New Routine

Sorry for the long time between posts, but it’s been a busy summer.

My wife and I finally had a (short) conversation about her hinting at starting the Arrangement again and she basically informed me that it was a heat of the moment comment.  Basically, she’s happy the way things are but is enjoying the benefits of the power play in the bedroom.  In the bedroom it’s still “All For Her”.  Lately, it’s even escalated a bit.  I’m sure it won’t last, or at least will cool down a bit, but for now I’m enjoying it.

Essentially, of late I’ve become second fiddle to her big purple dildo, and I’m loving it!

It started one night, as usual, with her playing with her vibe before telling me to go down on her.  In my excitement I expanded my oral ministrations, so to speak.  Rather than be put off, as I was afraid she might be, she encouraged me.  This brought her several orgasms.  She then allowed me a chance to enter her.  I made love to her for few minutes before she again brought out the vibe and told me to stay still.  After another orgasm she informed me she was ready for “Big Purple”.  I excitedly slid out and presented her dildo.  I sat back and watched her and listened to her moan.  I, of course, don’t elicit such sounds.

As she continued to enjoy her orgasms she informed me that I can cum.  In my shock and joy I started stroking myself and in moments came on her thigh.  I immediately licked it off of her as she moaned in bliss.  When she was done she told me to clean up her toys as she left to clean up herself.

The next couple of times we made love it followed the same pattern, but most recently she seamed to focus even more on the pleasures of my tongue in its new territory.  As I licked her I (barely) heard her asking for Big Purple.  I paused to prepare it for her and slowly inserted it.  For the first time she took it all at once.  Before she had to slowly work it deeper over time.  This time it slid right in all the way to the big purple balls.  I continued to lick before she pushed me away and used her vibe.  I sat back and watched again as she enjoyed herself and told me how much she loved “that big cock”.

I leaned over her and kissed her and moaned with her and between orgasms she looked at me and asked, as if it had just occurred to her, “oh, did you want a chance”?\

“Yes, please”, I begged.  She slowly pulled out her dildo, moaning all the time and let me enter her.  I told her I wouldn’t last long, and didn’t.  I could feel how much the dildo stretched her and the thought put me over the edge.  As I rolled off her she put Big Purple back to work and brought herself to one last orgasm.

When she had come down she again told me to clean up the mess and went off to shower.

I love our new routine!

 

Steady Progress

Things have continued along at this same pace.  I think not having a set of rules (the “Arrangement”) is just right for now.  There are expectations, but no rules.  My wife seems to also be learning more about herself, her wants, needs, desires and limitations.  We were speaking last night about the difficulty she is having deciding whether or not to start a side business or even possibly two.  When I told her I would be more than willing to help her out she seemed a little more at ease and even a little excited at the possibilities.  But she also realized that she is terrible at making big decisions like these.  I pointed out several other instances over the years where she froze up the same way not to be negative, but to point out that her careful consideration is a good trait, but we have missed opportunities because of her hesitation.  It’s time to take a chance.  I told her that in the Art of War there is a saying that making the wrong decision is better than making no decision.  You can not win if you don’t try, essentially.  If you make the wrong move you can make another move to fix it.  She saw the logic and I think we are going forward on at least one of the two options (of course this could change any minute depending on her getting cold feet again).

For the most part I’ve continued to keep up with my usual chores and my wife has prioritized some of my tasks to her liking.  I guess that has replaced my old “Assignments”.  She also seems to be more willing to point out her displeasure when she thinks I haven’t been doing enough.

As well as things are going, and despite the fact that I’m trying to take it slow this time, I found myself once again in a selfish head space.  Last week my wife just wasn’t feeling great and all sexual advances were spurned.  I don’t believe I showed any negative reactions in front of her, but once again I let my feelings of neglect get the better of me one night.  Of course I felt guilty the next day and did my best to make up for it by doing extra jobs around the house.

But I wasn’t the only one left completely horny and ready for action.  This week my wife felt much better and told me to join her in bed Tuesday night.  I got her toys and while I got undressed she used her vibe on herself.  I laid next to her and she spread her legs, one thigh covering my growing erection preventing me from touching it.  I then went down on her and it soon became clear she was feeling more frisky than normal.  She began grinding on my tongue and soon was raising her hips until I was licking her bottom.  She pushed me away and told me she need a big cock inside her and grabbed her dildo.  I then licked her  and the dildo which sent her over the edge.  I knelt back between her legs and slowly stroke myself as she then used the vibrator and dildo together, all the time telling me how much she loved her big cock and how good it felt to get fucked by such a big cock.  She compared it to mine and told me mine was nice, but nowhere near as big.  She came multiple times all while talking about her big cock as I slowly masturbated.  When she was done she told me I could cum.  I was surprised as I hadn’t had a chance to enter her and I can’t remember the last time she allowed me to cum when I wasn’t inside her.

I asked if I could enter her and she considered it a moment.  She decided it would be ok and I moved above her.  As I entered her she continued to talk about the “big cock” and how it stretched her out and how she could barely feel me.  She continued to taunt me and asked me how it felt.  I told her I never felt her so loose and wet and she responded that it’s because the “big cock” made her cum so many times. The teasing continued until I came and she giggled.  She told me to take care of her big cock and let her get some rest.  She never referenced the dildo so many times and used to refer to it as the Purple Monster.  Now, apparently, it’s her “Big Cock”.

As I left the room my head was spinning.  She really blew my mind.  The humiliation was intense and obvious and I loved it.  I also realized she had originally not intended to let me fuck her at all.  She used my tongue, but the only cock she had was the dildo.  Although the feeling of being inside her was amazing I suddenly wished I had done as she intended and just masturbated to completion in front of her.

The next morning my tongue was so sore I could barely speak.  I was pleasantly surprised that even though we had amazing sex the night before I was again summoned to the bed room.  As usual she started with her vibe and then moved on to my already sore tongue.  When she was satisfied with my licking she told me that the “Big Cock” had worn her out the night before and that she was ready for my smaller cock.  I told her how sore my tongue was from the workout she had given it and she replied, “good”.  I made love to her slowly at first until she encouraged me to fuck her harder.  Of course I couldn’t last very long at that pace so she had me stop and had several more orgasms with her vibrator while I held still inside her.  She told me she was done for the night and I rolled off her.  She allowed me to masturbate a few minutes with the stipulation that I couldn’t shake the bed.  Knowing the futility of that I thanked her but left her to get her rest.

She never ceases to amaze me.

Another year…

So it’s a new year.

Last year was very difficult, but we got everything straightened out in our relationship and ended on a high note.  I ended the year with only 15 orgasms, which you think would be a good thing as I had suggested at the beginning of last year that perhaps I should be limited to 16 for the year, but, as I have previously said it was for all the wrong reasons.

Since our last talk my wife has become more aware of our intimate times and has made sure that even if she is “too tired” or “not in the mood” she makes herself available to intimacy in some way.  Maybe it’s cuddling time or just making sure to let me know that she is looking forward to the next time we are able to be intimate.  This has been very reassuring and has really helped put us on better ground relationship-wise.

I seem to have lost some of my submissive drive again, which does seem to ebb and flow, but I haven’t lost the desire for our dynamic, which is fortunate since my wife has made it clear that she prefers our arrangement and wants to keep it this way.  When we are in bed it’s easy to slip into the submissive mode, but other than that I’ve had to take a little more of a leadership role in the relationship and I think this was needed to help my wife out with day to day things.

This year has started pretty well.  Although money is still tight I’ve gotten some good news on the side business front and there is the potential for some extra cash to be coming in, but more importantly more doors have been opened for future business and possible investments in this side work (hopefully to become the new career).

Things have also improved on the Arrangement front.  My wife has made sure to keep me on my toes (although probably less than at our peak, but we are taking small steps).  I’ve been allowed one orgasm so far this year, but opportunities for sex have been rare (no fault of our own).

We did have a very exciting birthday night for me.  My wife summoned me to the bed room where she had been playing with her vibrator and had just brought herself to an orgasm.  I quickly stripped and joined her in bed.  We made out like teenagers for a bit before she told me she wanted me inside her.  I was a little slow to get an erection so she did something she hadn’t done in… I don’t know… seemingly forever.  She gave me oral sex for a good 30 seconds or so before I had to pull out of her mouth lest I go too far.

That was pretty amazing and I let her know it.  She found it amusing that I couldn’t last that long and teased me about it and about how rare it was that I would get more oral from her.  After composing myself I entered her and she encouraged me to some pretty hard screwing until I again needed a break.  She had me hold still inside her as she again used her vibrator to bring herself to several more orgasms.  She was so loud I worried she’d wake the kids.  She again teased me about how many orgasms she was having and asked if I could feel it (which I could).

She then pulled the old, “do you want to cum”?  Before I could answer she continued, “I know you do, don’t you…”.  As I groaned in response she followed with, “but you don’t want to either.  I know you want both and can’t decide, can you”.  I made some kind of affirmative grunt and she told me that she would have more fun if I had to wait.  She laughed and teased a bit more as I made a few more thrusts before having to pull out being so close to the edge.  I held her close as I trembled in the sub zone.

“Maybe we can have more fun tomorrow night.  Maybe you can fuck me with the big dildo.  Won’t that be fun”?

Again I grunted some kind of affirmative answer as I trembled and thanked her and told her how wonderful she was and how kind she was to me.

“Kind?  I think having so many orgasms and bringing you to the edge and not letting you cum is pretty mean, and I like that”.

Uggghhhh!  Heaven.

Perhaps I should be wearing the device today.  I haven’t done that in a while.

Being set straight

It’s been a long time since the last post.

As the title of the post announced, break time was over… or was it?

The stress and strain of real life continued and although I kept up with a lot of our arrangement rules I felt that I should let up a little as I felt that the arrangement only added to the stress on my wife.  It wasn’t entirely gone, but it seemed to be pushed to the back burner.

Yesterday i was informed that I was severely mistaken.

I asked if my wife would like some “us” time yesterday as the kids watched a movie.  I showered and waited for my wife.  I brought out the toys and put on my cock ring.  When my wife was ready she had me go down on her.  After her first orgasm she took a break and I told her I had put fresh batteries in her vibe.

“Good”, she replied.

She then brought herself to another orgasm with the vibe.

After that I asked if she wanted the Purple Monster.  She did.  She slid it all the way in.  My God that thing is huge.  She took it all with pleasure.  She told me to show her my cock so I got on my knees near her head and presented myself.  She then did what I had fantasized about for years.  She slowly stroked me to the edge while bringing herself to another orgasm.  As I shuddered in agony/ecstasy she told me to slowly fuck her with the dildo.

After several orgasms I asked if I enter her.  She let me and I lasted a few minutes before having to pull out.  She used the vibe a little longer and got herself off a few more times.  She then allowed me to masturbate for a few minutes.

While I masturbated she let me know she was disappointed in my service.  Not only that, but disappointed that I had apparently given up on the arrangement.

That is how deep we are into the arrangement.  Things that were once special are now normal, so to say that I had given up on it means that she expects more.

To be honest, though, I had let things go a bit.  As I said I felt like it was added stress to my wife’s life and also I was just feeling selfish and lazy.

My wife cleared this all up and told me how I have been disappointing her by not catering to her needs more.  In her times of stress with work and life I should be offering myself to her more, not less.  I should be asking how I can help her more and not relying on her asking me to do/get things for her.  I should be anticipating her needs and finding ways to surprise her or finding ways to please her.

Duh.  I can be very ignorant at times.  And selfish.  And lazy.

She continued on to tell me that she has seen a drop off  in service between orgasms and that I she thinks she has let me cum too often.

This is where this blog is going to start sounding like fantasy fodder.

Really?  I cum too often?  I’ve had 14 orgasms this year and one of those wasn’t really an orgasm, just an ejaculation.  I think this may be where she thinks I cum too often.  A few weeks ago while we made love she told me I could cum.  I felt the build up and told her I was going to cum and right before orgasm I told her it was gone.  I was baffled.  I didn’t know what had happened.  I told her I didn’t cum and she told me I had.  I pulled out and it was obvious I had ejaculated.  If it wasn’t for my obvious worry she probably wouldn’t have believed me.  It had been six weeks since my previous release.  To make up for it she let me orgasm a week later and asked, “was that  better”?

Anyway, I asked her what letting me cum too much meant (I’m guessing I’m done for the year) and she listed all the things she expects from me, including the fact that I missed our 4 year arrangement anniversary.

Aaaaahhhhh!

How is it that I missed it and she remembered?!?!

All this time I worried that she felt this was more about me and my kinks than her and her needs.  Instead this has become such an ingrained part of our life that she knows it’s about her and her needs and wants and not about what I think.

This post has been a bit of a ramble but my mind is just racing right now and I wanted to catch everyone up.  I’ll probably be posting more regularly.  Hopefully I’ll have interesting things to say and not just repeating what I’ve posted over the years.

Huh.  How about that.  This blog has been going for several years.

Break Time Is Over

Well, the summer break is over.  The kids have been back in school over a week now.  Yesterday my wife seemed to take a little bit of control over the situation and began to re-establish our arrangement.

Now, I know I said I was taking a bit of a break because of the kids being out of school, etc., but my wife has also been under a great amount of stress and the arrangement hasn’t been her highest priority.  So we’ve both kinda let things slip, and the break was probably timely.

Now, it’s not like all the rules were thrown out the window.  I wasn’t sitting around masturbating and letting the house get trashed.  No, I’m still at nine orgasms for the year.  The house did get a bit messier, but in general all the rules were still in place.

Anyway, I recently purchased a new dildo for my wife.  Her old one is 16 years old and was a jelly dildo with a vibrator part on the end.  The vibrator broke years ago so the last third of the dildo was just an empty battery housing inside the dildo that often fell out.  So she really deserved a new dildo.  I had gotten a coupon for 1/2 off from Adam & Eve so I went for it (actually after checking with her).  She let me choose what to get her, however.

I remembered the look in her eyes when we were “window shopping” on the internet and she saw some of the bigger models.  I know I posted about it in the past, but I can’t find it now (here it is).  Anyway, at the time I asked her what size she would want if I got her a new one and she said, “Your size”… then continued, “nothing smaller”.

Right.  Nothing smaller, but bigger is OK I guess?

Long story short, she now has a purple jelly dildo that is 8″ long from the base of the balls and 6 1/2″ in circumference.  She has dubbed it the “Purple Monster“.

Yesterday we had some private time together.  I put on my cock ring and took out her toys.  Having a small collection we have been keeping them in an old Crown Royal bag.  It was just right for the old collection.  Now it has a large set of dildo balls hanging out of it.  Anyway, I spread the toys on my pillow for her and we kissed and held each other for a bit.  Then she pushed me down and put me to work.  After her first orgasm she asked if I could fuck her.  I asked if I could try and she let me.  I didn’t last very long and she had me stop.  She then contemplated her choice of toys.  She grabbed the new dildo and inserted it.  “I don’t think I can get it all in… yet…”, she sighed.  She then grabbed the larger of her two bullet vibes and a look of pure bliss was on her face as it did it’s job.

I trembled as I watched her.  I tried to control myself from thrusting against her leg, I wanted to cum so badly.

When she was finished she allowed me to enter her again.  I was in heaven as I slowly made love to her, but again only lasted a minute or so before telling her I was ready to cum.  I had foolishly assumed that I would be allowed to orgasm as it had been three weeks since my last and it seems like she had been letting me orgasm whenever we made love lately, which sadly has not been often.

“You’re going to have to wait”, she told me as she gave me the tap letting me know she was done.  I asked if I could go down on her again and she replied, “No, thanks.  I came on your face once and on the Purple Monster two times.  I’m good”.

Wow.  She has never put it that way before, “I came on your face”.  It sent shivers down my spine hearing her talk to me like that.  She then told me that she liked the new dildo, but that it would take some time to get used to the size, since she was only used to my size.  I don’t think she intended any kind of slight, but it was just enough to give my humiliation kink a tweak.  She also suggested I find a new home for her toys and suggested that I give the “A team” (Purple Monster and large bullet vibe) a separate home from the “B team” (old dildo and small bullet vibe).  The B team has served her well over the years, but she now has a nice big new fake cock and a bullet vibe that puts out some strong vibrations.  The B team isn’t being retired, just being benched for a bit.  They are the back-up.

The rest of the day was very relaxing and fun.  We had a family movie night before getting the kids ready for bed.  As my wife put away the leftovers from dinner and I cleaned up she asked, “When are you going to bleach the sink?  And the floor needs to be mopped… you are slipping”.

Clearly the summer break is over.  Time to get back to being a good house husband.

Selfish and Lazy

I haven’t been posting very much these last few months, but I have been following other blogs and I’ve been commenting more lately.

There has been a conversation conducted through several blogs that I find very interesting.  The conversation started with the idea that the longer we blog the less we post about kinky things.  In my own experience I think I post less about kinky things because what was once kinky (being told to mop the floor, clean the toilet, etc.) become routine after a while.  Sure, when I first started doing it I couldn’t wait to blog about how I mopped the floor and had an erection the entire time thinking about how I was cleaning and my wife was relaxing.

This doesn’t mean I’m unhappy, just that it’s not really news any more.

Lady Grey has taken the conversation to the next level in her latest post and having thought about this for a while I’ve discovered something about myself.  I’m being very lazy.

I know some of the agreements made in our Arrangement are not being lived up to and my wife, being busy with her career and being a mother and a wife, is not enforcing the rules.  I recognize this and I’m OK with it… for now.

Lady Grey points out that the staleness that sets in is mostly the result of the wife being lazy and not changing things up or enforcing the rules.  This is true.  But I am VERY guilty of letting her do this.  Why?  Well, as I said, I’m being lazy.

If I were to point out to her that she is letting me get away with keeping a messier house than she is used to she might make me work harder.  Right now I don’t really want that.  So I’m being lazy AND selfish.  I admit it.

Frankly, hanging out at the pool with the kids is more important to me right now than making sure the house is spotless.  And with the kids out of school keeping the house clean with them in it is nearly impossible.  While I clean one room they are usually destroying another.  The first couple of weeks of summer break nearly gave me a breakdown.  That’s when I just accepted I couldn’t keep up with the work and embraced the laziness.

At some point my wife saw how much stress I was under and made some suggestions as to what might help.  Unfortunately the only thing that seemed to work was to just accept that I was beaten and to not stress out that the house is messy.  My wife told me that I needed to figure something out because that wasn’t really acceptable.  My reaction to this is to get her to the pool with us as often as possible, preferably with a margarita in her hand.  If she isn’t in the house she doesn’t have to see it’s messy.

Too soon the pool will be closed, but with that the children will be back in school.  Then my wife and I can have one of our chats about our arrangement and we can get back on track.

Until then I’m going to be lazy and selfish.  I’m going to enjoy playing computer games at night instead of mopping the kitchen floor.  I’m going to enjoy watching cartoons with the kids.  I’m going to enjoy hanging out with friends and family at the pool.  I’m going to enjoy my wife sending me to the bar to get her drinks in front of our friends.  I’m going to enjoy the chastity and orgasm control she has over me.  I’m going to enjoy the knowledge that I’ve only had seven orgasms this year.  I’m going to enjoy giving her countless orgasms whenever she wants….

Whoa!

There I go getting kinky again!

Yeah.  I’m just selfish and lazy.  But the summer is halfway over.

Where I’m at

When I started this blog it was to help me work through all the new feelings I was discovering and to relate to people with similar inclinations.  I had realized that I didn’t like when my wife had sex with me because she felt like it was her “wifely duty” and that I much preferred to just give her an orgasm and be left without one myself, than to give her an orgasm and then have her feel like she is obligated to return the favor, even when she would prefer to just roll over and go to sleep.  In the process I also realized that we had been living in a vanilla, but very real Wife Led Marriage.

As my wife came to accept this fact and later embrace her roll as leader of the household we ventured into some kinkier territories.  This was a boon to our sex life, which at that point, after 14 years together, had become pretty routine.  Now it is ANYTHING but routine.  Unfortunately, over the last six months or more it has hardly existed at all.

In the midst of all the kink and hoopla of living a WLM I firmly believed that it was “all for her”.  As my wife and I worked through the many paradoxes of power exchange kink and other issues involved in the WLM we came to understand that while she may be the prime focus it just won’t work unless we are both getting something out of it.  This understanding has led me to where I am today.

Where is that?  Well, it’s led me to feel pretty selfish about a lot of things.  It’s led me to do a lot less for my wife than I have over the past few years.  It’s led me to nearly telling my wife that it just wasn’t working any more.

There is a catch, however.  My wife has made it clear that this is the way things are now.

I have to admit that there are probably two main reasons for my change of attitude.  First would be the lack of sex.  Sexual power exchange is clearly important to me in our WLM and when it’s lacking I feel like something is missing from my life, which I guess it is.

The other reason is that the company my partner and I have been working so hard at becoming self sustaining and profitable requires me to be an Alpha male and it’s hard for me to switch back to a submissive mode when I get home.   Perhaps that works for some high powered executives (if we are to believe the stories) but it doesn’t work to well for me.  Submissive in sex, sure, but it hard to go from running a company and being in charge to scrubbing a kitchen floor and cleaning out the bathroom.

The stress of my wife’s work and the financial stress on both of us also led to my wife being less “dominant” as well, and she recognized this.  But that didn’t mean she doesn’t fully put herself first, unless it is her desire to put me first, which on occasion does happen.  She did try, however.  There have been too many instances where I would catch her saying, “damn, I missed a good opportunity to use my power over you”, or other things of that nature.

The last month or so has been a little different.  She really seems to have stepped it up.  She has been much more demanding of me and has once again used her ability to relax and have me cater to her.  A month or so ago she used me for some hot sex and had multiple orgasms while leaving me wanting.  This past Thursday night she used be for some sex, but kept telling me how she wanted to get a “good, hard fucking”.  She kept teasing me asking if I could do it knowing that I just can’t anymore.  Instead she used my mouth and her dildo to get off.  Eventually she climbed on top of me and verbally teased me until she told me to ask her for permission to cum.  I did and she thought about it before telling me I could (once again waiting nearly 5 weeks between orgasms).

Saturday before I left for work she stopped me and told me I hadn’t sufficiently thanked her my orgasm Thursday night.  She wanted me to give her several more before I left for work to show proper appreciation.  She again reiterated her desire for a “good, hard fucking” and asked me if I could do that for her.  She of course knows the answer and after a few strokes I have to withdraw and orally please her.  She then told me to watch while she brought herself several more orgasms with her toys.  I’m sure she really does want a good hard fuck like I used to give her, but she seems to find it amusing as well that I’ve become a “two pump chump”.  It is a nice erotic humiliation, but frankly I miss the days of feeling like a stud as I would bring my wife multiple orgasms with just my cock.  I think that would take regular masturbation again and since I’ve broken that habit I just don’t really think about it anymore, except the occasions where my wife will tell me to edge myself a few times before bed.  Even then I don’t last very long.  After our Saturday fling she asked me if I thought edging myself a few times that night would improve my stamina for Sunday.  I told her it would likely make no difference at all, and at this point may even decrease my stamina.  She again informed me of her desire to be fucked hard.  All I could offer was to use the dildo on her.  Her reaction could be summed up with, “if that’s what it takes”.

As I left for work I kissed her and thanked her for my orgasm on Thursday.  I also told her it was my seventh for the year.  She gave me her wicked little smile and said I was lucky to have a wife who gave me what I wanted (fewer orgasms).

Yes, it was a “careful what you wish for” moment.  As I’ve said, lately the WLM is not really doing it for me.  Kinky sex?  Sure.  All the rest… hmmm… not so sure any more.  I guess if the kinky sex keeps up it will help me get back into the right frame of mind.  But as I left for work Saturday with an erection that wouldn’t go away I really wanted an orgasm.  I can’t remember the last time I wanted an orgasm more than that.  But my wife left me with the reminder that it would be many weeks before I got another opportunity, and in that time she was planning on having many more herself.

I certainly hope so.