Latest talk

Well, the wife did something yesterday that she hasn’t done much of in the previous few months… use me for sex.  It was very nice, to say the least.  Afterwards I mentioned to her that when I wished her a “happy anniversary” last week she had mentioned we that we needed to talk about our arrangement.  I could tell at the time it was nothing too serious.  It just sounded like a “we haven’t talked about it in a while” type of thing, but we have both been sooooo busy (for a couple of months now it feels) that yesterday was the first time I could bring it up.

Basically she ended up apologizing for not being more proactive.  I, of course, told her it’s not about her having to do things for me, but she is far smarter than that.  She understands that the Arrangement has to be a two way street.  As she said, “lately you’ve been doing all the cleaning and working around the house and not having sex… if we didn’t have the arrangement it would be the same thing”.  Her point wasn’t that the arrangement is pointless, but if she isn’t involving herself in doing things than it is no different than not having the arrangement.  She of course brought up giving me assignments again, which she hasn’t been doing.  I again explained that it wasn’t supposed to be a chore for her, but her point of view is that it personalizes my regular cleaning routine, plus the things she sees that she wants me to clean I may not see.  The problem is she doesn’t seem to have time to give me the assignments any more.  Not that I’m not cleaning, etc.  She acknowledged my cleaning.  Her point is about her involvement.

She seemed to get a little down at times during the conversation, but pointed out, without any prompting from me, that she didn’t want to take a break or end the Arrangement.  She did say she was going to make more of an effort to be involved, which is a wonderful thing, and the conversation ended on a good note.

To lighten the mood a bit at the end I gave her some orgasm statistics.  For me to have the same number of orgasms this year as I did last year I’ll need to have one every four days for the rest of the year.  She laughed and assured me that wasn’t happening.  She did throw me for a loop when she asked what her stats were for the year.  I was caught off guard and pointed out that it was easy to count my few orgasms to her many, but (I’m a dork) she knows that I track both.  I commented that she is probably off her pace from last year a bit as we’ve had a couple of slow months this fall.  However, when I went back and counted she is actually right on track with last year (of course that’s a rough estimate as I never know exactly how many times she cums).

All in all it’s been a very good week.  Anniversary, her birthday, Thanksgiving, using me for sex… good times!

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Second Anniversary

Well, today marks the second anniversary of our Arrangement, but sadly it doesn’t have the bells and whistles of last year.  Not that I’m not marking the occasion, and we do both acknowledge it, but frankly we’ve got too much going on at the moment and celebrating what is essentially and arbitrary anniversary is just not on our list of priorities right now.  Her birthday is a right around Thanksgiving, so we’ll be doing plenty of celebrating next week any way.

Still, it is pretty wonderful to know that we are two years into this wonderful journey.  Maybe this weekend we’ll find some way to mark this special occasion.

One of those days

I have an overwhelming desire to be dominated today.  It’s very strange and I wasn’t expecting it, but sometimes I feel this way.  It’s like I have this compulsion to submit and a desire to be used and humiliated.

Sure, I have submissive tendencies and enjoy the power exchange and things like that, but this is one of those occasions where my darkest fantasies seem to have taken hold.

I wonder what has triggered this?

Everything is running smoothely… how boring

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted, mostly because everything is so “routine” now.  There hasn’t been anything new to write about for the most part.  Not that that’s a bad thing, just kinda boring.  The second anniversary of our Arrangement is coming up and everything is great, although a tad dull.  I’m sure it’s partly because it is now so “routine” and partly because I crave something new and exciting.  But I think my wife is also slipping back into her “I hardly ever want to have sex” mode that she occasionally enters.  It’s unfortunate that she sometimes feels that way because whenever she gets over it and ends up having sex several times in a week she looks back and regrets not having sex more often (and I’m sure she ends up feeling guilty about it).  Sure, I want to have sex more often as well, but I know it’s tougher on her than me.

Along with the lack of sex comes the lack of denial.  Of course this leads to one of those quirky, kink related paradoxes where although I was only allowed one orgasm in October it was the only time we had sex.  Therefore there was no orgasm denial.  Granted, it’s a technicality, but this is what I end up thinking about.  Hopefully this will change soon.  She went out of town this past weekend and the night before she left we made love.  After she came she told me I was allowed to orgasm as well but I had to do it in another room because she needed to get to sleep.  I asked for permission to wait, not because I was trying to control the situation, but because I can’t imagine having an orgasm that doesn’t in some way involve her.  I can’t remember the last time I sat alone in a room and masturbated myself to an orgasm.  It’s been well over two years, I know that much.  You’d think it would actually be appealing after all that time but it is the opposite.  The thought of it seems like a let down.  She told me it was OK for me to wait, but expressed that I had already waited a long time.  I told her it had only been four weeks and didn’t feel like a long time at all.  Again, just being honest, not trying to control the situation.

Something else of interest happened as well.  She nearly cried after her orgasm that night.  Yes, it was a pretty intense orgasm, but she told me it was so emotional because it was all from me, no toys involved or anything.  She told me she didn’t know I could still make her cum all by myself.

That comment created all sorts of interesting thoughts on my part.  Part of me felt like a stud and was proud.  The counterpoint to this should be that I would feel badly about her thinking I couldn’t do it without the help of her toys.  Of course I don’t.  I feel good about that too.  It’s nice that I can feel good about her thinking I’m a complete stud while also feeling good that she thought she needed her vibe to help her cum because I just didn’t have it in me anymore.

Well, I’ll leave it there for now.  We haven’t really talked about the Arrangement in a while and with our two year anniversary coming up we are probably due for a “State of our Union” talk.  It will probably consist mostly of both of us talking about how we’d like to do more but other life obligations keep getting in the way or just wear us down too much.  That’s alright, though.  It always feels better after we talk about it.