A Rough December

It’s been a rough month… more actually.  It really started a few weeks before Thanksgiving when our oven died.  That in itself wasn’t horrible, but since then things kept piling up until about 12 days before Christmas.  The day of my work Christmas party our kids were sick on top of all the other stress that had been building up and my wife had reached her breaking point and took it out on me.

She basically felt completely frustrated and alone and in the moment felt like our Arrangement was part of the problem.  She felt that because she was supposed to lead that I didn’t have to deal with all the stress an didn’t do anything unless specifically told to do something by her.  I acknowledged her hurt feelings and let her continue.  She then started into the sources of our stress and how she felt that I hadn’t done anything about any of it and explained all the things that she had done.

I began to feel hurt and angry.  She couldn’t see how much this stress was hurting me as well.  Instead of snapping at her I told her that she had a right to feel the way she did, but then gave her a different perspective.  I started with the oven.  Our old oven was small and wall mounted.  We also had an old, dying stove top.  When the oven died I suggested getting a range to replace the oven and stove top.  To do this I would have to do some work in the kitchen.  My wife ended up disagreeing because she didn’t have faith that I would follow through with the plans.  Instead she just wanted to update and replace what we had… until a salesman essentially advised that we do what I had initially suggested (without knowing I had already suggested it).  With that my wife changed her mind and we bought the range.

With my wife feeling stressed and depressed, however, she remembered it differently.  In her mind I hadn’t done anything until she decided to buy a range, order it and give me a deadline to have the demolition and other work done.  I gently reminded her of this pointing out that it wasn’t that I hadn’t done anything, it had just taken her some time to agree to what I had initially suggested and that I had done everything I had said I would do.  The project isn’t over by any means.  We had agreed that this would be just the start of a kitchen remodel that may take a year or two (since we don’t have the money to do it all at once).

Once she realized that I was right she relaxed a little, but I could tell she was now starting to feel guilty and that wouldn’t help anything.  I also gave her a different perspective on some of the other issues that had been causing us stress and then suggested what the real problem was.  I pointed out the problem wasn’t that she was “in charge”, or that I was “lazy” or any of those things.  The problem was that these issues were piling up and we were both very busy before Christmas and had no time at all to commiserate and deal with what was happening together.  She felt like she was dealing with it alone because she was dealing with it alone, or nearly.  I was dealing with it alone as well.  Hell, I was at work when I got the news that our son required a surgical procedure to correct his vision.  All I wanted at that moment was to be with my family, but I had to work.  In all the stress, and grief and depression my wife only remembered that I wasn’t there.  She didn’t remember why I wasn’t there.  That was secondary to her feeling alone to deal with the news.

When it was all said and done we both felt much better.  It was clear that my wife was relieved.  It also served to reinforce the idea that she doesn’t “lead” because of our Arrangement, but we came up with the Arrangement because for better or worse, the final decision is always hers.  It may sometimes feel like extra stress, but probably is no more stressful than when I make a decision for her and she has to second guess it and often disagree with it (at least initially).

Since that conversation things have been wonderful.  We still have all of the stress to deal with, but she knows she isn’t alone in it.  As a matter of fact she has relaxed enough to the point where her sex drive seems to have kicked in to overdrive.  This hasn’t exactly turned into more sex for me, unless you count cleaning her toys as sex… which I don’t.  Not that I’m complaining.  I enjoyed being in my device all day yesterday while she spent an hour in the afternoon by herself just “messing around”.  When she was done she joined me in the family room and hugged me, then cupped my caged cock while looking deep into my eyes.  It was a wonderful moment of power exchange.  Later that night, as she went to bed, I asked if I might be allowed to fool around a bit as well.  She replied, “Just for a minute… I don’t want you getting carried away”.

Having been allowed to orgasm Christmas day I would guess I’m done for the year bringing me to a total of 20 orgasms.  Four less than last year.  Oddly, at this point last year I felt like I wanted more orgasms.  24 seemed too few.  This time I feel like 20 was too many.  Next year I would love to wait six weeks between releases.  I think that would be HOT!!!

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