Normal?

It seems like there has been a lot that I’ve wanted to say, but when I have the time to write it slips my mind.  Not that I’ve had a lot of time to write.  Things seem to have been really busy lately.  Not busy in the, oh I have so many chores to do to show my devotion to my wife, busy.  Just lots of regular old things going on.

I guess the main thing lately is how non-kinky it is anymore.  This isn’t a complaint, just something that has slowly dawned on me over the last month.  For the most part I have been getting absolutely no “thrill” out of our arrangement.  Again, this isn’t a complaint.  It’s actually a very nice feeling.  The arrangement is just our natural way of life now.  I don’t expect my wife to be a Domme, and I don’t act submissive.  However our roles are now well established and feel very normal now. 

I’m not sure if my wife has realised this yet, but she did kind of say something along those lines the other day.  My birthday is coming up and I’m working that night.  She told me that she would be taking the children to the museum in the morning giving me some alone time.  She was telling me because she thought I would like that, but wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t prefer to have the kids there on my birthday.  Of course I was glad to have some “alone time”.  Anyway, at one point she said something along the lines of, “I’m not asking for your permission, I make the decisions, but I just wanted to see how you felt about it”.  A year ago that would have made me melt.  Now it’s just matter of fact.  I appreciated the fact that she is comfortable stating that she makes the decisions and that she still wanted to know how I felt about her decision.

When I first realised that I wasn’t getting the submissive buzz as much anymore I assumed it was because we were falling back into our old ways and not following the arrangement.  Slowly I saw that this wasn’t really true.  We seemed to be on a very steady course with our arrangement.  I think I started to understand it better while making love to my wife.  She told me to cum inside her and I did.  Then she told me she wasn’t done and told me to go down on her.  I did so without hesitation.  I also did so without going into subspace.  I was simply making love to my wife.  The fact that I was giving her oral sex moments after cumming inside her seemed perfectly natural.  From that moment on I think I just became more aware of how thorough the transformation has been from our former relationship to our arrangement.

I continue to due my chores and hear about it when things aren’t up to snuff.  Not that my wife bitches at me.  She just points out that things are dirty or need to get done or whatever.  She still emails me assignments as she sees fit.  While her sister and her family were visiting us this past weekend we acted totally normal, which means we were ourselves in our arrangement.  While sitting at dinner my wife would let me know if she wanted more of anything or a drink refill, as well as asking our guests.  I, of course, would get it.  Aside from noticing a pleasant change in my demeanor, I don’t think they suspect there was anything out of the ordinary going on.  They are a very “equal” couple themselves.  My brother-in-law even cleaned up after dinner one night while the rest of us were doing other things.  The next time he attempted it, though, my wife called out to me to not let him and that I should do it.  We just shrugged at each other and he went to find something else to do while I cleaned up.  There was really nothing awkward about it.  It all seemed very “normal”.

So, that seems to be the situation at the moment.  I’m very much wife led and loving it, but it doesn’t feel kinky any more.  I’m sure I’ll have moments of subspace again, and I’m sure my wife will occasionally feel the desire to be more outwardly Dominant.  In the mean time it’s kind of nice to know that at this point everything we’re doing is really all for her.  My proof is in the knowledge that I’m not getting off on it anymore.  At least not in the kinky way.  I’m getting off on knowing she’s happy and being completely in love with her.

——————–

For the OC/OD statisticians out there, despite my wife’s suggestion that she might up my regularity of orgasms so that I would have more than 24 this year, I’ve only had one this month and that was two weeks ago.

4 Responses

  1. AFH – glad to hear that things are settling down and going well for you. I have to agree, as the same thing seems to be happening in my own relationship with Jane. It sort of just becomes “normal”, I don’t know whether it’s because at some point you just have to stop pushing, and just accpet what you have is the way that it’s going to be, or that your prospective changes over time. Whichever, there is no doubt that things you did sometime ago that gave you a sub buzz, do become the norm.

  2. Are there consequences if you don’t live up to Her standards?
    About your orgasms, isn’t it quite normal for your frequency to go down if everything you’re doing is all for Her?

  3. AAT – I would guess that it’s similiar to the saying about doing something (or not doing something) for 4 weeks make (or breaks) a habit. I feel like we’ve been doing this long enough now that we aren’t “doing” anything, we are just being ourselves.

    Ritemate – The consequences are that my wife is less than happy, and I don’t want that. I’ve felt like there have been times where I deserved some kind of punishment, but she has never punished me in any way, which is ok. It’s probably just a selfish feeling on my part to want to be punished, but personally I think it would also help. I think my wife still finds that too difficult for her, so she doesn’t bother. She just lets me know when I need to step it up a bit.
    As for the orgasms, well, yes. As I’ve mentioned it led to only 24 orgasms for me last year. When my wife realised this she was a little taken aback. She said she’d try to increase the frequency, but so far no luck, lol. Oh, well. I’ll survive. Although more orgasms wouldn’t be so bad…

  4. Ah, yet another brilliant post.

    Rock on your wife emailing demands.

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