Took a little break

Sorry for the absence.  I needed some time off.

The past few months have been incredibly stressful and to be honest I don’t think my relationship with my wife was ever on rockier ground.  In the fantasy land of FLR it may be sexy when your wife berates you about money problems but in reality it sucks.  Not only that but she has always been supportive of the projects my partner and I work on and out of nowhere she seemed to turn against this pursuit of a dream career and blame financial woes on it.

These weren’t the only problems.  I had issues of my own.  I started having insecurity issues that I have never felt before.  One afternoon as we lay in bed together kissing she basically turned cold and turned and gave me an “it’s not you , it’s me” about not being interested in sex.  Normally that wouldn’t have been a problem.  I understand this about her.  We’ve discussed her libido together.  Not a big deal.  Only it was.  I told her that it felt like I was the problem because if we are in bed together, naked, kissing, she should be aroused by me, so it felt like I was the problem.

I know it wasn’t very nice, and I wasn’t trying to be mean.  She didn’t get angry with me for saying it because she could see how hurt I felt.  Nonetheless it clearly wasn’t “all for her”.

There were other issues as well (I really could write a big long post about it but I don’t want to be too negative) and adding it all up I just decided to let go of the WLM thing for a bit.  That didn’t mean that I started jerking off every day and stopped cleaning the house.  As a matter of fact, to an outsider things might not have seemed very different at all.  The only obvious sign was that I stopped kneeling at bed time when I brought her glass of water and medicine.  I think she took a break as well as she mostly stopped asking me to get things for her.  So, the framework stayed in place but we both just seemed to take a break from the obvious catering duties.

During this break I basically lost all sense of submissiveness and started wondering if it was all over.  Actually, at one point I was pretty convinced it was all over.  It is funny to think back a few weeks debating whether or not to masturbate to orgasm just to prove to myself it was all over.  Of course I didn’t, but at the time it didn’t prove anything to me.  Obviously if I’m not going to masturbate than it isn’t all over, but I couldn’t tell at the time.

Also during this break I stopped wearing my cock ring and/or device.  These are things I just like the feel of and so often wear them.  But I had absolutely no desire to.  That is until a few days ago.  This past weekend I decided to wear my cock ring to work like I usually do but haven’t been.  It felt so nice I decided to wear the device one day.  I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it, I was just going to wear it.  It felt so wonderful I slept with it on.  I know my wife saw it as I slept in and she got up, it’s pretty difficult not to notice through boxer briefs.  She didn’t say anything about it but that day it felt like we were connecting better.

Yesterday I decided to attempt to rekindle a “working” WLM.  After a shower I asked my wife if she wanted to fool around.  She was indeed up for some fun and was quickly undressed.  I stripped down to just the device and got into bed with her toys.  Seeing me in the device she commented, “I see you are in the giving mood today”.  I agreed that I was, but actually started regretting it.  I couldn’t remember how long it had been since my last orgasm, which was also the last time we had sex.  That, unfortunately, was on of the things I quit doing for a while.  Although I never started masturbating I had quit paying attention to my orgasms, or lack there of.

Anyway, after bringing her to her first orgasm she pushed me off to the side as she reached for her dildo.  I then asked if it was too late to change my mind and I was informed that it was.  Instead I was allowed to lick her while she got her fill of the dildo.

I was incredibly horny and shaking with lust.  I don’t remember it ever feeling so frustrating before.  In the past I have been so focused on chastity and orgasm denial that I usually wanted to be made to wait.  This was the first time in I don’t know how long that I just wanted to have an orgasm.

After she had her share of orgasms we lay quietly together.  I asked her if I could be allowed to masturbate a little.  I could not.  I then asked her if it would be OK if I took off the device.  Again I could not.  I guess I pouted a little and that is when she told me, “Don’t pout.  You wanted me to have a bunch of orgasms and I did and it made you happy.  You enjoy making me cum while you are denied”.  She wasn’t bitchy about it, just matter of fact.  And it is true.  Like I said I don’t remember it ever feeling so frustrating, but it is what I like and I’m glad she didn’t just cave and let me do what I wanted.  She took control and enjoyed herself knowing that I enjoy giving her pleasure, and that I also enjoy feeling controlled.

Hopefully this will help get us back on track.  Of course I forgot to set up her coffee last night.  Through our little hiatus I never forgot that.  Get me high on endorphins and BOOM, I forget the most basic things.

Oh, and by the way, I did actually mark down the last time I orgasmed.  I went to check and was surprised to see that I had recorded it.  It has been four weeks.  Thought you’d like to know.

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Some Thoughts

Well it’s week seven of chastity/denial.  I seem to have come out on the other side of the subspace that was week five.  I’m feeling mostly “normal” again.  The excitement of breaking my personal best has past and now I’m just looking forward to our little overnight get away coming in a couple of weeks.  There is the promise of an orgasm in my near future, but I won’t hold my breath.  I’m feeling pretty content right now.  We have had some pretty exciting sex over the last several weeks and I know more is in store.  I don’t have to feel anxious about a release as I know one is coming soon and I don’t have that weird “I wish I could wait longer” feeling because I’m feeling pretty good about having gone this long.  I think my wife has also seen how fun this longer term chastity/denial has been and therefore may feel more comfortable about it in the future and that’s an exciting prospect!

I think my edging exercises have been coming along pretty well.  On the one hand I have improved my staying power, but on the other hand it’s still not a very long time.  I’m fairly confident that ‘x’ amount of time masturbating actually will equal a longer amount of time of intercourse.  For one thing I’ve never been one to use lubrication while masturbating, and for another I haven’t really been able to distract myself while masturbating which is something I (as most of us) try to do during intercourse.  Hopefully this theory will hold up (insert sex pun here).

I do feel a little guilty, though.  A few nights ago she forgot to issue me a number of edges and I didn’t remind her.  The reason was that I’d had MASSIVE blue balls for two consecutive days after my edges and was glad to get a break.  I’m not sure how she’d feel about that.  I guess I’ll have to admit it to her this weekend.

One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is my wife’s comment to me about how she doesn’t want to “emasculate” me with things like penis extenders, which I mentioned would help my staying power.  Although we both agreed I don’t need the added size, she still feels like that would emasculate me.  I can understand this, but I’ve been wondering if it’s only the idea of the extender that is the problem and not the end result of hotter sex.  What has led me to wonder this is her enjoyment of keeping me in my device lately while talking about needing a hard cock.  Instead of using me she has used her dildo while I go down on her.  Isn’t that emasculating as well?  I think it’s slightly humiliating in a very sexy way.  I have really gotten off on how she has talked so dirty and sexy about fucking her “hard cock” while I am locked up and providing oral services.  How exactly is this different than my using basically an outer layer of dildo around my cock while I am making love to her?  Perhaps this is a conversation we can return to and she can think about in that context.

I would also like to once again give praise to the awesome service of JT’s Stockroom.  I ordered my wife’s new toys on Sunday which was Valentine’s Day.  Monday was of course a holiday so mail didn’t run.  Despite that I received my order yesterday.  What amazing service!  Thanks, Stockroom!

Mellow Valentine’s Day

We had a pretty mellow Valentine’s Day.  My wife knows I’ve never been a big believer in it.  I don’t need a special day to buy my wife flowers or treat her special.  I try to do that many times throughout the year.  To top it off our wedding anniversary is in the same month so it’s almost silly to have a “fake” holiday come anywhere close to what happens on our very special anniversary day.  Since we’ve already decided that our money will be better spent on bills and our kids school tuition for next year we are just treating ourselves to a hotel and dinner for our anniversary.  This led to us only exchanging cards (and hugs and kisses) yesterday.  Just the way it should be in my opinion.

Last week was a little more exciting.  During the snowstorm that has been rocking the country we lost power for a few hours.  It was late, the kids were in bed and my wife was feeling a little frisky.  I joined her under several blankets in bed wearing only my device as has been the case lately.  After warming up under the blanket (or just getting used to the cold) my wife pulled out her mini vibe.  As per her instructions I had bought and installed new batteries.  After a few seconds it became apparent there was a problem.  I could hear the high vibration rate slowing quickly.  Huh.

I took out the batteries and tried the last three from the six pack.  Same result.  I looked at the batteries and they did look a little “off” so I chalked it up to getting ripped off at the store with old batteries.

After a bit more snuggling I asked if perhaps she would like to substitute me for her vibe until I got more batteries.  She thought about it a moment and then pushed my head under the covers.  After a few minutes I heard, “I need some hard cock”.  Finally, I thought.  Finally I get out of the device and get to make love to my wife.  I lifted my head and started to get out from under the blankets.  Her hand quickly pushed my head back down.  Right.  Not my hard cock.  The dildo.  “Don’t stop, you’re my vibrator.  I like having a hard cock inside me when I use my vibrator”.

That put me over the edge.  I didn’t want to get out from under those blankets ever again.  I was totally lost in subspace as I licked her and the dildo together sending her over the edge.

After a few moments of cuddling I was dismissed.  I gathered the toys and got dressed as I strained against the rings of the gates of hell.  I left the room and went and thought about what an amazing wife I had.

I thought about how amazing it is that she has left me in my device and replaced my cock with her dildo.  I have no doubt this is temporary, so I am enjoying every minute of it.  I’m sure once I am allowed my next release in the next week or so (whenever we get to celebrate our anniversary, which won’t be the day we actually celebrate our anniversary… I know, very complicated) she will probably go back to what we were doing before and will want to use me more than the dildo.  For now it’s a lot of fun though.  I have felt so wonderfully frustrated.  I’m at day 45 of denial and my wife estimates day 50 will be the earliest opportunity for an orgasm but day 51 is more likely.  Of course, neither day is guaranteed if my wife isn’t feeling up to it.  This has totally blown away my previous “record” of 35 days which I’ve reached I believe four times.  Now I’m looking at over seven weeks of chastity.  What an amazing feeling I have right now.  I’m buzzing in anticipation… and subspace.

In the meantime, I bought some new batteries for the vibe and it’s doing the same thing.  Looks like it is just used up.  Yesterday I ordered her a new one of the same model as well as some “Dead Batteries” brand batteries and a backup mini vibe that is about the same length but is wider around and is wired to a remote that uses AA batteries.  The second vibe was on sale.  They were practically giving it away.  If only she would allow me to get a better chastity device.

A little bit of sanity just slipped past all the chastity fueled fantasy high and said, “be careful what you wish for”, before being bounced from my brain by a big, burly endorphin.

Money, cuddling, and blue balls.

I recently got a check from my father as a belated birthday gift.  It was very nice of him and a nice amount, $100.  You can do a lot with $100.  Unfortunately, most of the things that it would be best to use it on aren’t very much fun… car payments, mortgage, groceries, tuition…

Seeing as how it was a birthday gift, and I believe gifts should be special treats, I asked my wife if I could use the money on something fun or if it was going towards bills.  “You know the answer to that”, was her reply.  But in a moment of weakness she said she’d think about it.  Later on I suggested that we could take a little bit of the money and buy her a new dildo.  She responded that the one she has is fine and I let it drop.  Eventually she asked me if I had any special wish for the money and I told her that I’d love to buy her a new dildo, but other than that I’d love to buy a new device.  I told her about the cb3k being on sale for only $82 right now and that was basically half price.  She said that seemed expensive, but I pointed out that it was less than $20 more than my current device (which I mis-remembered, the current device was waaay cheaper).  Again she told me she’d think about it.  In the mean time she has gathered up my paycheck, my cash and the birthday check and is set to deposit them.  She was kind enough to leave me a little bit of cash, which she hadn’t been doing for a while (my dole she calls it).

Yesterday afternoon we had a little private time.  Wearing only the device, I got her toys and joined her in bed.  As she used her mini vibe she commented that it would need new batteries.  I asked her if she wanted me to go get them while she played but she told me it was fine for the moment.  While she played she had me warm up her dildo for her.  She seemed to really be enjoying herself, but eventually she just stopped and said she was too distracted.  After that we just cuddled and kissed and it was very nice.  At All Times just posted about cuddling as well mentioning how his wife appreciated the ability to just cuddle and kiss without it having to lead to something else.  My wife told me the same thing at one point as well.  On this occasion we both knew I wasn’t going to get anything any way, so for me it was so nice to just be able to hold her and kiss her even though she wasn’t going to be having orgasms.

While we cuddled we chatted.  I again asked her if she was sure she didn’t want to get a new dildo.  I pointed out that her current one was 17 years old and that it just seemed to be time for a newer model.  She is perfectly content with it, though.  Oh, well.

She asked me how my new edging regiment had been going.  The first two nights she has told me to edge myself five times.  I told her that unfortunately I hadn’t been able to make it to five times yet.  So far I had only been able to make it to three.  She asked me if I was waiting in between and I told her I was, but I am just starting this again and the length of time I needed to wait to edge myself a fourth time was long enough to basically go completely flaccid again.  She asked me why that mattered and I realized we hadn’t really set up any “rules” but I had somehow figured that once I was flaccid my time allowed for masturbation was done.  My wife thought that was a dumb rule.  If she wanted me to edge five times then I had to edge five times, even if I had to wait half an hour between edgings.  She did note that it was clearly difficult for me to do five edgings since we are just starting again and gave me the number three for that night.

With the thought of my less than stellar, under two minutes of endurance, performance recently I decided that it might be a good measure of my improvement to start timing the edgings as well.  Sadly, I haven’t really improved much yet at all.  I went from flaccid to my first edge in less than a minute.  All three edges were done in 2:47, and that’s including waiting 30 seconds between each edge.  Perhaps I should wait five minutes between each edging and start from flaccid each time.  I wonder how much of an effect that would have.

I’m pretty sure the timer had an effect as well.  I’m in such a submissive mind frame right now from the 38 days of chastity that my lack of stamina is a turn on and the thought of not lasting very long got me to the edge even quicker.  That doesn’t really help my wife out, does it?  Oh, well.  I’ll continue to work on this.  You would think suffering from blue balls all the time would be a better motivator.

Trying to figure out this chastity thing

My wife and I had a nice chat last night.  Most of it was about non-arrangement stuff, but still important to our relationship.  As the evening drew to a close, and her bed time drew near I brought up a topic that I have been unsure about lately… chastity.

Well, it wasn’t even that simple.  It was kind of a multifaceted question, maybe not even a question at all.  It was a bit difficult to put into words.  As I stumbled along trying to talk to her about it I realized I likely wasn’t thinking very clearly about it due to the five weeks of chastity that I’m currently at.   Anyway, I think the “question” boiled down to these series of questions.

First, if we could afford to get a long term chastity device, would she want to keep me locked up?  She has never locked me in my device, but has told me to wear it many times.  It became clear shortly after getting my current device that it wouldn’t work as a 24/7 device.  I explained to her that lately I’ve had a great desire to be more securely locked up and that it would be incredibly erotic for her to hold the key.

A possible problem with this scenario is that we have found that a lack of stimulation leads to a lack of performance stamina… I cum too fast when we have sex.  Not too long ago we came up with the idea of nightly forced edgings.  Each night she would give me a number of times I was to edge myself before going to bed.  Somewhere along the line she stopped doing this.  I didn’t want to start asking her because I didn’t want to aggravate her before bed.  And frankly, it made life more difficult, sometimes erotically, sometimes just painfully.  When I was edging myself every night I was generally suffering from blue balls more often, and it made going weeks between orgasms much more difficult.  When I wasn’t masturbating at all the time just seemed to fly by and going four weeks without an orgasm was no big deal.  I actually welcomed the nights where she would give me the number “zero”, meaning I wasn’t allowed to masturbate that night.

So, my the point I was trying to get across to my wife was, “which is it”?  I told her that I love chastity now more than ever, but admitted that it has evolved.  I pointed out that after only having 24 orgasms my first year of chastity I thought it was far too few.  Last year I only had 20 and I think it was far too many.  I told her that this year I think every six weeks would be ideal.  I told her that I would also like to do it locked up.

My wife understood what I was getting at and started working through it.  She enjoys the chastity as well, but it’s never been as important to her as a good fucking.  She thought the required nightly edgings had been working, but somehow at some point had forgotten about it.  She told me that she wanted to start the program back up and if she forgets at night to give me a number I should ask for one.  It might aggravate her a bit, but it’s less aggravating than not being able to fuck her.

I told her I understood, but times like the last time we were intimate were so exciting and erotic.  Unfortunately it was one of those things that is just difficult to explain.  But I liked that I could only fuck her for less than two minutes before having to stop, and that she had orgasms from her vibrator, my mouth and her dildo.  It soooo amazing!

Because of this I brought up other potential methods.  I know she has always had a dislike for condoms, but I thought perhaps it had something to do with oral sex or something like that.  I asked her about it and she flat out said “no” to them.  She actually just doesn’t like how it feels inside her.  She says its just an unpleasant feeling.  I then brought up the penis extenders that we had seen on RWDDH.  I pointed out that they wouldn’t really be about adding size, just decreasing my stimulation.

She told me she didn’t like the idea of a penis extender because it seemed “emasculating”.  I told her I wouldn’t consider it that, I know I have plenty of size.  She told me that frankly one of her favorite things about me since we started going out was that I had a big, hard cock that could give her a thorough fucking.  That was very nice to hear.  I decided to skip the possibility of my using a strap on after hearing that.

So what did that leave us with?  Well, she likes the idea of my not masturbating, unless it’s her who is telling me to masturbate.  She likes my not cumming, but doesn’t like when it interferes with her cumming.  She likes to be fucked by a nice hard cock, but apparently only mine, au natural.  She doesn’t like when I can’t fuck her like she wants to be fucked.

Hmmm… I don’t think we really got anywhere at all.  And looking back she never actually answered the question on whether or not she would actually ever lock me in a device if I had one.  Which was actually kind of my original question.

You know, earlier in the night I had asked her about our upcoming anniversary.  It is our tenth, so a pretty big deal.  I told her that I was really worried about gifts.  I can’t afford an appropriate gift and I wouldn’t want to upset her on such a special day by screwing it up.  She agreed and we decided not to get gifts since we can’t really afford it.

Now I think we should get her a nice new dildo, and me a cb3000 (currently half off at the Stockroom).  Nah.  That’s just the five weeks of chastity talking.

Sometimes vanilla IS kinky!

Well, it ended up being a pretty great weekend.  Of course, it was nothing like I imagined, which it never is.  I said at the end of my last post, “I’m really having a hard time keeping my mind from thinking about all sorts of deviant things, lol.  Oh, the possibilities!”.  Of course this was after explaining that I now understand that it’s best to try not to expect anything, that way you are less likely to be disappointed.  Well, I wasn’t disappointed, even if it would have been fun to do all the deviant things I was fantasizing about.

It turned out to be fairly vanilla, well aside from being told to clean the master suite so that it “felt like a hotel room”, and the pre-party orally induced orgasm my wife enjoyed while I remained in the device.  The device remained off the rest of the weekend, although the cock ring stayed on most of the time.

We had a good time at the party and got to know some new friends a little better.  I guess it’s not completely uncommon, but I was actually a bit surprised to see the two other husbands in our little circle we had formed serving their wives.  I usually don’t see too much of that at the few parties or events we attend.  We all sat around a table, but whenever a wife needed a drink the husband got up and got it.  Did a wife want something else?  Her husband attended to it.  It was nice to see.  I’m not implying this means anything, other than the husbands aren’t jerks.

Eventually we left and headed home.  Her toys had been left on my pillow, but as she had told me earlier in the evening while I went down on her, she would not be needing the dildo that night.  She told me she needed a “good, long, hard fucking”.  She did use her vibe a bit to get warmed up, then had me go down on her again for another orgasm.  Finally she told me she wanted me inside her and it was just good old fashioned sex.  It honestly was very much like the sex we used to have years ago.  I held her in the same ways and made the same moves.  After she came she told me I was allowed to cum and soon did.

The next morning we did something we haven’t been able to do for a long time.  We slept in and woke up and had morning sex.  It was very much like the night before, old fashioned sex.  The same pattern we’d had for years.  I go down on her, then we have sex, then she cums, and just like old times, she allowed me to orgasm again.

WOW!

I hadn’t had two orgasms in consecutive days since… when did I say I started doing this?  It was incredible!  As I lay next to her all I could think was, man, I could enjoy that feeling every day!  I mean, I used to enjoy that feeling multiple times a day!  I mean… Oh… My… God!  What have I done?

It was actually a very enjoyable self inflicted (well, I guess her telling me to cum a second time really induced it) mind fuck.  Yes, I thought about how insane it was to not cum whenever I wanted, but I’m not about to stop what we are doing.  I also know it’s a lot of fun to NOT cum.  Especially for weeks.  You can’t not cum for weeks if you are cumming all the time.

While sitting and watching football last night my wife asked me if I had fun over the weekend.  I assured her I did.  I appreciate that sometimes she just wants to get laid.  I don’t have any problems with that.  I’m sure she was a little worried that I’d be disappointed because she didn’t get all “domme-y” and keep me locked up while she used the dildo.  What is more important to me is that she gets what she wants.  Sometimes she wants it kinkier than other times, and that is great.  This time she wanted it in a very vanilla way.  What’s great about that is that it is so rare for us that it was exciting!  I’m sure she isn’t about to start letting me cum every day, so having that happen in a way could be considered incredibly kinky.  We were doing something “outside the norm”.

As a matter of fact it will probably be a lot more difficult these coming weeks as the memory of how amazing it is to have orgasms only hours apart.  Although I felt incredibly wiped out all yesterday, today I’m horny as hell and ready for more!

A new routine

Although I often mention our “talks” about our arrangement, we don’t really discuss it as often as it may appear.  Sure, we can openly talk about it, but it’s not like we do it all the time.  In between, though, when I’m not really sure how to talk about a certain topic, I send out feelers.  I make comments here and there and judge reactions.  I ask certain questions as well.  I need to do this to help figure out what is in my head.  Once I get things figured out enough I can have a conversation about it.

I realised last night that I think my wife is doing the same thing right now.  I think she is making a bit of an aggressive move and is sending out feelers to gauge how I’m dealing with it.  She has made certain comments and asked certain questions.  Nothing too obvious, but it seems to me she is making a mental leap herself and is trying to figure out how it is working in her own mind.

I mentioned in a previous post that she recently used me for oral services while keeping me locked in my device.  It was a fantasy type moment for me and I later told her that.  Since then she has repeated the scene several times.  She also told me during my last release that she found it incredibly sexy to know that my cock is bound while she has amazing orgasms.  She has mentioned it, or made implications about it turning her on a couple of other times as well.  The first time she said it to me I just assumed it was to get the reaction from me that it got, an orgasm.  She had made it clear that she wanted me to cum that night and after her orgasm she doesn’t generally like waiting around for me.  When she really wants me to cum she can generally make it happen pretty quickly.  So, I assumed the comment about how hot she thought me wearing the device while she used me was for effect, not necessarily true.  As I said, though, she has made the same implication a couple of other times.

A couple of nights ago we had a similar oral episode.  She was much more matter of fact about the situation to the point where after I got undressed and asked her if I should get her toys her response could have easily been summed up with, “Duh”.  It is a given at this point (apparently) that I am to bring the toys to bed when she is interested in sex.

As usual she started out with her mini vibe as I lay next to her.  When she was ready she had me go down on her.  After a while, lost in my own little world, I felt her slip in her dildo.  I moved my hand up to use it for her but she pushed it away and told me to “concentrate on my one job”.  I completely lost track of time as I flew through sub space while she writhed in pleasure.  Eventually she pushed me away and came down from her high.  When she could talk she turned to me with a smirk.

“I know you like to quantify everything, but I can’t tell you how many orgasms I just had.  They were continuous most of the time.  They could have been hundreds”.

I’m sure I was shaking visibly as I lay next to her.  I wanted to explode.  I didn’t want the moment to end.  It was the perfect moment where I have the feelings of “all I want to do is cum” and “the last thing in the world I want to do is cum”.  She eventually dismissed me from the room with the duty of edging myself four times before bed.

Last night, about 24 hours later, as we sat watching TV I noticed that my tongue, which had been sore all day, finally felt normal again.  I commented on this to my wife who replied, “Well that’s nothing.  Only 24 hours?”.  I replied that it must be getting used to the workouts.  At this point she tentatively asked me, “Did you have fun last night”?  With that question and some of her comments and implications I believe she really likes what she is doing and is doing it for herself, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t too much for me.  From the beginning she told me that she was a little worried about pushing me to far, something I assured her she couldn’t do.  Not that I can’t be pushed to far, I just know she wouldn’t be interested in any of the things that would be “too far” for me.  Anyway, it seemed pretty clear to me that she wanted to be sure that what she was doing was OK, that it wasn’t too rough on me.  Of course, as I said it is fantasy fodder for me, but it’s nice to know she is concerned.  It’s also nice to know that even though it’s fantasy fodder for me, it clearly something she likes as well, and likes so much that she felt it might be too selfish on her part.  A year and a half ago if i could have constructed a fantasy scene for us to play it would have been this scenario.  In fact, a year and a half ago she asked me to tell her some of my fantasies and I told her this.  I’m sure that knowledge was in her head the first time we did it.  I think she may actually have been surprised at how hot it was for her as well.  I think that’s why she was looking for the reassurance when she asked if it was fun for me too.  When we eventually have our next “talk” I hope she brings this up.  If not maybe I’ll ask her.

Speaking of quantifying…

I’ve been allowed 13 orgasms so far this year and not counting this month there have been 4 months where I was only allowed a single orgasm.  I told this to my wife last night and her response was, “and?”.  I replied, “nothing, just numbers” and stepped away from that land mine.