of-fact way.  Clearly I had not done a good enough job.  There was no punishment, just her pointing out things that I missed that should have been obvious.

Speaking of cleaning, my cleaning assignments have picked up this week due to houseguests coming this weekend for Easter.  As usual it’s members of my wife’s family, two male cousins.  While scrubbing the toilet a few minutes ago I experienced a new feeling.  Well, maybe not new.  I guess it was just a combination of feelings that I haven’t felt before in this context.  It was a bit humiliation and a bit anxiety, I guess.  Here I was cleaning the toilet for my wife’s two male cousins.  My alpha ego was raising to the surface and I was starting to feel like I needed to get a bit macho.  There is no way I’d want these guys to know about our arrangement.  I started feeling competitive.  It’s really the first time I’ve felt this way since my wife and I started this.

I’ve got a lot more cleaning left to go, but I knew I needed to settle down so I decided to sit down and write about it a bit before getting back to my chores.  It doesn’t make it any easier knowing that we haven’t been intimate since Saturday, and it’s been ten days since my last orgasm and we won’t be able to be intimate again until next Monday at the soonest.  That is assuming my wife will want to be modest while guests are here for Easter.

OK, enough whining.  Time to get back to work!

4 Responses

  1. Something that helped me with my boyfriend, when he was bothered that I never gave him any commands/instructions, was to learn to distinguish between favors and commands. I too am polite, but he’s required to say “Yes, Mistress” (or, in public, “Sure thing”) when I’ve issued a command, and not to say it if I’ve asked a favor. If he’s not sure, he either asks or, if he gets it wrong, I correct him.

    I’m not sure if your wife would be up to it, but having a thing like that might help. It means I can say even something ridiculous like, “Can you get that light, please?” and yet our protocol confirms that it was, in fact, an order.

  2. What a good idea. That just might work. My wife has it ingrained in Her to say please/thank you.

  3. Thanks Dev. I bet we could have fun with something like that.
    I made the mistake of saying “yes, Ma’am” to her once. She clearly isn’t ‘into’ that. Usually I say things along the line of “my pleasure” when she asks me to get something or do something.
    What’s interesting to me is she told me after she asked if it was ok to leave and go shopping that she had wished she’d instead told me she was going to go shopping and that I was to watch the kids. She want’s to sound more dominant, she just has a hard time doing it.

  4. Whilst I appreciate that this is a highly complex issue for many wives, and with all sorts of psychological issues to be overcome and years of behavioural patterns to change, but come on, how difficult can this really be. Just for the sake of argument, assuming that your wife accepts that you are submissive, is willing to accept her position of power, maybe enjoys it just a little bit, and certainly knows how much you enjoy her being in control, then sure it’s not that difficult to take on a semi dominant/teasing attitude towards her husband some of the time. After all I am sure that most mothers for example get some practice with their kids, and most women have at least some bitchy streak when it comes to other women. It’s also not as if something like this has been sprung on them overnight, in most cases it will have come out over many months.

    I think the simple truth is that many wives just don’t like to act in this way, or don’t like to see “their” husbands treated like this, least of all by them. Either they are not getting anything out of acting like this themselves, which is probably true, or they just don’t realise how much it effects their husbands to be treated in this way. Either way it means that you either have to have a very understanding and out going wife, or maybe one that is so very naturally dominant that she actually gets enjoyment from bossing you about.

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