Opening up to her

Last night, as my wife deleted programs from our DVR, my wife and I chatted.  After a bit I asked her what she wanted to watch.  She told me she was enjoying talking so she muted the TV and we continued our chat.  I was hesitant to bring up our arrangement, but eventually asked if it was OK to talk about it.

“Sure, we haven’t talked about it in a long time”, my wife excitedly agreed.

I was a little surprised by that.  Frankly I think we talk about it all the time in casual conversation, but I guess my wife just considers that casual conversation.  In her mind we haven’t “talked” about our arrangement since she exploded and told me that was all we talked about.  I believe that was in January.  Anyway, she seemed excited to talk about it and could tell something was on my mind.  I knelt in front of her and I told her how I was feeling.  I explained that I was very happy with our arrangement and that I wanted it to continue as long as she was enjoying it, but I haven’t been very “into” it lately.  I told her about my lax performance cleaning and how I wasn’t feeling very motivated.  I told her that I wasn’t trying to make more work for her, but that I thought there should be some kind of “punishment” when I wasn’t performing up to her standards. 

She agreed that I haven’t been doing what I should and what I’ve done hasn’t been up to par.  She also told me that she could tell I’ve been a bit down lately.  She accepted the idea that we could introduce consequences into the arrangement, but to start the consequences would just be her voicing her disappointment with me.  I agreed with her and thought that would be a great place to start.  This way we haven’t created another job for her.  I like that.

As we continued talking about different aspects of the arrangement I brought up my submission to her.  It was difficult to talk about because I don’t completely understand it.  I was a bit nervous about bringing it up because I wasn’t sure if that was one of the things she liked about the arrangement.  Anyway, I started by pointing out that I wasn’t a submissive person, but that I desired to submit to her.  I told her that I wanted to express that submission to her more and find ways to keep me in that mindset.  She seemed to understand and I think she looked a bit pleased with my openness.  We didn’t come up with any ideas, but hopefully we’ll be able to figure something out.  To me it could be as simple as her reminding me of our positions in the household. 

I felt very good after our talk.  Not only did it help me get back to a proper mindset, it appeared to me that my wife felt a little more Dominant afterwards as well.  It’s difficult to say, but she had a look of confidence and pleasure at the same time.  It was very sexy.

When we were done talking it was time for bed.  I waited while she got herself ready and joined her in bed when she was done.  We cuddled and began kissing but something happened.  Maybe it was all too much for her, or perhaps it was another anxiety attack.  Either way I tried to comfort her and told her “it’s OK”.  She shushed me and I held her quietly.  Finally she said, “talk dirty to me”.  I was caught off guard but quickly started whispering all the things I wanted to do to her.  I softly stroked her through the sheet between her legs.  After a few minutes she told me to get her vibe.  When she was ready she said, “show me my cock”.  I knelt on the bed and stroked myself in front of her.  “No”, she said, “show it to me properly”!  I stopped stroking and grasped my cock at the base and presented it to her.  She leaned forward bringing her mouth close to it and reminded me that it would only be in her mouth briefly as a reminder of what i was missing.

The feel of her mouth is such sweet torture.  So soft and wet… and too soon gone.

She told me to enter her and I did.  We made love softly as she controlled the tempo.  I got very close to the edge when she orgasmed but was able to last.  As I rolled off her I asked for permission to masturbate and she allowed me to.  I brought myself to the edge and asked for permission to cum.  She wickedly replied, “no”.  The last two nights as she has denied me there has been something in her voice and a look in her eyes.  She really seems to be taking enjoyment in my denial.  I think she has really turned a corner.  Anyway, that look put me into a very submissive space.  I asked permission to kiss her bottom.  She smiled and said yes and rolled onto her tummy.  I softly placed kisses all over her bottom.  I was buzzing in subspace and in heaven.  I could hear my wife making sounds of pleasure sinking me deeper and deeper into subspace.  Soon my soft kisses became gentle licks.  In college we used to perform analingus on each other fairly often, but that was a long time ago.  It became obvious that she still finds it pleasurable as she lifted her bottom for me to get better access.  Soon she turned over and told me to enter her again.  She held me still and ground her pussy onto my cock and soon enough was having another orgasm.  When she recovered she handed me the vibe to clean and dismissed me from the room.

What a wonderful night.  My head is back where it needs to be and my wife seems more confident and controlling then ever!

11 Responses

  1. Wow! What a night you had!

    I think I understand that buzzy, warm feeling you get when you open up to your wife about these feelings. I’ve recently had two or three conversations with my wife in which I totally confided my feelings, and (from my perspective) the conversations were cathartic and all-meaningful.

    Great post. Have a great weekend.

  2. I agree with S, it also sounds as though your wife understands more than you think, and is beginning to enjoy her power to control you more and more. I just think that this whole thing takes much much longer that you would ever think it would take to develop, and that it is only through experience and understanding that your wife will grow into a more dominant role. It may not be dominant in the way that you would have first wished her to be, but that would probably have not been very sustainable for her, and certain an unrealistic expectation to have.

  3. S – Yes, I found it very cathartic. I wouldn’t have been able to have that conversation a year ago because she wasn’t ready for it (not to mention me) and she would have probably been pretty upset by it. Since she understands now and is involved she was very supportive and understanding.

    AAT – This is definately something that moves with very small steps. As much as I’ve wanted some things that my wife isn’t interested in I’ve pretty much been able to accept what she is offering and I’ve been happy with that. I’m glad to see that we can still progress and maybe one day grow into something even better!

  4. I think it’s inevitable that these relationships are progressive and developing.

    And while it can be frustrating that they don’t reach our expectations straight away – the joy can be in the unfolding changes…

  5. You and your 3 month pop-ins!!!
    I hope you are well. I also hope to hear from you more.

    Take care and I’ll be checking on you…

  6. Perhaps, your lack of motivation doesn’t need punishment so much as she needs to tease you more to get the work done.

    I think in general most women would struggle with “punishment” but would be more open to the “connection” when they tease us.

    Just a thought.

  7. She hasn’t really picked up on the teasing much. I think it mostly has to do with the lack of time do to her work and being able to go between mom mode and wife mode.
    She scolded me Saturday morning for staying up too late.
    “I’m disappointed you chose to stay up so late last night. I think you made a poor choice”, she told me. I think she wanted to say more, but the kids were around.
    It definately hit home and I felt bad about disappointing her, but within a few hours had mostly forgotten about it. Sure, I’ll think twice about doing that again, but I still think maybe losing a privelege would have been appropriate as well.

  8. Just because I only comment every three months doesn’t mean I’m not reading…

  9. I’m glad to know you are around. Like I said, I hope to hear from you more.

  10. What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious knowledge about unpredicted emotions.

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