Sometimes vanilla IS kinky!

Well, it ended up being a pretty great weekend.  Of course, it was nothing like I imagined, which it never is.  I said at the end of my last post, “I’m really having a hard time keeping my mind from thinking about all sorts of deviant things, lol.  Oh, the possibilities!”.  Of course this was after explaining that I now understand that it’s best to try not to expect anything, that way you are less likely to be disappointed.  Well, I wasn’t disappointed, even if it would have been fun to do all the deviant things I was fantasizing about.

It turned out to be fairly vanilla, well aside from being told to clean the master suite so that it “felt like a hotel room”, and the pre-party orally induced orgasm my wife enjoyed while I remained in the device.  The device remained off the rest of the weekend, although the cock ring stayed on most of the time.

We had a good time at the party and got to know some new friends a little better.  I guess it’s not completely uncommon, but I was actually a bit surprised to see the two other husbands in our little circle we had formed serving their wives.  I usually don’t see too much of that at the few parties or events we attend.  We all sat around a table, but whenever a wife needed a drink the husband got up and got it.  Did a wife want something else?  Her husband attended to it.  It was nice to see.  I’m not implying this means anything, other than the husbands aren’t jerks.

Eventually we left and headed home.  Her toys had been left on my pillow, but as she had told me earlier in the evening while I went down on her, she would not be needing the dildo that night.  She told me she needed a “good, long, hard fucking”.  She did use her vibe a bit to get warmed up, then had me go down on her again for another orgasm.  Finally she told me she wanted me inside her and it was just good old fashioned sex.  It honestly was very much like the sex we used to have years ago.  I held her in the same ways and made the same moves.  After she came she told me I was allowed to cum and soon did.

The next morning we did something we haven’t been able to do for a long time.  We slept in and woke up and had morning sex.  It was very much like the night before, old fashioned sex.  The same pattern we’d had for years.  I go down on her, then we have sex, then she cums, and just like old times, she allowed me to orgasm again.

WOW!

I hadn’t had two orgasms in consecutive days since… when did I say I started doing this?  It was incredible!  As I lay next to her all I could think was, man, I could enjoy that feeling every day!  I mean, I used to enjoy that feeling multiple times a day!  I mean… Oh… My… God!  What have I done?

It was actually a very enjoyable self inflicted (well, I guess her telling me to cum a second time really induced it) mind fuck.  Yes, I thought about how insane it was to not cum whenever I wanted, but I’m not about to stop what we are doing.  I also know it’s a lot of fun to NOT cum.  Especially for weeks.  You can’t not cum for weeks if you are cumming all the time.

While sitting and watching football last night my wife asked me if I had fun over the weekend.  I assured her I did.  I appreciate that sometimes she just wants to get laid.  I don’t have any problems with that.  I’m sure she was a little worried that I’d be disappointed because she didn’t get all “domme-y” and keep me locked up while she used the dildo.  What is more important to me is that she gets what she wants.  Sometimes she wants it kinkier than other times, and that is great.  This time she wanted it in a very vanilla way.  What’s great about that is that it is so rare for us that it was exciting!  I’m sure she isn’t about to start letting me cum every day, so having that happen in a way could be considered incredibly kinky.  We were doing something “outside the norm”.

As a matter of fact it will probably be a lot more difficult these coming weeks as the memory of how amazing it is to have orgasms only hours apart.  Although I felt incredibly wiped out all yesterday, today I’m horny as hell and ready for more!

My long-ish comment on Thumper’s post

I just finished writing a comment on Thumper’s latest post, but it disappeared when I tried to send it through.  That kind of thing usually frustrates me, but this time it wasn’t so bad because the more I thought about it, the more I thought I could write about it.  So now it’s a post here instead of a comment there.

I totally understand the feelings Thumper is experiencing right now.  It was a little over a year ago that my wife kept me denied for five weeks for the first time.  In the middle of that period I started feeling a frustration due to what I perceived as apathy as opposed to Orgasm Control.  I felt like she just wasn’t really paying attention, not that she wanted me to wait.  My worries were for nothing as the wonderful payoff made me understand that she had indeed intentionally made me wait that long.  That assurance has made the wait in between orgasms much easier.  Because I don’t doubt she is in control, I am free to feel the wonderful frustration of longer periods of chastity to the point of the amazing/confusing moment of “I just want to cum, I hope she doesn’t let me”.

But even recently I was still finding myself having feelings much like Thumper.  I finally realized that I was setting myself up for disappointment by constantly being mentally prepared for sex.  I know that six out of seven nights my wife is more likely to just go to bed, yet every night we are together I seem to put myself in a sexual mindset.  The fix, of course, is pretty obvious.  I finally seem to have accepted that most of the time we just aren’t going to have sex.  Now, instead of being ready for sex, I’m expecting her to just go to sleep.

Last night as she lay in bed and I went to wish her good night and go through our little nightly rituals (fetching her water, etc.) she said to me, “I know that you were probably hoping for some hot sex tonight, but I’m really tired.  You can wait a couple more days, can’t you”?

It was very sweet of her to acknowledge my desire and in the past I may have been very disappointed.  Instead, I had already assumed she was just going to bed and was already thinking about what I was going to watch on TV.  I wasn’t even upset when she forgot to give me my “number” for the night (the edging exercises).

On the other hand I’m now really hyped up about Saturday night.  The kids are going on a sleepover and my wife and I are going to a nice “grown up” party and will have the house to ourselves afterwards.  I’m really having a hard time keeping my mind from thinking about all sorts of deviant things, lol.  Oh, the possibilities!

A new routine

Although I often mention our “talks” about our arrangement, we don’t really discuss it as often as it may appear.  Sure, we can openly talk about it, but it’s not like we do it all the time.  In between, though, when I’m not really sure how to talk about a certain topic, I send out feelers.  I make comments here and there and judge reactions.  I ask certain questions as well.  I need to do this to help figure out what is in my head.  Once I get things figured out enough I can have a conversation about it.

I realised last night that I think my wife is doing the same thing right now.  I think she is making a bit of an aggressive move and is sending out feelers to gauge how I’m dealing with it.  She has made certain comments and asked certain questions.  Nothing too obvious, but it seems to me she is making a mental leap herself and is trying to figure out how it is working in her own mind.

I mentioned in a previous post that she recently used me for oral services while keeping me locked in my device.  It was a fantasy type moment for me and I later told her that.  Since then she has repeated the scene several times.  She also told me during my last release that she found it incredibly sexy to know that my cock is bound while she has amazing orgasms.  She has mentioned it, or made implications about it turning her on a couple of other times as well.  The first time she said it to me I just assumed it was to get the reaction from me that it got, an orgasm.  She had made it clear that she wanted me to cum that night and after her orgasm she doesn’t generally like waiting around for me.  When she really wants me to cum she can generally make it happen pretty quickly.  So, I assumed the comment about how hot she thought me wearing the device while she used me was for effect, not necessarily true.  As I said, though, she has made the same implication a couple of other times.

A couple of nights ago we had a similar oral episode.  She was much more matter of fact about the situation to the point where after I got undressed and asked her if I should get her toys her response could have easily been summed up with, “Duh”.  It is a given at this point (apparently) that I am to bring the toys to bed when she is interested in sex.

As usual she started out with her mini vibe as I lay next to her.  When she was ready she had me go down on her.  After a while, lost in my own little world, I felt her slip in her dildo.  I moved my hand up to use it for her but she pushed it away and told me to “concentrate on my one job”.  I completely lost track of time as I flew through sub space while she writhed in pleasure.  Eventually she pushed me away and came down from her high.  When she could talk she turned to me with a smirk.

“I know you like to quantify everything, but I can’t tell you how many orgasms I just had.  They were continuous most of the time.  They could have been hundreds”.

I’m sure I was shaking visibly as I lay next to her.  I wanted to explode.  I didn’t want the moment to end.  It was the perfect moment where I have the feelings of “all I want to do is cum” and “the last thing in the world I want to do is cum”.  She eventually dismissed me from the room with the duty of edging myself four times before bed.

Last night, about 24 hours later, as we sat watching TV I noticed that my tongue, which had been sore all day, finally felt normal again.  I commented on this to my wife who replied, “Well that’s nothing.  Only 24 hours?”.  I replied that it must be getting used to the workouts.  At this point she tentatively asked me, “Did you have fun last night”?  With that question and some of her comments and implications I believe she really likes what she is doing and is doing it for herself, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t too much for me.  From the beginning she told me that she was a little worried about pushing me to far, something I assured her she couldn’t do.  Not that I can’t be pushed to far, I just know she wouldn’t be interested in any of the things that would be “too far” for me.  Anyway, it seemed pretty clear to me that she wanted to be sure that what she was doing was OK, that it wasn’t too rough on me.  Of course, as I said it is fantasy fodder for me, but it’s nice to know she is concerned.  It’s also nice to know that even though it’s fantasy fodder for me, it clearly something she likes as well, and likes so much that she felt it might be too selfish on her part.  A year and a half ago if i could have constructed a fantasy scene for us to play it would have been this scenario.  In fact, a year and a half ago she asked me to tell her some of my fantasies and I told her this.  I’m sure that knowledge was in her head the first time we did it.  I think she may actually have been surprised at how hot it was for her as well.  I think that’s why she was looking for the reassurance when she asked if it was fun for me too.  When we eventually have our next “talk” I hope she brings this up.  If not maybe I’ll ask her.

Speaking of quantifying…

I’ve been allowed 13 orgasms so far this year and not counting this month there have been 4 months where I was only allowed a single orgasm.  I told this to my wife last night and her response was, “and?”.  I replied, “nothing, just numbers” and stepped away from that land mine.

Wanting somebody else to know

I’ve often thought about letting a friend or two of ours know about our arrangement.  Frankly it’s been on my mind a lot lately.  There is one friend of ours that I’m sure could handle it, and probably would love the idea.  I’ve brought it up with my wife in the past and she agreed that if we told anyone it would be this one person.  The last time we talked about it, though, she just didn’t feel the need to let anyone know.

I keep wresting with the idea because it probably isn’t  the smartest thing in the world to do.  And yet I really want somebody to know.  Part of it is probably just a further desire for more kink.  If person X, the person my wife and I agree would be the first to know, knew would she expect me to wait on her when she visits?  Would she treat me differently?  Probably not, but in the fantasy world it’s exciting to think about.  I’m not talking about sex or anything either.  I’m talking about her sitting with my wife and asking me to get her more coffee.  Sure, it’s fantasy fodder, but it’s not the only reason I want to let somebody know.

I also want people to know because I’m proud of our arrangement.  If person X knew shew would undoubtedly be very excited for my wife and want to know all the details.  She may very well even be envious.  We are both fairly sure she wouldn’t be repulsed by it… she’s not the most vanilla person in the world by any means.  If X knew then my wife could talk freely with her about our arrangement.  Would my wife want to?  Although she says she doesn’t need somebody to talk to about it, she often tells people everything short of the “kink factors”.  She loves to tell people that I’m her stay-at-home husband.  While other women she works with will complain their husbands don’t cook or clean she loves to tell them what I’m making for dinner (or recently made) and what cleaning job I’m likely doing at the time.  Of course, many of these people try to make me feel better and tell me how they know “another at home dad” and how “he’s OK with it” too, assuming that I’m ashamed of my status but probably shouldn’t be too much.

Then again, just telling plain old anybody could be very dangerous.  Person X is like family to both of us, but as for other close friends, well, anything can happen.  Misunderstandings lead to complete fall outs all too often.  One tiny tiff could turn into a free-for-all that leads to exaggerated emails to my wife’s boss and co-workers about how she is a dominatrix or some other crazy stunts.

I suppose we could always search the internet to find like minded couples in the area, but that doesn’t really satisfy the desire for a friend to know.  I don’t particularly want to make new friends just so we can know somebody who knows about our arrangement.  It might be cool to know somebody else locally in a similar arrangement, but I think it would probably lead to a stronger desire to let a friend know.

I realise the smart move is probably to just keep it to ourselves.  But in a few weeks Person X will be in town visiting.  It would be great if she knew.  But she won’t know.  She’ll just know that I’m a very awesome husband who is lucky to have a very awesome wife.  But she already knows that.