Obsessing

I can’t stop obsessing about the WLM today.  Sure, I’ve been obsessing about it for months, but today I just can’t stop thinking about it.  I think a good part of the reason is that not only am I excited about it, but last night my wife seemed to be excited about it, and excited about getting to spend time together as well.

In the very short time we had last night between her coming home from work and my leaving for work, she was able to really push my buttons.  And she did it with such ease!  It was just a few small things, but they really got me going.

First, while she was changing out of her work clothes and we were talking, she handed me her shirt to hang up.  She didn’t say anything, she just handed it to me as if it were nothing.

Then, as we left the bedroom to head to the kitchen she asked me to get her shoes.  I got them out of the closet and put them at her feet.  She politely asked me to carry them to the kitchen for her, which I did. 

Next, as we were getting dinner ready, she took out a wine glass and put it on the counter and didn’t say anything.  It was implied that I would open the bottle of wine and pour her a glass.  Before we sat down to eat she handed me the glass and said “refill, please”.

 These were all such small things, but they each packed a wallop!  She wasn’t hesitant about it and she didn’t seem to feel awkward.  It appeared as if she were totally comfortable in doing it.  And that is really the greatest part of it all.  Not only am I getting my jollies, but it really seems like she is enjoying it as well.

So, why wouldn’t I be obsessing today?

So, I’ve been working on a list.  Not a list of rules or anything.  I guess it’s really a list of things I’d like to talk to her about.  Things about a WLM and what we would like out of it.  It was pretty easy to come up with things I’d like to get out of it, and it’s clear that she needs to be getting things out of it.  But is there something in particular she would like?  Is there something about me that perhaps she would like to tweak (no pun intended)?  I hope we get a chance to talk about it tonight.  Once we know what boundaries there are, if any at all, then I think it should be fairly smooth sailing as long as I don’t rock the boat, lol.

On a separate note, thank you so much to everyone that has added me to their blogroll.  Over the last week or so the number of people checking out the blog has grown a lot!  Thanks to everyone who has left comments, and everyone else, please join in.

Assignments

That’s what she’s calling them.  Which is pretty cool.  She’s creating her own terms for things.  So far the assignments have been pretty easy, clean up this little spot, straighten out that area a bit, that kind of thing.  She called me from work this morning to let me know what she wanted done today.

“Today’s assignment”, she announced (and I immediately got excited) “is to clean up the guest bathroom”.

Now, not only is this a much larger job than she has given me so far, but I love the fact that she called me to give me the instructions and described it as my “assignment”.  I don’t have any idea why it makes me get an erection, but it does.

I’m in the middle of cleaning it right now but I’m taking a bit of a break as she just called to let me know how her meeting went that she had been very stressed about. 

I have no idea how this tiny little bathroom got so trashed.  It’s hardly used!  However, my wife does use it in the morning while getting ready for work (as well as the master bath) and it is completely covered in her hair.  I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to clean the shower stall today, though.  If I had started right when she called me I probably could have, but of course I didn’t.   I still have my regular everyday chores to do plus get ready for dinner and rush off to work.

So, I guess I should wrap up this little break and get back to my assignment (yay).

Expounding on expanding

I noticed yesterday that we seemed to be running short of some groceries that we would need today, so I figured out a list and emailed it to my wife at work.  At her old job I would have just called her, but she doesn’t get good reception in her new office.  So, I sent an email and prayed it wouldn’t be too distracting to her. 

I wanted her opinion on whether she should just stop on the way home and get the couple of things we would need, or perhaps the whole list, or should I go after dinner.  She made the executive decision that I should go after dinner so that we could figure out some menus for the week as well as get the right coupons (I still need some help there, lol).

Anyway, it came time to go to the store and she told me I didn’t have to go, that it could probably wait, etc.  I told her I did need to go because I didn’t want to listen to the kids fighting over the last apple again.  So I went and it wasn’t a bad shopping trip at all.  Also, my wife brought some work home that she did while I was gone, so we didn’t really lose any “together” time.

She made sure to thank me profusely to which I told her she didn’t really need to.  It was my pleasure.

Later in the evening as we were relaxing and chatting before bed I decided to take a bit of a chance and try to explain the boundaries of our new dynamic a bit.  I really was afraid I was pushing it, but I also felt it was a good time to try it.  So, I tried to explain that she should really expect me to do things like go grocery shopping after she gets home from work.  She wasn’t quite sure what I meant, so I continued on explaining that maybe sometimes it would be better if she stopped, but she should put what she wants first and if she would rather not stop then she should expect that I’m the one who is going to go.

Apparently this really hit a note with her as she had a mini-explosion of a rant about how she never wants to stop at the grocery store after work.  She’s been working all day, her feet hurt, there are long lines, the store is packed, it’s a pain in the ass, etc…

She then seemed to have a revelation and a strange smile came over her face.  It’s kind of funny, but that look made me a bit nervous.  Part of me hopes that she really gets it, and part of me is a bit afraid she really gets it.  I hope I’m strong enough to handle what I’m wishing for.

Happiness

Things have continued to move along nicely if slowly.  Man, it is difficult to not run around and pester my wife with questions of what I can do for her and asking her to give me jobs, lol.  She is still getting used to the whole idea, I think.

For example, if I offer to get her something she often responds, “there’s no rush, next time you are up” or something of that nature.  It’s because she is a wonderful and polite person.  Of course, I’d prefer if she just look at me and say, “go get me some water”, but I understand that it doesn’t come natural for her to do that… yet.  On the other hand, Sunday morning she did ask/tell me to go get her a newspaper.  But mostly it has just been small things, and I appreciate every one of them.  It’s so nice to know that the things she says and does are intended and not my imagination or wishful thinking, as they usually were in the past.  There is no stealth to it anymore and that makes all the tiny things so much better.

What I have been pleasantly surprised by is some of the comments she’s made in front of friends.  I don’t think it’s anything our friends would find too out of place, but they have been more like inside jokes between us.  Not that they were jokes, just that we understood there was more to what she said than what they may have heard. 

Well, I would love to list all these little things that have made the week so special, if for no other reason than to enjoy them again, but I have been given some chores to do today (yay!). 

She’s in!

Well, it’s official!  Still in the early phases, of course, but I talked with my wife last night to and she seems to understand the dynamic I’ve been looking for.

“It’s a win-win situation”, is how she described it.

Now, I understand that she isn’t going to come home from work and start barking orders at me, but I she understands that I desire to serve her and spoil her however I can.  It’s clear that it’s taken a while, but she assured me that she’d been picking up on what I’ve been trying to do.  Her only concern was that she would go too far with it and upset me.  I have assured her that that is highly unlikely, but agreed that once the kids are asleep, anything goes.  I assured her that I would try not to get too weird about things and creep her out and for her to let me know if I was coming on too strong or anything else.

It was really a great conversation, and I’m not sure why it was so difficult to talk about.  I guess because I didn’t really have a grasp of what I wanted before, or how to make it work.  Once I thought about it from purely a sexual standpoint it made broaching the topic easier.  Basically I pointed out to my wife that we used to talk much more openly about sex and were more adventurous.  Granted we’ve been together a long time and we are getting older, but for the last 6 or 7 months the sex has been UNBELIEVABLE!!!  So, I suggested we talk about it more and maybe try things we haven’t done in years.  I asked her if there was anything she wanted to try and she thought about it a moment before saying she would have to think about it.

I was also able to describe my desire to serve her from a sexual stand point, although I was a bit nervous about it so probably didn’t use the best words.  Well, I definitely could have phrased it better…  As I put it to her “I get off on getting things for you” or something like that.  Not the most eloquent thing I’ve ever said. 

Another thing I was able to explain, and in a way even work out in my own mind, was orgasm control.  Now, I didn’t say “orgasm control” or anything like that, but what I was able to do was introduce the subject in a way that made sense. 

I explained that when we first met I was probably masturbating 4 times a day and still could go all night when we were together.  Unfortunately that isn’t the case anymore.  Now, if I masturbate once I pretty much kill my sex drive for the day.  So, I quit masturbating for the most part.  As I thought about it I couldn’t believe it myself.  In the last six months I may have masturbated to orgasm only 5 or 6 times.  I explained how this really turned me on and kept me able to focus on her and her pleasure.  I think I was able to help us both understand that it’s not that I don’t want orgasms.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  However, if I limitthem it’s better for both of us.  Saying it out loud like that really helped me get a grasp on it as well.  Now, I pretty much left it there for now.  Hopefully some time in the future she can take a more active role in the control of my orgasms.  I recently read on another blog (sorry, I can’t remember which one) about using a deck of cards to determine whether or not the husband gets to cum.  The idea is that it takes the pressure off of the wife to determine when he can and can’t, and makes it a game.  The reason I like this the best is because you can change your odds.  Let’s say it’s only been a few days.  Well, you could say “if it’s a face card you get to orgasm”.  If it’s been a couple of weeks you could instead say “any card except clubs”.  That could be fun.

I think the most important result of the conversation, however, was that it really seemed to take away all pressure or nervousness.  We both seemed much more at ease later as we made love.  She knows that I want to do whatever I can to give her pleasure, and that I understand that sometimes it will be better than others.  I assured her that when she knows it’s not going to work for her, then I don’t want her to feel obligated to perform.  She told me that there were times where she felt she needed to do her “wifely duty” even when she wasn’t into it.  I told her that she never has to worry about that again.  She doesn’t need to “put on a show” for me.  So, the sex last night was just totally relaxed and awesome.  She just let herself go and ENJOY the feelings without worrying about me, and I let myself go and gave myself to her without worrying that if I cum too soon or do anything else it won’t turn her off.  It was very liberating, I think.

Now, I’m not going to get all crazy just of this talk, but I think it will definitely open things up a bit.  I can’t wait to see where it leads us!

And another step…

So, since the other night I’ve been a bit nervous and excited, and yesterday my wife said something that upped the ante.  We were getting ready for dinner, and the kids were playing in the kitchen and making a mess.  I looked at the floor and commented that it was pretty gross and that I should mop it.

“It’s funny you mention that,” she said.  “Tomorrow I was going to give you the choice of what you wanted to do, mop the kitchen floor or scrub and clean the shower.  Since you said that I guess you can mop the floor tomorrow.”  She paused a moment before adding “and the next day you can scrub the shower.  Wasn’t that a great choice?”

I immediately spiraled into a blissful state and went over to her and told her that those were the kind of choices I loved.  She looked at me and said “I know”.

I’m so happy!

In the last few weeks it really seems like she’s taken some big steps in being more open to a WLM, or even just to being a bit more dominant.  I’m finding it difficult to not get over eager and go over the top and get too “weird” about it. 

My GOD what a wonderful wife I have!

Eureka?

So, the wife and I had a great night on Friday.  It was really nice and relaxing.  We sat around the fireplace with a nice fire going, and had some drinks, and listened to music, and talked.  It was really great.  I was feeling pretty randy and had told my wife earlier in the day that I was going to “jump” her later.  I thought she would appreciate it.  Really.  I thought, well, I haven’t been too aggressive lately.  I bet she’d like it if I was totally dominant in bed tonight.  I’d hold her hands above her head… etc…  So, I was kind of taken by surprise when we got to bed and she (things are a bit fuzzy here) suggested (I think) that I just go down on her.  SURE!  Yay!!! 

It really was a wonderful experience.  I wanted to take my time and make sure she wasn’t feeling rushed, so I payed plenty of attention to fore play.  I wanted to kiss and touch and rub… 

It soon became clear that she wanted to get to business and the kissing was probably great and all but what was I still doing “up here”.  So, I sank further into the awesomeness of subspace as I went down. 

She started telling me what she wanted, but soon pretty much just had me hold still with my tongue out as she got off on my face.   YAY!!!  Oh, I was in heaven!

And when it was all over, she seemed to come to a realisation.

“So, I tell you what to do, and you do it…”  I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.  I was blissed out, so it’s hard to be sure.  But I’m pretty sure that’s what she said… right before she told me to go get her some water.

I asked her about that again today, without pushing too much, in case she was a bit self-conscious about it, and she responded, “it sounds like a good plan”.

EUREKA!

 At least, I hope…

On the other hand

Maybe I was a bit quick with something I posted the other day.  I mentioned that perhaps I was getting off a bit on “humiliation”.  Well, upon further review, I think the excitement came from that instant, not the general idea.  Later that night I made love to my wife, and I just couldn’t last as long as I usually do.  I slowed and stopped several times, but I had been so excited the previous few days that I just couldn’t hold back.  The first time I told my wife that I was close to orgasm, she asked if I needed to stop.  I did for a few seconds, then started slowly again.  Too soon I needed to stop again.  The next time I got close it was too late.  I told her I was cumming and had an amazing orgasm.  But she wasn’t near orgasm yet.  I went down on her for a few minutes and then she pulled me up and masturbated for a few minutes.  I don’t think she had an orgasm.  I think she really just wanted to orgasm from penetration, so she may have been a bit disappointed.  She wasn’t upset or anything, but I think she would have just preferred orgasm through intercourse.

So, I didn’t get that “amazing” feeling I had last time I went down on her after cumming inside her.  I think that “amazing” feeling really comes from bringing us both pleasure.  I was just being too narrow in focus.

Happy

Well, things have been just great lately.  Not too much new to tell, but things have been going very well.  My wife hasn’t taken any new steps forward, I don’t think, but she also hasn’t taken any back.

There was an awkward situation last weekend, though.  I had been sick all week and hadn’t eaten very much so I was starting to get light headed.  One of my sons was not being a very good listener so I started reprimanding him.  Well, he chose to ignore me and become more obnoxious and I started yelling.  This continued for a couple of minutes until my wife yelled at both of us and told me to leave the room because she was tired of listening to us.  I was taken aback and upset, but a part of me took great joy in it.  To have her just yell at me and boss me around felt so wonderful.  However, I felt it was completely inappropriate at the time and I sat down and refused to leave because I felt that I was in the middle of trying to discipline our child, and for me to stop because he wouldn’t behave would have been wrong.  I think my wife also quickly realised this.  When my son complained to her that I wasn’t leaving she replied “I’m not the boss of your daddy”.   Ouch!  I was worried that perhaps I had just royally screwed things up.  But, within minutes everything seemed to go back to normal and everyone was happy, etc.  But, I was still a bit worried for the next few days that things might have changed.

On the positive side, however, my wife seems to be having better(?), stronger(?) and multiple orgasms lately.  A few months ago she was more concerned that she wouldn’t have orgasms.  Two nights ago I was worried that I hadn’t been able to bring her to orgasm because she just kept going.  In fact, she had THREE orgasms!  The first was coital, the second was oral, and the third was manual (with a little help from me!).

God I was so happy as she beamed in post orgasmic bliss.  It brought me so much pleasure to go and get her some water afterward, and come back and see a giant wet spot on my side of the bed, lol.  It’s funny to think about, but it really makes me feel good to know that such little things can bring pleasure to us both.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my earliest fantasies were about being submissive and to some degree humiliation.  I understand the difference between reality and fantasy, however.  In reality I’ve never wanted humiliation at all.  I couldn’t imagine it feeling good at all.  Fantasy, sure.  Reality, no way.  But a thought occurred to me after making love to my wife the other night.  I couldn’t remember the last time she tasted my cum.  Now, she gives me oral all the time (less often these days, but I’m perfectly alright with that), but usually the oral is part of the fore play, or even just to lubricate before intercourse.  But even back in our younger dating days, when the point was a “blow job”, it just didn’t work out.  I think she gives the most amazing head in the world, but something just holds me back from cumming and she usually tires out before I can orgasm.  So, “blow jobs” in the past have actually been oral turning into “hand jobs” that finish with her mouth on my cock while (by this time) I masturbate.  So, it’s never been that common seeing as how it kind of loses something by the end, lol.  Nevertheless, it seems like she had my cum in her mouth a lot more often in the past.  But I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time that was.

Now, I was thinking about this because I had cum from both her and I on my face as I lay next to her after her multiple orgasms while she glowed with pleasure.  I’ve gone down on her many times now after cumming inside her.  So, as I lay next to her a strange new feeling came over me.  I didn’t quite understand it, but it felt good.  It felt so good, in fact, that I became immediately aroused.  It was this thought that I’ve had my own cum in my mouth lately, and she hasn’t.  And I lick it up as I bring pleasure to her.  Aaaaaahhhhhhhh….  Just thinking about it gets me hard and fired up!  I’ve never felt this before but it’s so intense and amazing!  I just think about it over and over.  I mean, this is just the sexiest friggan thing in the world to me right now.  Eating my cum out of my wife while she has multiple orgasms leaving a giant wet spot where I sleep.  YAY!!!