Reset?

So things have continued along a fairly predictable schedule.  The wife and I have super hot, super kinky sex, I start to wonder if there is a next step coming and then nothing happens for a while.  Then I get cranky that nothing is happening, my wife feels guilty and eventually we find a time when all is right in the universe and we can have super hot, super kinky sex.

I feel guilty for the crankiness and my wife feels guilty for the lack of sex.  But it’s life.  For my part I understand that she works hard and sometimes just would rather get extra sleep than sex and now school is out and the kids are up late, etc.  But sometimes it just feels like apathy.  That’s the hard part.  

I know she feels guilty as well, and I do my best to let her know that I understand her dilemma.  

So, two nights ago we had some hot action go on and in the end I was left denied (although I did ask to be allowed to finish by myself in another room and my wife told me I could, but then I decided to wait) and last night when I offered to ease the stress of my wife’s long hard day, a very long, hard day, I was told she would rather rest, but that she would take me up on my offer tonight.

While things have gone very well since the end of our official Arrangement (in general) I’ve been curious as to my wife’s opinion about the matter lately.  I’ve been thinking of bringing it up, but the occasion hasn’t really presented itself.

Frankly, there are many, many things floating around in my head that I’d love to ask my wife that the situation just never seems to arrive.  One of them is about the guy Nick, who had the 10″ cock in college that she slept with because he had a 10″ cock.  I’m curious how he measures up to the big purple dildo.  And, of course, I get off on the little bit of humiliation.  So, I don’t ask because I’m just being greedy.  She would get nothing out of it.

Anyway, today I though, I wonder if my wife misses anything from the former Arrangement?

Now, remember, she ended it, not me (although I had pretty much quit doing a good job which helped her agree that it wasn’t that great any more).

So I thought, should I ask her?  Would it be smart?  What’s the point?  We mostly do all the same stuff anyway, it’s just that none of it is a “Rule” and we have agreed that we are “equal” in opinion and that she shouldn’t have to make all the decisions…

Really, the change from ending the Arrangement hasn’t been that drastic.  It was an acceptance that we no longer had a 24/7 power exchange relationship, but most of that power exchange remained because it existed prior to our Arrangement.

I digress.

Fast forward to tonight.

I ask my wife if she would like me to rub her feet after we had dinner.  She eagerly agreed.  I rubbed her foot and calf quite thoroughly, or so I thought, until I asked for her other foot.  She responded that I wasn’t done with her first foot yet.  It had already been about half an hour.  I thought I was done.  Wrong.

So then we were distracted by children having to go to bed and bedtime things before I could again rejoin my wife.  At this point she was folding clothes but almost done so I couldn’t help.

As she finished I asked if I could rub her other foot.  She told me she was going to bed.

Here is where the trickiness of our relationship (lately, at least) comes in.  She didn’t say, “no”, and she didn’t say, “yes”.  She said she was going to bed.

So she gets ready for bed and asks me to bring her some water.  I do that.  Then I leave momentarily to brush my teeth (in case I get lucky).  When I get back I sit on the bed and she tells me how tired she is.  I prepare myself for disappointment, and honestly at that moment I wondered why she even bothered to hint at sex the previous night.  So I ask if she still wants me to rub her other foot and she is eager to agree.  As she pulls her leg from under the blanket I see she isn’t wearing panties.

I’m still in my clothes (and wearing my device which I’m sure she knew and we haven’t really talked about in a while) and she guides me as I rub her foot and calf.

As I massaged her I wondered where it would lead.  I was still fully clothed (and in a chastity device that was holding back a straining erection).  As I rubbed her feet I offered to get her toys.  Why wouldn’t I?  It seemed appropriate.  She told me not to stop as I kept rubbing.

When she was done with the foot massage I thought I was done for the night.  That’s when she asked for the toys.

My tongue is not very long.  I’m not surprised how sore it gets from her workouts.

Tonight she told me she wouldn’t need my cock, but felt sorry for me, I guess, at the end and I got to have a turn.

Of course, before that she enjoyed the combination of my tongue, her vibe and the big purple cock for about an hour.  She was almost funny every time she wanted stop and get sleep, but instead she would push that dildo deeper and tell me where to lick.

As we wound down something came up.  As she, after much consideration, let me make love to her, she started telling me how lucky I was.  I agreed quickly and started thanking her for everything  that had gone on not only that week but over the past few months.

How did it end?

My wife started asking tough questions, like, “why don’t I rub her feet more often”?  “Why have I let my service go downhill”?  “Why aren’t I holding you to higher standards?”

She told me she is starting again tomorrow.  I’m really not sure what this means, but I’m afraid it’s a “be careful what you wish for” moment.

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5 Responses

  1. I am going to ignore your last statement, “I’m afraid it’s a”, because your not afraid, your delighted……!!!! 🙂 At least I’m pretty sure you are. Are you?

    I know that you have said this before recently, but give or take, we seem to be in similar situations. We have never had a formal “arrangement”, although I am pretty sure that Jane understands what I want or would like, but is reluctant to take the next steps. Like you, although things WL have taken a back seat recently, Jane still expects me to maintain my level of commitment and service, which I have.

    If Jane ever does want to take those next steps, I am ready to submit to whatever she will have me do for her. All I am looking for is a sense and feeling that Jane is encouraging my submission. I am trying to give Jane what I think she wants, and as such feel that I am submitting to her. I suggest you do the same and maybe this will encourage your wife to encourage you, if that makes sense.

  2. I am delighted, but also afraid.
    I’m afraid because frankly life is easier when I’m not held accountable for the many tasks I do, or don’t do. I have chores that are my responsibility but outside of the arrangement I’ve been able to get those chores taken care of on my schedule, not hers.
    Also, without the arrangement many of the extra things that were really only about her pleasure have drifted to the wayside, such as foot rubs.
    For obvious reasons this is where the excitement comes in, but the fear comes from past experiences where she stops caring or demanding or whatever the services and then there is the horrible feeling of being ignored or neglected, even though it may be her desire to just be left alone for a bit.
    The extra chores or hard work are a thrill when the extra attention is added, but as you know the let down is just as big when you feel that it’s all for you and not all for her.
    So, I’m very anxious. Excited, but nervous. I want it to work but I know how difficult it can be to keep everyone happy in this situation, myself included.
    We have plans to attend our private pool club tonight and that can either be social for us or private. I often prefer to get a table away from everyone else where we can just chat together, but many times we will see friends and they insist we sit with them. I’m hoping for a private table tonight where perhaps she can clarify some of her ideas for starting over tonight.

  3. Sounds exciting. My own WLM has been pretty quiet,but have seen some signs it may get more lively. Best of luck, hope dinner goes well.

    P.S. what device are you wearing?

    • A locking Gates of Hell which can be found somewhere earlier in my blog, but it’s late and I don’t have much time, so if you search a bit you can find a picture of it.
      Things have actually been a little tame but I failed to consider that it’s now Summer and the kids are out of school, so that has now added a new layer of complication to things, like my wanting to blog more.
      With the kids getting older I moved the PC into a more public area so we can watch them on it… of course now I have no privacy…

  4. Just found this blog and I am absolutely enjoying it! I went back to the archives and started reading from the first post 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing.

    I am a recently married and extremely happy wife, and I have reason to suspect that my marriage is a WLM. My Swedish husband was (like most of his countrymen) raised to treat women very well in the name of equality, but every few days, I do feel like our relationship is biased towards my wants and needs. I feel particularly awkward when this happens in the bedroom, because this is not what society has conditioned us to expect, etc. and I am hesitant to accept all the pampering, because I believe in relationships being “equal” and “fair”. I’m afraid to bring this up with my husband. I’m just not prepared to open what is possibly a big can of worms.

    For now I will continue to read your blog in attempt to understand why men would want to be in a WLM in the first place. Mindblown!

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