A new routine

Although I often mention our “talks” about our arrangement, we don’t really discuss it as often as it may appear.  Sure, we can openly talk about it, but it’s not like we do it all the time.  In between, though, when I’m not really sure how to talk about a certain topic, I send out feelers.  I make comments here and there and judge reactions.  I ask certain questions as well.  I need to do this to help figure out what is in my head.  Once I get things figured out enough I can have a conversation about it.

I realised last night that I think my wife is doing the same thing right now.  I think she is making a bit of an aggressive move and is sending out feelers to gauge how I’m dealing with it.  She has made certain comments and asked certain questions.  Nothing too obvious, but it seems to me she is making a mental leap herself and is trying to figure out how it is working in her own mind.

I mentioned in a previous post that she recently used me for oral services while keeping me locked in my device.  It was a fantasy type moment for me and I later told her that.  Since then she has repeated the scene several times.  She also told me during my last release that she found it incredibly sexy to know that my cock is bound while she has amazing orgasms.  She has mentioned it, or made implications about it turning her on a couple of other times as well.  The first time she said it to me I just assumed it was to get the reaction from me that it got, an orgasm.  She had made it clear that she wanted me to cum that night and after her orgasm she doesn’t generally like waiting around for me.  When she really wants me to cum she can generally make it happen pretty quickly.  So, I assumed the comment about how hot she thought me wearing the device while she used me was for effect, not necessarily true.  As I said, though, she has made the same implication a couple of other times.

A couple of nights ago we had a similar oral episode.  She was much more matter of fact about the situation to the point where after I got undressed and asked her if I should get her toys her response could have easily been summed up with, “Duh”.  It is a given at this point (apparently) that I am to bring the toys to bed when she is interested in sex.

As usual she started out with her mini vibe as I lay next to her.  When she was ready she had me go down on her.  After a while, lost in my own little world, I felt her slip in her dildo.  I moved my hand up to use it for her but she pushed it away and told me to “concentrate on my one job”.  I completely lost track of time as I flew through sub space while she writhed in pleasure.  Eventually she pushed me away and came down from her high.  When she could talk she turned to me with a smirk.

“I know you like to quantify everything, but I can’t tell you how many orgasms I just had.  They were continuous most of the time.  They could have been hundreds”.

I’m sure I was shaking visibly as I lay next to her.  I wanted to explode.  I didn’t want the moment to end.  It was the perfect moment where I have the feelings of “all I want to do is cum” and “the last thing in the world I want to do is cum”.  She eventually dismissed me from the room with the duty of edging myself four times before bed.

Last night, about 24 hours later, as we sat watching TV I noticed that my tongue, which had been sore all day, finally felt normal again.  I commented on this to my wife who replied, “Well that’s nothing.  Only 24 hours?”.  I replied that it must be getting used to the workouts.  At this point she tentatively asked me, “Did you have fun last night”?  With that question and some of her comments and implications I believe she really likes what she is doing and is doing it for herself, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t too much for me.  From the beginning she told me that she was a little worried about pushing me to far, something I assured her she couldn’t do.  Not that I can’t be pushed to far, I just know she wouldn’t be interested in any of the things that would be “too far” for me.  Anyway, it seemed pretty clear to me that she wanted to be sure that what she was doing was OK, that it wasn’t too rough on me.  Of course, as I said it is fantasy fodder for me, but it’s nice to know she is concerned.  It’s also nice to know that even though it’s fantasy fodder for me, it clearly something she likes as well, and likes so much that she felt it might be too selfish on her part.  A year and a half ago if i could have constructed a fantasy scene for us to play it would have been this scenario.  In fact, a year and a half ago she asked me to tell her some of my fantasies and I told her this.  I’m sure that knowledge was in her head the first time we did it.  I think she may actually have been surprised at how hot it was for her as well.  I think that’s why she was looking for the reassurance when she asked if it was fun for me too.  When we eventually have our next “talk” I hope she brings this up.  If not maybe I’ll ask her.

Speaking of quantifying…

I’ve been allowed 13 orgasms so far this year and not counting this month there have been 4 months where I was only allowed a single orgasm.  I told this to my wife last night and her response was, “and?”.  I replied, “nothing, just numbers” and stepped away from that land mine.