And then I say something stupid…

My wife asked me to come to bed with her last night, which is not something she usually does.  By that I mean that she essentially told me to come to bed for sex.  Now, there are times when I know ahead of time that we are going to have sex for sure, date nights, special occasions, etc.  But on any given night there is no guarantee and usually I don’t find out until I go to kiss her good night.  So, it was a pleasant treat to be told to come and service her needs.

It was fantastic.  Very simple.  No toys.  Very straight-forward sex.  And I loved it!  It was just right.  I was also very proud of myself because as she was getting close to her orgasm I thought I was going to have to stop.  I knew if I stopped the chemistry would be gone and it would be a disappointment for both of us.  I also didn’t want to cum too soon, well, at all, really.  Anyway, I somehow was able to refocus my brain on her and it worked.  I pulled back from the brink without having to stop and without having to fall back on unpleasant thoughts or anything like that.  I thought about her and was able to go the distance. 

So, after she came, and I was still riding high on my “I’m a big, macho stud” high I get after sex without release, I nearly ruined it all.  Despite being fairly incoherent at the time I tried to express how proud I was of feeling like I needed to stop, and then being able to over come it.  So I said something totally stupid.  As she lay there feeling great from her orgasm I said, “I almost came before you but I didn’t want to ruin it for you.” 


She replied, “it wouldn’t have ruined it for me, that’s your thing, not mine”. 


I thought she had gotten into the orgasm control.  I guess it’s OK that she indulges me in it, but I thought she kind of enjoyed the power of it as well.  Maybe she does.  I guess she was not quite thinking clearly either, what with having just cum.  Maybe if I had cum she would have enjoyed it, but then had fun scolding me for it as well.  I probably shouldn’t dwell on it.  Anyway, at the time I felt like I’d blown it.  I felt like she wanted to take a step back from the kink.

Maybe she felt that, or maybe it was all in my own head.  Either way she got right back in command.  She gave me a list of things she wanted me to do for her immediately.  I got dressed and did the first thing she had told me, which was get her some water and allergy medicine.  I got them and returned to the bedroom to give them to her.  I stood at the side of the bed and held them out for her.  She sat up and just stared at me for a moment. 

“You aren’t going to kneel for me”, she asked?

I was caught off guard.  I quickly knelt and she then took the water and pills.

“I like it when you kneel for me”.

Oh.  Yay!  Was she trying to make up for the comment on OC?  I don’t know.  Maybe she didn’t think twice about it.  Maybe it’s all in my head.  One thing I do know is that these re-affirmations of who is the boss are so important to my mental stability.  I know At All Times would agree with me that without these signs of acknowledgement you start to doubt yourself and the dynamics of your relationship.

I’m so thankful for having a wife who is able to do that for me.

6 Responses

  1. I find that women and men just “see” things differently. If I was you (well, I am…LOL) I’d stop over thinking it all and enjoy the fact that she:

    1. Told you to come to bed and have sex with her. This is great. Her timetable. Her request.

    2. She had an orgasm. Now I know alot of women don’t put as much into the orgasm thing as us me do, but the simple fact is that you were able to satisfy her. And that is a great feeling.

    3. She immediately gave you a list of things to do. No post orgams let down that us men so often experience.

    4. She made you kneel. That is HUGE!.

    Enjoy your buzz. And I know your still buzzing!

  2. Thanks, and I am! LOL.
    Even if part of it is an illusion (which it may or may not be) it would be an illusion that she is actively helping with, which is nice.
    So, you’re right. I should stop over-thinking it and be happy with what I have (which I usually do).

  3. Try not to let it get you down. I sometimes say something stupid like that that hurts Jos and makes him doubt things, and yet I really mean what we do. Sometimes the wrong words just come out. 🙂

  4. I wonder how many women are actually into orgasm control.

    I mean, if I was a woman and I exert power on somebody, my final reward is seeing him climax. And it would be even more fun, if it was against his will. What other reward could there be?

    If domination was just about getting “serviced” by the sub, it would be boring. Domination is something active. You want to dominate somebody. If you are keen on having orgasms, it is fun to deny you. but if you are craving to be denied, it will be my pleasure to let you cum until you beg me to stop.

    With my limited experience in dominating my wife, I experience the same: It is a great feeling to play her like an instrument. To see how she reacts to what I do to her. To see her give up control. She is giving me her most private moment. She is defenseless and helpless. I control her and observe her with the clear mind of a scientist. And having her climax against her will is even more fun. Her orgasm is my victory and her defeat.

  5. I am very very disappointed in you lol. I seem to remember that i entitled one of my post some time ago, “and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid”, we should ahve both finished off the sentence with “I love you”, for that is probably both our wives wanted at that point in time. I think it’s important to remember that all wives no matter how much they get into being in a WLM, still want that feeling of love, to be made love to, and on occassions just to be wooed by their husbands without kink or anything wife led. The trick of course is to spot these times and to remember just to make love to her. I have fallen into the exact same trap, but you will get used to spotting the signs.

    You will have learned from this experience, as I did, and it will help to make your relationship stronger, it’s all part of getting the balance right. I think Urmel is so right in what he says. I also think that most women probably resent Orgasm control at first because it takes away something that they have always given their man in the past something that they as women have always been able to give their man as a gift. I think it just takes time for them to realise that by denying their husband that they are still giving him what he wants, and that by doing so it will make allowing him at a later date all the more better, and an even better gift from her to him. The danger is that we all get too hung up on this, and enjoy the control so much that we would rather not orgasm.

    It’s a lot to take in, and a lot to think about but at least your wife recognised that her comments hurt, and went straight back into her dominant role to make ammends.

    Great post thanks for sharing.

  6. Dev – Thanks. I love the way you and Jos are able to talk about whatever is bothering you.

    Urmel – Thanks for the comment. I guess you have to be a little sadistic to take real pleasure in the control and denial, and my wife isn’t really into that. However, since she does love me she is willing to indulge in this kink while enjoying things that benefit her.

    AAT – Sorry for the plagerism. It did sound a little to familiar when I wrote it. Consider it flattery, lol. Going along with what I said to Urmel, I may have also misunderstood the intention of her words. Perhaps she meant that it wouldn’t have ruined it for her because the way I phrased it it sounded like I meant she was already cumming, so my orgasm would have ruined my kink, but she still got off, so to bad for me. I could speculate all day. She shows me often enough that she takes pleasure in the tease sometimes. I’ll be happy with that.

    Thanks for the comments, everyone!

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