Mellow Valentine’s Day

We had a pretty mellow Valentine’s Day.  My wife knows I’ve never been a big believer in it.  I don’t need a special day to buy my wife flowers or treat her special.  I try to do that many times throughout the year.  To top it off our wedding anniversary is in the same month so it’s almost silly to have a “fake” holiday come anywhere close to what happens on our very special anniversary day.  Since we’ve already decided that our money will be better spent on bills and our kids school tuition for next year we are just treating ourselves to a hotel and dinner for our anniversary.  This led to us only exchanging cards (and hugs and kisses) yesterday.  Just the way it should be in my opinion.

Last week was a little more exciting.  During the snowstorm that has been rocking the country we lost power for a few hours.  It was late, the kids were in bed and my wife was feeling a little frisky.  I joined her under several blankets in bed wearing only my device as has been the case lately.  After warming up under the blanket (or just getting used to the cold) my wife pulled out her mini vibe.  As per her instructions I had bought and installed new batteries.  After a few seconds it became apparent there was a problem.  I could hear the high vibration rate slowing quickly.  Huh.

I took out the batteries and tried the last three from the six pack.  Same result.  I looked at the batteries and they did look a little “off” so I chalked it up to getting ripped off at the store with old batteries.

After a bit more snuggling I asked if perhaps she would like to substitute me for her vibe until I got more batteries.  She thought about it a moment and then pushed my head under the covers.  After a few minutes I heard, “I need some hard cock”.  Finally, I thought.  Finally I get out of the device and get to make love to my wife.  I lifted my head and started to get out from under the blankets.  Her hand quickly pushed my head back down.  Right.  Not my hard cock.  The dildo.  “Don’t stop, you’re my vibrator.  I like having a hard cock inside me when I use my vibrator”.

That put me over the edge.  I didn’t want to get out from under those blankets ever again.  I was totally lost in subspace as I licked her and the dildo together sending her over the edge.

After a few moments of cuddling I was dismissed.  I gathered the toys and got dressed as I strained against the rings of the gates of hell.  I left the room and went and thought about what an amazing wife I had.

I thought about how amazing it is that she has left me in my device and replaced my cock with her dildo.  I have no doubt this is temporary, so I am enjoying every minute of it.  I’m sure once I am allowed my next release in the next week or so (whenever we get to celebrate our anniversary, which won’t be the day we actually celebrate our anniversary… I know, very complicated) she will probably go back to what we were doing before and will want to use me more than the dildo.  For now it’s a lot of fun though.  I have felt so wonderfully frustrated.  I’m at day 45 of denial and my wife estimates day 50 will be the earliest opportunity for an orgasm but day 51 is more likely.  Of course, neither day is guaranteed if my wife isn’t feeling up to it.  This has totally blown away my previous “record” of 35 days which I’ve reached I believe four times.  Now I’m looking at over seven weeks of chastity.  What an amazing feeling I have right now.  I’m buzzing in anticipation… and subspace.

In the meantime, I bought some new batteries for the vibe and it’s doing the same thing.  Looks like it is just used up.  Yesterday I ordered her a new one of the same model as well as some “Dead Batteries” brand batteries and a backup mini vibe that is about the same length but is wider around and is wired to a remote that uses AA batteries.  The second vibe was on sale.  They were practically giving it away.  If only she would allow me to get a better chastity device.

A little bit of sanity just slipped past all the chastity fueled fantasy high and said, “be careful what you wish for”, before being bounced from my brain by a big, burly endorphin.

Money, cuddling, and blue balls.

I recently got a check from my father as a belated birthday gift.  It was very nice of him and a nice amount, $100.  You can do a lot with $100.  Unfortunately, most of the things that it would be best to use it on aren’t very much fun… car payments, mortgage, groceries, tuition…

Seeing as how it was a birthday gift, and I believe gifts should be special treats, I asked my wife if I could use the money on something fun or if it was going towards bills.  “You know the answer to that”, was her reply.  But in a moment of weakness she said she’d think about it.  Later on I suggested that we could take a little bit of the money and buy her a new dildo.  She responded that the one she has is fine and I let it drop.  Eventually she asked me if I had any special wish for the money and I told her that I’d love to buy her a new dildo, but other than that I’d love to buy a new device.  I told her about the cb3k being on sale for only $82 right now and that was basically half price.  She said that seemed expensive, but I pointed out that it was less than $20 more than my current device (which I mis-remembered, the current device was waaay cheaper).  Again she told me she’d think about it.  In the mean time she has gathered up my paycheck, my cash and the birthday check and is set to deposit them.  She was kind enough to leave me a little bit of cash, which she hadn’t been doing for a while (my dole she calls it).

Yesterday afternoon we had a little private time.  Wearing only the device, I got her toys and joined her in bed.  As she used her mini vibe she commented that it would need new batteries.  I asked her if she wanted me to go get them while she played but she told me it was fine for the moment.  While she played she had me warm up her dildo for her.  She seemed to really be enjoying herself, but eventually she just stopped and said she was too distracted.  After that we just cuddled and kissed and it was very nice.  At All Times just posted about cuddling as well mentioning how his wife appreciated the ability to just cuddle and kiss without it having to lead to something else.  My wife told me the same thing at one point as well.  On this occasion we both knew I wasn’t going to get anything any way, so for me it was so nice to just be able to hold her and kiss her even though she wasn’t going to be having orgasms.

While we cuddled we chatted.  I again asked her if she was sure she didn’t want to get a new dildo.  I pointed out that her current one was 17 years old and that it just seemed to be time for a newer model.  She is perfectly content with it, though.  Oh, well.

She asked me how my new edging regiment had been going.  The first two nights she has told me to edge myself five times.  I told her that unfortunately I hadn’t been able to make it to five times yet.  So far I had only been able to make it to three.  She asked me if I was waiting in between and I told her I was, but I am just starting this again and the length of time I needed to wait to edge myself a fourth time was long enough to basically go completely flaccid again.  She asked me why that mattered and I realized we hadn’t really set up any “rules” but I had somehow figured that once I was flaccid my time allowed for masturbation was done.  My wife thought that was a dumb rule.  If she wanted me to edge five times then I had to edge five times, even if I had to wait half an hour between edgings.  She did note that it was clearly difficult for me to do five edgings since we are just starting again and gave me the number three for that night.

With the thought of my less than stellar, under two minutes of endurance, performance recently I decided that it might be a good measure of my improvement to start timing the edgings as well.  Sadly, I haven’t really improved much yet at all.  I went from flaccid to my first edge in less than a minute.  All three edges were done in 2:47, and that’s including waiting 30 seconds between each edge.  Perhaps I should wait five minutes between each edging and start from flaccid each time.  I wonder how much of an effect that would have.

I’m pretty sure the timer had an effect as well.  I’m in such a submissive mind frame right now from the 38 days of chastity that my lack of stamina is a turn on and the thought of not lasting very long got me to the edge even quicker.  That doesn’t really help my wife out, does it?  Oh, well.  I’ll continue to work on this.  You would think suffering from blue balls all the time would be a better motivator.

Trying to figure out this chastity thing

My wife and I had a nice chat last night.  Most of it was about non-arrangement stuff, but still important to our relationship.  As the evening drew to a close, and her bed time drew near I brought up a topic that I have been unsure about lately… chastity.

Well, it wasn’t even that simple.  It was kind of a multifaceted question, maybe not even a question at all.  It was a bit difficult to put into words.  As I stumbled along trying to talk to her about it I realized I likely wasn’t thinking very clearly about it due to the five weeks of chastity that I’m currently at.   Anyway, I think the “question” boiled down to these series of questions.

First, if we could afford to get a long term chastity device, would she want to keep me locked up?  She has never locked me in my device, but has told me to wear it many times.  It became clear shortly after getting my current device that it wouldn’t work as a 24/7 device.  I explained to her that lately I’ve had a great desire to be more securely locked up and that it would be incredibly erotic for her to hold the key.

A possible problem with this scenario is that we have found that a lack of stimulation leads to a lack of performance stamina… I cum too fast when we have sex.  Not too long ago we came up with the idea of nightly forced edgings.  Each night she would give me a number of times I was to edge myself before going to bed.  Somewhere along the line she stopped doing this.  I didn’t want to start asking her because I didn’t want to aggravate her before bed.  And frankly, it made life more difficult, sometimes erotically, sometimes just painfully.  When I was edging myself every night I was generally suffering from blue balls more often, and it made going weeks between orgasms much more difficult.  When I wasn’t masturbating at all the time just seemed to fly by and going four weeks without an orgasm was no big deal.  I actually welcomed the nights where she would give me the number “zero”, meaning I wasn’t allowed to masturbate that night.

So, my the point I was trying to get across to my wife was, “which is it”?  I told her that I love chastity now more than ever, but admitted that it has evolved.  I pointed out that after only having 24 orgasms my first year of chastity I thought it was far too few.  Last year I only had 20 and I think it was far too many.  I told her that this year I think every six weeks would be ideal.  I told her that I would also like to do it locked up.

My wife understood what I was getting at and started working through it.  She enjoys the chastity as well, but it’s never been as important to her as a good fucking.  She thought the required nightly edgings had been working, but somehow at some point had forgotten about it.  She told me that she wanted to start the program back up and if she forgets at night to give me a number I should ask for one.  It might aggravate her a bit, but it’s less aggravating than not being able to fuck her.

I told her I understood, but times like the last time we were intimate were so exciting and erotic.  Unfortunately it was one of those things that is just difficult to explain.  But I liked that I could only fuck her for less than two minutes before having to stop, and that she had orgasms from her vibrator, my mouth and her dildo.  It soooo amazing!

Because of this I brought up other potential methods.  I know she has always had a dislike for condoms, but I thought perhaps it had something to do with oral sex or something like that.  I asked her about it and she flat out said “no” to them.  She actually just doesn’t like how it feels inside her.  She says its just an unpleasant feeling.  I then brought up the penis extenders that we had seen on RWDDH.  I pointed out that they wouldn’t really be about adding size, just decreasing my stimulation.

She told me she didn’t like the idea of a penis extender because it seemed “emasculating”.  I told her I wouldn’t consider it that, I know I have plenty of size.  She told me that frankly one of her favorite things about me since we started going out was that I had a big, hard cock that could give her a thorough fucking.  That was very nice to hear.  I decided to skip the possibility of my using a strap on after hearing that.

So what did that leave us with?  Well, she likes the idea of my not masturbating, unless it’s her who is telling me to masturbate.  She likes my not cumming, but doesn’t like when it interferes with her cumming.  She likes to be fucked by a nice hard cock, but apparently only mine, au natural.  She doesn’t like when I can’t fuck her like she wants to be fucked.

Hmmm… I don’t think we really got anywhere at all.  And looking back she never actually answered the question on whether or not she would actually ever lock me in a device if I had one.  Which was actually kind of my original question.

You know, earlier in the night I had asked her about our upcoming anniversary.  It is our tenth, so a pretty big deal.  I told her that I was really worried about gifts.  I can’t afford an appropriate gift and I wouldn’t want to upset her on such a special day by screwing it up.  She agreed and we decided not to get gifts since we can’t really afford it.

Now I think we should get her a nice new dildo, and me a cb3000 (currently half off at the Stockroom).  Nah.  That’s just the five weeks of chastity talking.

Still so busy, but things looking up

Well, it’s been a while between posts again.

Mostly life has just been hectic.  My wife and I are making a greater effort to not let it get us down, though.  There have been a couple of times where she has stopped and made comments about how rough a week was going to be on both of us and how we should try to not get to upset about it.  Basically I think she is just acknowledging that life can be just as hectic for me as for her, and that’s nice.

My partners and I are again working on a project that will take a few months and it’s taking up most of what would be my “free time”, meaning my time I would normally be cleaning the house, etc.  Because of this things are slowly (or maybe not so slowly) falling apart around the house.  This would usually stress out my wife even more but this time she understands that I am working myself very hard right now and unfortunately sacrifices have to be made.  I would rather be spending my time catering to her needs, but if my partners and I can ever get this ongoing project to succeeded it will be a much bigger boon to her than my vacuuming, and she knows that.

On top of this it seems like we haven’t been able to go a week without somebody, or all of us, getting sick.  I’m sure you all know how frustrating that can be.  When you get illness after illness it not only physically beats you down, it mentally beats you down as well.  I start to feel like I just can’t catch a break.  At least today I feel like I’m mostly over a sinus infection.

So, knowing all this I have been wondering about the infrequency of sex lately.  I know I’ve talked about this plenty of times before, but I would say that it really sets the tone for so many other things in our life, kink related or not.  Sex isn’t always just sex.  I’m sure part of the feeling of distance between us that my wife felt in December was due to a lack of sex.  Not that she “just needed to get laid”, but we were missing the intimate connection between lovers.  There is far more to it than that, but that intimate connection is a very fundamental part of sex, and if that is missing (no sex) than I think you feel disconnected.

Of course looking back I think that having more sex also created the desire for more sex in my wife.  And wanting more sex generally led to my wife being actively more dominant and I more submissive.  I’m not sure that my wife sees this, and perhaps we’ll talk about it, but the times where our WLM has been more exciting have been the times where we were having sex a few times a week as opposed to a few times a month.

Last month we had sex on New Years Day.  I was allowed my first orgasm of the year, but having just been allowed an orgasm on Christmas I was again starting to wonder about the orgasm control situation.  After that we didn’t have sex for over three weeks.  After bringing her to several orgasms she pointed out that it had been a long time since I’d cum.  She asked me if I would like to and I took the opportunity to request that she keep me waiting until our anniversary that was coming up.  She pointed out that it would be a long time between orgasms and I told her that I thought I could do it.  I actually expected her to possibly protest a little, or just tell me that she wanted me to cum, which she has in the past.  Instead she seemed almost relieved.  Her response was basically, “good, then we are done here”.  She rolled over to go to sleep and I left to do some work.

Then it hit me.  I was thinking I was asking to be able to wait for essentially six weeks, but I had forgotten one very important thing.  We had been talking that night about our anniversary plans and had decided to put off celebrating our anniversary for a few weeks to make it easier on us (thus more enjoyable).  If my wife chose to she might be able to keep me chaste for up to 9 weeks.  As exciting as that seems in my fantasy world, I was hoping for the closer to six weeks.

Perhaps things are turning around, though, as my wife and I had some kinky fun yesterday.  The kids were occupied with a movie and I had just gotten out of the shower.  She came in as I was just about to get dressed and started locking doors.  I understood her intentions and had to race against time to get my cock ring on.  I was barely able to get it on in time as my cock wasted no time getting erect.

She got into bed and I got her toys.  As we lay together kissing and cuddling she asked if I would be able to fuck her without cumming.  It was a nice bit of teasing on her part and I told her that the pressure from her leg against my cock had me close to the edge already.  She then reminded me that she really likes fucking a cock and at this point I was pretty sure that she intended to use me for as long as she could, and that if I came before her it was too bad for me.  On the one hand I understand that since this is about her that it is power exchange, but on the other I just really wished she would make me wait.

I wasn’t disappointed.  First she took out her mini vibe and started working on her first orgasm.  As she did so she rubbed her leg against my erection and seemed to take pleasure in seeing the reactions it got from me.  After she came she relaxed for a few minutes then asked if I thought I could give her the fucking she needed.  I told her I didn’t know that I could and she asked again, “are you sure” as she reached into the bag of toys to get the dildo.  Realizing I had been wrong and my wife was indeed being wicked I saw I was about to lose out on what has been a rare opportunity… fucking my wife.  I almost begged at this point, “I think I can last a few minutes.  Please…”.  My wife paused to consider, the dildo firmly in hand.  “Well, OK”, she told me.  She then spread her legs and gave me another wicked look that said, “this won’t take long”.  Sadly it didn’t.  Not that I was watching the clock, but it was right there for me to see and I lasted less than two minutes before I had to stop.

“OK, you’re done”, she teased as she picked the dildo up again.

“May I be allowed to go down on you, please”, I was again near begging.

She allowed me to, but her tone let me know that she was just being nice and doing it for me.  What she really wanted was a cock that wasn’t going to cum until she was done with it, and that was in her hand.  Knowing this I did my best to please her and was rewarded by her legs locking my head in place as she came again.

At this point I was done.  She had her fill of me.  Now she could finally get the cock she needed.  She spread her legs and pinned my cock underneath on of them so I couldn’t touch it.  She looked me in the eyes as she fucked herself with her dildo.  It was that amazing look she gives me when she gets off on the power exchange.  The look that says, I get to cum and you don’t, and I like it that way.  I hadn’t seen that look for a while, and perhaps part of the look she gave me was an, “oh, yeah.  Now I remember why we do this”.

As we lay together afterward, her completely relaxed and me shaking with desire, I decided to bring up our anniversary date.  After beating around the bush for a while (insert sexual pun here) I finally admitted that when I requested be required to wait until our anniversary for my next orgasm I hadn’t considered that we were putting it off for a few weeks and that I hadn’t really intended to wait that long.  She, of course, laughed at my dilemma but was kind.  She pointed out that the day of our anniversary was still the same so I wouldn’t have to wait.  Then she continued and pointed out that I wasn’t actually guaranteed to be allowed to orgasm that day any way.  As a matter of fact we weren’t going to see each other that day and we aren’t likely to have much time the following days.  So, she thinks my earliest opportunity will be at seven weeks.  She made sure to stress OPPORTUNITY.  Nothing is written in stone.  She seems to have rediscovered a little bit of her pleasure of power.

I hope she hold on to it for a while.

A Rough December

It’s been a rough month… more actually.  It really started a few weeks before Thanksgiving when our oven died.  That in itself wasn’t horrible, but since then things kept piling up until about 12 days before Christmas.  The day of my work Christmas party our kids were sick on top of all the other stress that had been building up and my wife had reached her breaking point and took it out on me.

She basically felt completely frustrated and alone and in the moment felt like our Arrangement was part of the problem.  She felt that because she was supposed to lead that I didn’t have to deal with all the stress an didn’t do anything unless specifically told to do something by her.  I acknowledged her hurt feelings and let her continue.  She then started into the sources of our stress and how she felt that I hadn’t done anything about any of it and explained all the things that she had done.

I began to feel hurt and angry.  She couldn’t see how much this stress was hurting me as well.  Instead of snapping at her I told her that she had a right to feel the way she did, but then gave her a different perspective.  I started with the oven.  Our old oven was small and wall mounted.  We also had an old, dying stove top.  When the oven died I suggested getting a range to replace the oven and stove top.  To do this I would have to do some work in the kitchen.  My wife ended up disagreeing because she didn’t have faith that I would follow through with the plans.  Instead she just wanted to update and replace what we had… until a salesman essentially advised that we do what I had initially suggested (without knowing I had already suggested it).  With that my wife changed her mind and we bought the range.

With my wife feeling stressed and depressed, however, she remembered it differently.  In her mind I hadn’t done anything until she decided to buy a range, order it and give me a deadline to have the demolition and other work done.  I gently reminded her of this pointing out that it wasn’t that I hadn’t done anything, it had just taken her some time to agree to what I had initially suggested and that I had done everything I had said I would do.  The project isn’t over by any means.  We had agreed that this would be just the start of a kitchen remodel that may take a year or two (since we don’t have the money to do it all at once).

Once she realized that I was right she relaxed a little, but I could tell she was now starting to feel guilty and that wouldn’t help anything.  I also gave her a different perspective on some of the other issues that had been causing us stress and then suggested what the real problem was.  I pointed out the problem wasn’t that she was “in charge”, or that I was “lazy” or any of those things.  The problem was that these issues were piling up and we were both very busy before Christmas and had no time at all to commiserate and deal with what was happening together.  She felt like she was dealing with it alone because she was dealing with it alone, or nearly.  I was dealing with it alone as well.  Hell, I was at work when I got the news that our son required a surgical procedure to correct his vision.  All I wanted at that moment was to be with my family, but I had to work.  In all the stress, and grief and depression my wife only remembered that I wasn’t there.  She didn’t remember why I wasn’t there.  That was secondary to her feeling alone to deal with the news.

When it was all said and done we both felt much better.  It was clear that my wife was relieved.  It also served to reinforce the idea that she doesn’t “lead” because of our Arrangement, but we came up with the Arrangement because for better or worse, the final decision is always hers.  It may sometimes feel like extra stress, but probably is no more stressful than when I make a decision for her and she has to second guess it and often disagree with it (at least initially).

Since that conversation things have been wonderful.  We still have all of the stress to deal with, but she knows she isn’t alone in it.  As a matter of fact she has relaxed enough to the point where her sex drive seems to have kicked in to overdrive.  This hasn’t exactly turned into more sex for me, unless you count cleaning her toys as sex… which I don’t.  Not that I’m complaining.  I enjoyed being in my device all day yesterday while she spent an hour in the afternoon by herself just “messing around”.  When she was done she joined me in the family room and hugged me, then cupped my caged cock while looking deep into my eyes.  It was a wonderful moment of power exchange.  Later that night, as she went to bed, I asked if I might be allowed to fool around a bit as well.  She replied, “Just for a minute… I don’t want you getting carried away”.

Having been allowed to orgasm Christmas day I would guess I’m done for the year bringing me to a total of 20 orgasms.  Four less than last year.  Oddly, at this point last year I felt like I wanted more orgasms.  24 seemed too few.  This time I feel like 20 was too many.  Next year I would love to wait six weeks between releases.  I think that would be HOT!!!

Latest talk

Well, the wife did something yesterday that she hasn’t done much of in the previous few months… use me for sex.  It was very nice, to say the least.  Afterwards I mentioned to her that when I wished her a “happy anniversary” last week she had mentioned we that we needed to talk about our arrangement.  I could tell at the time it was nothing too serious.  It just sounded like a “we haven’t talked about it in a while” type of thing, but we have both been sooooo busy (for a couple of months now it feels) that yesterday was the first time I could bring it up.

Basically she ended up apologizing for not being more proactive.  I, of course, told her it’s not about her having to do things for me, but she is far smarter than that.  She understands that the Arrangement has to be a two way street.  As she said, “lately you’ve been doing all the cleaning and working around the house and not having sex… if we didn’t have the arrangement it would be the same thing”.  Her point wasn’t that the arrangement is pointless, but if she isn’t involving herself in doing things than it is no different than not having the arrangement.  She of course brought up giving me assignments again, which she hasn’t been doing.  I again explained that it wasn’t supposed to be a chore for her, but her point of view is that it personalizes my regular cleaning routine, plus the things she sees that she wants me to clean I may not see.  The problem is she doesn’t seem to have time to give me the assignments any more.  Not that I’m not cleaning, etc.  She acknowledged my cleaning.  Her point is about her involvement.

She seemed to get a little down at times during the conversation, but pointed out, without any prompting from me, that she didn’t want to take a break or end the Arrangement.  She did say she was going to make more of an effort to be involved, which is a wonderful thing, and the conversation ended on a good note.

To lighten the mood a bit at the end I gave her some orgasm statistics.  For me to have the same number of orgasms this year as I did last year I’ll need to have one every four days for the rest of the year.  She laughed and assured me that wasn’t happening.  She did throw me for a loop when she asked what her stats were for the year.  I was caught off guard and pointed out that it was easy to count my few orgasms to her many, but (I’m a dork) she knows that I track both.  I commented that she is probably off her pace from last year a bit as we’ve had a couple of slow months this fall.  However, when I went back and counted she is actually right on track with last year (of course that’s a rough estimate as I never know exactly how many times she cums).

All in all it’s been a very good week.  Anniversary, her birthday, Thanksgiving, using me for sex… good times!

Everything is running smoothely… how boring

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted, mostly because everything is so “routine” now.  There hasn’t been anything new to write about for the most part.  Not that that’s a bad thing, just kinda boring.  The second anniversary of our Arrangement is coming up and everything is great, although a tad dull.  I’m sure it’s partly because it is now so “routine” and partly because I crave something new and exciting.  But I think my wife is also slipping back into her “I hardly ever want to have sex” mode that she occasionally enters.  It’s unfortunate that she sometimes feels that way because whenever she gets over it and ends up having sex several times in a week she looks back and regrets not having sex more often (and I’m sure she ends up feeling guilty about it).  Sure, I want to have sex more often as well, but I know it’s tougher on her than me.

Along with the lack of sex comes the lack of denial.  Of course this leads to one of those quirky, kink related paradoxes where although I was only allowed one orgasm in October it was the only time we had sex.  Therefore there was no orgasm denial.  Granted, it’s a technicality, but this is what I end up thinking about.  Hopefully this will change soon.  She went out of town this past weekend and the night before she left we made love.  After she came she told me I was allowed to orgasm as well but I had to do it in another room because she needed to get to sleep.  I asked for permission to wait, not because I was trying to control the situation, but because I can’t imagine having an orgasm that doesn’t in some way involve her.  I can’t remember the last time I sat alone in a room and masturbated myself to an orgasm.  It’s been well over two years, I know that much.  You’d think it would actually be appealing after all that time but it is the opposite.  The thought of it seems like a let down.  She told me it was OK for me to wait, but expressed that I had already waited a long time.  I told her it had only been four weeks and didn’t feel like a long time at all.  Again, just being honest, not trying to control the situation.

Something else of interest happened as well.  She nearly cried after her orgasm that night.  Yes, it was a pretty intense orgasm, but she told me it was so emotional because it was all from me, no toys involved or anything.  She told me she didn’t know I could still make her cum all by myself.

That comment created all sorts of interesting thoughts on my part.  Part of me felt like a stud and was proud.  The counterpoint to this should be that I would feel badly about her thinking I couldn’t do it without the help of her toys.  Of course I don’t.  I feel good about that too.  It’s nice that I can feel good about her thinking I’m a complete stud while also feeling good that she thought she needed her vibe to help her cum because I just didn’t have it in me anymore.

Well, I’ll leave it there for now.  We haven’t really talked about the Arrangement in a while and with our two year anniversary coming up we are probably due for a “State of our Union” talk.  It will probably consist mostly of both of us talking about how we’d like to do more but other life obligations keep getting in the way or just wear us down too much.  That’s alright, though.  It always feels better after we talk about it.